As an online dating coach, one of the biggest complaints I hear from men is that after a while, every profile they view looks the same. There are too many choices and their searching process becomes so blurry, that they often just turn off the computer and go out to hang out with the guys.
Think about it and let's compare it to selecting the perfect scoop of ice cream to sweeten your palate. If the choices were all vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry, it might not be that inviting as compared to Pineapple Passion Fruit, Cinnamon Buns, or Karamel Sutra, just a few flavors I can't wait to try when I'm at Ben and Jerry's.
So without further digital ado, and minus the calories, here are a few steps you can do to immediately have a more unique profile, without resorting to posting skydiving photos.
1. Reduce the word count.
Describing your life story should be written in your personal journal and not be included in your dating profile. Statistics show that writing a shorter profile will get more responses. Not everyone reads your entire profile and you'll be lucky if they read the first few sentences. If they scroll down and notice a long-winded profile, it's likely that they'll say, "Next!"
Solution: Leave the novel at home. Drop the long drawn out description and reduce your profile by at least a paragraph, if not more. Remember, dating is about getting to know you over time. Details of your relationship and family history and listing every vacation you've gone on won't leave room for imagination. It's a digital dance, so make it a sneak peek into your life.
2. Dump the Cliché's.
Every girl dreams of taking a romantic beach walk or staring at the sunset for a dream date. Let's take a reality check and ask yourself, just how many beach walks are you going on? Maybe you'll do so with a date at some point, but it's oh so boring for them to read this over-and-over again. It goes hand-in-hand with saying you can dress from jeans to black-tie and want a man with a sense of humor. So if you're asking for a guy who works hard and plays hard, you're not one in a million. You're among the multi-million profiles with those same overused words.
Solution: Nix these clichés now and replace them with photos and actions and about what makes you the girl he wants to know more about. If you're stumped, ask a friend what makes you different and unique. He or she may remind you how you're the first one out at 6am to clean the bay or love the fact that you volunteer to feed the homeless in soup kitchens on Thanksgiving. Replace the blue jeans to black tie cliché with photos of you dressed in a variety of outfits. He'll get the picture and will want to see more.
3. Ask a Question.
This is something that I believe is an absolute must on every profile. Remember that your profile shouldn't be a monologue or all about you. You need to start a two-way dialog with your profile as a brief introduction about yourself. Your dream date must be able to imagine his or her life with you, not just watching you from afar wondering if he'll fit it or not.
Solution: Name a few of your favorite vacation spots and ask if you're date has ever been there before. List a local mountain you'd like to hike and ask if he's ever done that before. Mention a rock band that you've always wanted to see and ask if you're the only one who hasn't seen Lady Gaga in concert. Mention you'd like to take golf lessons and have clubs collecting dust in the garage and ask if anyone would like to go with you to the driving range. This makes it easier for someone to write to you with a specific solution and answer to your question. It will instantly increase the amount of emails that you'll be receiving.
4. Don't Say a Friend Made You Sign Up.
I heard an amusing story from a gentleman who said he had never been online before and that Internet dating wasn't for him. He claimed his best married buddy's wife signed him up because she was so tired of her hubby going out to singles bars with his only single pal. He went on to say her jealousy of their friendship became such a huge problem, that she put up a profile without telling him. Really? If the thought of being online was so repulsive, he could have demanded that she delete the profile. Instead, he goes on dates and makes sure each woman knows it wasn't his idea. He also stated it in his profile.
Solution: Don't be negative in your dating profile. Never say you never thought you'd be joining a dating site. It's not new news that the stigma of Internet dating is gone. Everyone from celebrities to your neighbors has tried online dating. You're not a loser if you've got an active online dating profile. You'll only lose if you don't log on and meet fabulous people outside your regular social circle.
Make some of these changes to your profile now and you'll be surprised at the results.
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating. She creates irresistible profiles for singles on the dating scene. For more online dating advice, sign up for the free Weekly Flirt and follow @JulieSpira on Twitter.