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Julie Spira

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Great Cities to Date Divorced Dads

Posted: 06/18/11 01:53 PM ET

As we approach Father's Day, it's time to honor the single dads who have returned to dating and are looking for another chance at love. For the divorced woman or single mom who's looking for love online, blending families with a single father is something to consider for the next chapter in your life.

According to Match.com, single dads are now 46% more likely to meet someone on their site as compared to men who are childless. Add in the fact that over 50% of single men will contact women with children than those without, the forecast for starting over post-divorce is far from bleak.

In a recent Match survey, the online dating site recently looked at their membership base and searched for keywords for single fathers aged 30-50 in 3 popular niche categories. The results appear below in the 10 top most popular cities in each category to find a date from your computer screen.

Arizona leads the list with two cities, Chandler and Scottsdale, in the top 10 to meet sports-crazed dads. Runners up in this category include Milwaukee - WI, Henderson - NV, and Charlotte - NC.

If you're looking for love in the kitchen, Scottsdale leads the list of foodie-dads, followed by Seattle -WA, San Francisco - CA, Portland - OR, and Boise - ID.

Not interested in hiring out? Head back to Scottsdale, as it's the number one locale for do-it-yourself dads as well. Other cities with love-oriented handymen include Boise - ID, Sarasota - FL, Vancouver - WA, and Toledo - OH.

Whitney Casey, Match.com's Relationship Insider and author of The Man Plan took time from her busy schedule for a Q and A on the subject, where we discussed their findings along with trends of single parents dating online.

Julie Spira: 30% of your male subscribers are single dads. Is this number continuing to increase?
Whitney Casey: Definitely. With our members 40 and up, often their children are signing them up for Match. Their kids are on Facebook and they encourage mom and dad to go online as well. The kids don't see the stigma with online dating as they grew up with Facebook and Google.

Julie Spira: What made you select do-it-yourself, sports-crazed, and foodie-dads?
Whitney Casey: At Match we decided to look for keywords that women put in their profiles. Many women wanted a guy who could cook a great meal, be handy around the house, and share similar interests in sports and activities.

Julie Spira: Why do you think single dads find logging in from 6-9am such a popular time?
Whitney Casey: If you ever want to get a man to do anything, ask him in the morning. When men wake up, their testosterone level is at the highest. They're busy getting their "to do" list done and it's a perfect time to go online and sift through who may be attractive and write to them. They don't have the distractions yet with their children and job in the beginning of the day.

Julie Spira: 68% of single dads wait at least 3 months before introducing someone they met on Match.com to their kids When is the right time to introduce your children when you're dating?
Whitney Casey: I talk to a lot of men who introduce their kids to everyone who comes over by saying, "This is my friend" or "This is daddy's friend" if they aren't looking for a serious relationship. I don't think there's a right or wrong time as long as they aren't spending the night.

Julie Spira: Why do you think over half (56%) of single dads will email single moms than men without children?
Whitney Casey: Because they feel a little bit lost. They don't have a lot of direction on how to raise the children. Often they don't want to have more kids, so by dating women who already have children they won't feel pressured into having a second family.

Julie Spira: What recommendations to give to single fathers dating on Match?
Whitney Casey: Don't talk about your children on your first date. Focus on the woman's profile. It's the best way to her heart. She has given you the keys to her kingdom by filling out her profile, saying where she'd like to go. Men should look at the woman's profile like it's the cliff notes or a cheat sheet for first date conversation.

Julie Spira: What do you suggest the woman give as a Father's Day gift to the single dad she's dating?
Whitney Casey: If you've only had a few dates, send him a test message saying "Happy Father's Day." You don't need to buy a card or a gift. It's overkill. After three months, give him a golf lesson, tickets to a sports game or two tickets to an event where he can take a friend or his son or daughter. For the music lover, get him an iTunes gift card. It's the equivalent of a man sending a woman flowers.

If your city isn't on this list, there's no need to fret. Log on to an online dating site and expand your search to other zip codes. With over 116 million people worldwide visiting Internet dating sites every month, it's easier now than ever to get lucky-in-love.

For more dating and relationship advice, visit Julie at CyberDatingExpert.com and like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert.

