After the end of her last relationship, my friend recently told me that all she really wants in a partner and lover now is kindness -- someone who treats her with a deep and reverent kindness. She is done with the longing for someone good-looking or necessarily intelligent, or even financially successful. At the heart of it, she is longing for someone who is kind.
One of my deepest longings is to have my lover touch me with kindness, the kind of touch that would allow my body to fully relax and know that it was completely and utterly loved, respected and cherished. A touch so alive, so present, and so tender that I would feel his love for me flow from the cells of his fingers to the cells in my skin. A kindness that is one soul telling another I see your Godliness and my touch knows this is a sacred act.
Tall order? Maybe, but then what if we all realized, and treated accordingly, that the human body is a sacred form, and the female body is a sacred vessel that brings forth life into existence? I think we would know a kindness here on earth we can now only imagine.
Another friend recently shared with me how she and her new lover (and soon to be husband) came to know each others' bodies for the first time. A survivor of sexual abuse, she had done a great deal to learn to be in her body, to love it and to respect its desires and wisdom.
As they began to make that delicious approach to intimacy, she found herself telling her lover something that surprised her as it flowed from her lips. She told him that she needed him to ask permission to touch her body, that it was important for her to give permission for him to touch her body in this most intimate way.
At first, I was so surprised by this. I know her and know that she loves this man and trusts him. But it wasn't about that. From what she said, it was about honoring her body as the sacred form that houses her soul.
Her asking was really as much for her as it was for him. It was establishing something between them -- an invitation to a most intimate and sacred relationship, human body to human body.
I know if I long for my lover to touch me in this way, I must first realize for myself that this flesh I live in is alive with the sacred, that it is the sacred made flesh. I must first learn to touch my own body this way, and to feel reverence for it. I must come to be at peace with the sacred imperfection of my female flesh.
As I listen to other women speak of their longing for a kind touch, a kind lover and a desire for the body to be honored, I see it is in keeping with the same need for us all to wake up to the sacredness of the earth's body.
It feels as if we are being asked to wake up to the sacredness of all of life, including our very imperfect humanity. For centuries, the goal was to awaken to our transcendent nature; and now, with the rising of the Feminine, and life moving towards a balance of the masculine and feminine, knowing our nature as consciousness deeply nestled in the crooks and crannies of everyday life is imperative.
By awakening to the sacred in the mundane, we come to touch the earth, and earthly life, with the reverence of a lover who has asked permission because we know we are in a sacred relationship with her, and with all beings.
How about you?
Have you felt a longing for a deep and reverent kindness to be shown to you and your body? I'd love to know...
This post was originally written for the Kind Kindred Series on Kind Over Matter.