The Cheers! That Changed The World

Pete Souza/White House

 

Remember the good old days when the only qualification for being president was how many people wanted to grab a beer with you? This flawless construct that twice gave us President George W. Bush may no longer be the gold standard but that doesn't mean beer has to be exiled to shameful obscurity, too!

 

Which is why Barry's bringing barley back. That's right. The president of the world is hosting a racial summit/happy hour to smooth over a little incident involving a non-racist white policeman arresting a black Harvard professor in his home, making him very angry, which in turn caused the president to get angry and say something about stupid cops acting "stupidly." Which didn't go over so well with the stupid cop in question.

 

So basically Obama got himself in the middle of this mess and now finds himself hosting an afternoon kegger on the White House lawn. Being President sucks!

 

But what Obama can't understand is why everyone is so "fascinated about this evening" when it's just "three folks having a drink at the end of the day and giving themselves a chance to listen to each other."

 

The goal of Thursday's brew crew isn't to amuse the media with their clever, albeit inaccurately named "Beer Summit" but to reduce the "anger and hyperbole" and promote "self-reflection" on an event that has become "so hyped and so symbolic."

 

An event that should never have happened since the election of Barack Hussein Obama as president was supposed to mean the end of racism forever. So much for promises!

 

But the real surprise was the appearance of resident ice-breaker Vice President Joe Biden, who enjoyed a cold one along with the President, Cambridge police Sgt. Jim Crowley and Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr., who of course already had the pleasure of making acquaintances when the former arrested the latter on the charge of being a black man living in a nice house in an upscale neighborhood.

 

“Even before we sat down for the beer, I learned that the two gentlemen spent some time together listening to one another, which is a testament to them,” Obama said. “I have always believed that what brings us together is stronger than what pulls us apart. I am confident that has happened here tonight, and I am hopeful that all of us are able to draw this positive lesson from this episode.”

Like how getting arrested isn't always a bad thing. If you play your cards right, it may even come with a White House tour and beer party on the Rose Garden lawn, complete with frosty mugs, all-you-can-eat silver bowls of pretzels and peanuts, and the one-of-a-kind comic stylings of Fightin' Joe Biden.

“I think many people would have hardly imagined something like this happening this time last week,” Gibbs said. "I think that kind of dialogue is what has to happen at every level of our society if we’re going to make progress on issues that we've been dealing with for quite some time.”

“I don't think the president has outsized expectations that one cold beer at one table here is going to change massively the course of human history by any sense of the imagination.”

Don't sell yourself short people! This changes everything. Now, not only is it possible to have a black man as president of America, it's also possible to get arrested before getting wasted. And to think, I always thought beer drinking was supposed to precede the disorderly conduct charges. Silly me!

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Comments

[lifesucks]

Let's see presidents are humans and they make mistakes - some bigger than others, but mistakes none-the-less.

[Julie Farby - Huffpost Blogger]

Persnickety, what an apt name for your prying eyes! Anyway, congrats on spotting the grammar flub, but hopefully the point was still made. Forgive the punchline "stumble"--let's hope not everyone is as keen as you!

[tmaxPA]

I didn't notice it until it was pointed out. I tend to be a grammar cop, but that one got passed me. Sorry to say mostly because I didn't think it was much of a point anyway. The rest of the piece was top notch, though. Thanks.

[shadow322]

Perhaps our communities need to develope a map of which citizens want police help and agree to follow police instructions without using profanity and abusive language - and those who do not want their help. I would say we might want one where "black officers only" are to respond but with the mixed races and mixed marriages - it would all be too complicated. I say let's go with "those who want police help and agree to conduct themselves accordingly and those who do not want police interfering with their racial prejudices - professor Gates!"

[tmaxPA]

I've got a better idea. Let's just only have the police arrest someone when they're actually breaking the law.

[shadow322]

Perhaps our communities need to develope a map of what citizens want their help and agree to follow police instructions without using profanity and abusive language - and those who do not want their help. I would say we might want one where "black officers only" are to respond but with the mixed races and mixed marriages - it would all be too complicated. I say let's go with "those who want police help and agree to conduct themselves accordingly and those who do not want police interfering with their racial prejudices against those who have sworn to protect and serve!"

[Persnickety]

Editor:

"I always thought beer drinking was supposed to proceed the disorderly conduct charges."
should be
"I always thought beer drinking was supposed to precede the disorderly conduct charges."

A shame to stumble right on the punchline.

[BobLablah]

I know you hate Bush, but no one would argue that George had less experience than Barry. George spent five years managing a mulitmillion dollar business and six years managing one of the biggest states in the country. Barry's only experience managing anything (by his own admission) was running his campaign. That doesn't mean he couldn't eventually be a good president, it just means right now he has no idea how to manage the process, which is evident in his failure with cap and trade and health care. If anything, Barry reinforces the idea that you can win an election because people would like to have a beer with you.

[Andrew Jones]

George W. Bush was a solid C student and drove both of his oil businesses into the ground. Obama was editor of the Harvard Law Revue. Guess which one drank more beer in college? Guess whose daddy hooked him up with all that "management experience?" Guess which one bent this country over a table and effed it for 8 years?

btw, Under W's Governorship, Texas was number one in the nation in executions, greenhouse gas emissions, pollution from manufacturing plants, percent of children and working poor parents without health insurance, and number 2 in overall uninsured. It ranked 47th in police spending and delivery of services, 48th in high school completion and per capita funding for public health, 49th on environmental spending, and dead last in Teacher compensation when including benefits. But on the bright side teen drug use spiked by 30%. Sooooo, you might not want to be bringing that up as a positive.

[BobLablah]

As you have just proven, no one could argue that Barry had more experience than George prior to being pres, unless editor of a school newspaper is much more important than I thought.