2011-06-16-MatchFathersDayInfographic.jpg

 
 
 

Follow Julie Spira on Twitter: www.twitter.com/JulieSpira

As we approach Father's Day, it's time to honor the single dads who have returned to dating and are looking for another chance at love. For the divorced woman or single mom who's looking for love onli...
As we approach Father's Day, it's time to honor the single dads who have returned to dating and are looking for another chance at love. For the divorced woman or single mom who's looking for love onli...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Thaag Tidestalker
Axial Tilt: the Reason for the Season!
10:38 AM on 06/23/2011
I notice that "intellectual dad" is not a factor. I wonder why.
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Deep Thinking Man
Always Remember, A Wet Bird Never Flies At Night !
01:55 AM on 06/23/2011
if i were to date a woman with children, i would prefer the children have their own home. i met a woman in '04 and her daughter, the daughter's boyfriend and their child was with this woman. seven years later (now), they're still with her. the daughter is 30-31 and works as a nurse. the bf has a job but i don't know what he does.the woman is the babysitter, maid, chef, etc., etc., etc., there is so much stupidity and drama in her house-hold, it's not funny. she once told me that she wished she had her life back; i explained that if she wanted it bad enough she should take it back. all four are still together. she's happy that she lives in the South. i think that i should tell her that she's picked the right part of the country...slavery began there !!!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MexiChick67
Que? Que? Queee?
05:37 PM on 06/21/2011
Going into a relationship with a person that has children already I would highly recommend seeing what the relationship is between the guy or gal you are looking to date and their ex. If they have a amicable and cooperative relationship then it will be a positive factor. Otherwise it will haunt you down the line.
08:46 PM on 06/19/2011
I think someone is confused about the difference between correlation and cause and effect. When I contact a woman on Match, it's because I find her attractive, interesting, etc. She may or may not have children (I don't choose her because she does). The fact is, many single women in my age range on Match are mothers ... so therefore I tend to contact single moms.

The idea that because they have children makes them more desirable can't be proven by a statistic. That's a pretty bold claim not backed up by anything real.
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Deep Thinking Man
Always Remember, A Wet Bird Never Flies At Night !
09:17 PM on 06/18/2011
My Fantasy

i'd love to meet a woman who would love me as much as i would love her !!!!!!...however, i don't sense it will ever happen !!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MexiChick67
Que? Que? Queee?
05:30 PM on 06/21/2011
It will happen if... you allow yourself to be loved. Love is a two way street. Too many times I find one person in the relationship putting in all of the effort the the other is a sponge. That's not a good relationship. Run, don't walk, away from those relationships. During the dating process make sure that the scales are balanced.
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Deep Thinking Man
Always Remember, A Wet Bird Never Flies At Night !
05:40 PM on 06/21/2011
thanks MC !!!!...i gave all to my marriage, and it was never appreciated !!!!!...that's why i'm still single...i'm not afraid of another relationship...i just refuse to take that chance again !!!!

you've been fanned my friend !!!!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cameron d
Good Guys Win
08:46 PM on 06/18/2011
Why would anyone want to date a guy with a kid? I know I'm a single man without a kid and I have no intention of ever dating a woman with a kid. Do people actually think dating a person with a kid is a plus?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
doris french
Technically we are beyond survival?
09:49 PM on 06/18/2011
Seriously, are you surprised that some people in the world are NOT like you? Wow! What a revelation. Some people like children and would love to have them.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MexiChick67
Que? Que? Queee?
05:32 PM on 06/21/2011
The reality is that if you are dating after 40 and looking at women over the age of 25 you will find that most women have children. But then if you date women after 35 then you will have a bit of baby rush.
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Deep Thinking Man
Always Remember, A Wet Bird Never Flies At Night !
08:16 PM on 06/18/2011
hhmmm...so does this article mean that one must live in huge cities to meet a woman or man ???
08:39 PM on 06/18/2011
yes
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Julie Spira
Bestselling author and online dating expert
10:33 PM on 06/18/2011
If you look at the map, you'll see the three most populated cities, New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago are not on this list.
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playsindirt
So much dirt, so little time.
06:40 PM on 06/18/2011
Why would you want to find a single Dad unless of course you're a single Mom and you want to share war stories and baggage.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
123dee
The best is yet to come...
08:46 PM on 06/18/2011
I was just thinking maybe my unmarried daughter (34) should consider this, a step grandchild
is better than none. And of course, I have to keeps my thoughts to myself (or share them with you)
because she would give a very serious eye rolling.
10:57 PM on 06/26/2011
If your unmarried 34yo daughter has no children, don't worry.... she still has plenty of time. Don't rush her into having a kid just to procreate. If she has a child with the wrong guy, she is bound to that loser for life. She is better off taking her time & finding the right one.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Brigette
The history of liberty is the historyof resistance
09:23 PM on 06/18/2011
That's what I was thinking. I wouldn't be completely closed off to it, but certainly not something I'd go looking for.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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IsotelusMaximus
Appalachian American
06:31 PM on 06/18/2011
So, these places are also not the best places to find committed women?