When one of my favorite radio stations, WCCO in Minneapolis, called me to discuss the 'Tinderella Syndrome' and wanted my take if women weren't able to approach and meet men offline because of their addiction to Tinder and mobile dating apps, I thought the concept made no sense to me at all.
In an article on the Daily Mail, it mentions that Psychologist Emma Kenny believes that online dating breeds impatience and insecurity. Are singles really insecure because they're dating online? I don't think so. I know some women might feel badly offline that they aren't meeting anyone, and they are taking matters into their own digital hands by creating online dating profiles and swiping right and left on Tinder with the hopes of connecting with someone to meet IRL.
Here are the reasons I don't believe in the 'Tinderella Syndrome.'
1. Mobile apps make it easier to connect with people close by. Let's face it. We're all busy people juggling work, social calendars and family commitments. Those who are interested in meeting someone close by can easily log onto Tinder by signing up through Facebook, posting six photos, and can take the time to view a profile instead of just swiping right or left to give a digital thumbs up or down on a profile. If the profile indicates they're really looking to meet someone for a relationship, they can start chatting instantly if it's a mutual match.
2. Almost 35 percent of married couples met online. A study from the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, showed that about one-third of marriages were as a result of online.
3. A Pew Research study shows that 59 percent of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people. With over half of Americans thinking online dating is the way to go, remember that most singles are using mobile dating apps, which speed up the process.
4. Mobile dating apps and online dating sites help those who are shy communicate with potential dates. It's my opinion that using dating apps and dating sites only helps those who are too shy to approach someone in a bar to say hello. By chatting online, I think self-esteem can be improved and communicating skills with potential dates will also become easier. The key is to take your relationship from online to offline and meet IRL.
5. Online dating stigma is pretty much gone. It's a matter of time that the stigma for Tinder or mobile dating apps for hookups will also diminish. Already we are seeing many relationships of couples who've found love on Tinder.
If you're worried that Tinder doesn't result in meeting in person, if your mutual match isn't communicating with you or interested in meeting, just move on. Tinder reports they are seeing 10 million matches a day and 850 million swipes per day. With all of that activity, it's pretty easy to figure out who's playing the game and who will want to meet. If their profile is rather empty and they only say, "hey," it's probably not going to become a meaningful relationship.
In my conversation with John Hines from WCCO - CBS Radio, I told him that Tinder is known to have a membership base of mostly 18-34 year olds and many aren't looking for a serious relationship and are hooking up. But some are truly looking for a new digital outlet to find a date or love. Tinder fills that need.
Yes, Tinder is like a game and it asks you to keep playing instead of suggesting that you meet in person. There will always be those who love the digital ego boost of flirting online, with or without Tinder. However, there will always be those who truly are looking for a connection. Tinder makes it easy to connect. It's up to you to decide if the relationship is ready to move offline.
If you truly believe you can't meet someone offline because you'd rather chat online, think about how your life was before the days of Tinder. Were you able to have conversations with interesting people at a party? Did you find offline chemistry before or ever smile at someone at a coffee shop? Online dating is just one way to engage with healthy communications. A combination of online and offline dating will indeed help you find someone compatible to date.
As time goes on, we will see that more and more singles in their 40s and up will also be using Tinder, due to the ease of creating a profile and the flexibility of connecting on the fly with singles in their geographic area. I have a feeling, they're also meeting people offline as well.
Do you believe in the 'Tinderella Syndrome?'
Julie Spira is an online dating expert and was an early adopter of Internet dating and is the founder of CyberDatingExpert.com. Julie helps single women and men find love on the Internet, on Tinder, and other mobile dating apps. For more dating advice, follow @JulieSpira on Twitter and sign up for the free Cyber-Dating Expert Weekly Flirt.
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