The other day, I bumped into a colleague pushing her 18 month old through the streets of Rome in a cherry-red stroller. The dark scowl on the little boy's face clashed with the brightness of his cross-country four-wheeler. The exasperation on her face was unmistakeable.
She's been out of the journalism world since her son was born. And she made no bones about her frustrations. Not professional; parental.
So far, so good. I listened and identified with her on several fronts. That is, until she came out with a phrase that made me gasp.
"I took him to daycare today, because I need to get rid of him." I glanced at her and said gently, "Take it easy. You can't express yourself like that in front of him. He hears and understands everything..."
She retorted: "Are you kidding? He knows I need to get rid of him. I can't stand him anymore." Then she added equally angrily "And he can't stand me."
On the one hand, I felt sorry for this mother whose attitude had turned so sour towards her child. And who clearly felt unloved by him. It takes a lot to push one to speak with such vehemence.
On the other hand, it angers me that a mother can have such a poor grasp of basic child psychology that she insults her son to his face. Without understanding the damage she is doing to his self-esteem. Children whose feelings are trampled on in such a manner, grow up with very little self confidence.
There's no point being surprised later on, if -- once they become parents themselves -- they perpetuate the cycle and fail to show respect for their own children in more ways than one.
Or not?
