If you would have asked me years ago what my most blissed life entailed, I would have said parties, alcohol, older boyfriend, sleeping out and rollin' with my crew. Turns out, this wasn't the most sustainable recipe for blissful living.
Looking back, I wasn't shining my "true colors."
I said yes to things I actually wanted to say no to, ignored my intuition far more often than I listened, and dug myself into a pity party because I let drinking manage my emotions instead of truly healing them.
I was burning the candle at both ends in my relationships and social life, by saying "yes" to everything, even though my heart strings were pulling me in a different direction.
We all go through this experience at one point or another -- saying "yes" when you really want to say no. In my case, it was during high school -- a time when feeling accepted was more important than listening to my calling.
Before I knew it, I felt "too deep" to opt out of the lifestyle I was living. I created an identity that revolved around everything outside of myself that there was no possible way I could express what I actually was feeling.
It wasn't until college when I started to say "yes" to myself and started connecting with my core desires and values that I understood what was possible. I discovered that with practice, saying yes to what you really want gets much easier over time, and it also gives you the space to align with your life's purpose.
Just to set it straight, I would not take back my experiences when I was younger for anything -- that's not what I'm getting at here. I also had some really good times with great people, shared incredible laughs, had heartfelt conversations with my girlfriends and nights that I'll have in my memory forever.
The point I am getting at is the importance of learning from your experiences and applying the lessons to where you are in your life now.
The exact experience you have is as important as the lessons you learn from it.
Here are my 10 tips to live your most blissed life:
1. Have a heartfelt conversation with yourself.
Take a look at how you are currently living your life. Ask yourself, am I being real with myself? Am I proud of who I am? What do I want to be proud of? What do I love about myself? What am I ready to love about myself? Listen to the answers that arise.
2. Self-love on self-love on self-love.
If you're not making self-love a priority, you're preventing yourself from true bliss. Whether you are a parent, girlfriend, boyfriend, daughter, son, sister, brother, friend -- doesn't matter what your role is -- you deserve self-love. This means taking yourself on a date to the movies because you can, spending an hour out of your day to go on a walk in nature, diving into the best damn book because you love it. Make self-love a practice and a priority.
3. Stop taking your emotions at face value.
You feel that all too familiar emotion rise. You get into a negative mindset once again, and suddenly you become the victim. But what if you didn't allow your emotions to take over so quickly? First, acknowledge your emotion. Second, recognize you are not your emotion -- it is simply energy moving through you. Third, repeat this powerful affirmation: "I see you. I forgive you. I love you and I release you."
4. Your confident "no" beats a guilty "yes."
Okay, this is a biggie. As women, it is natural for us to say yes to people because we are nurturers and don't like to disappoint. And it can go the same for men, too. But you actually squander your visions and goals the more you say "yes" to something that doesn't feel good to you. You end up feeling more tired because you're not focusing on the things you love to do. So make "no, thank you," your new mantra.
5. Pay attention to the signs.
The universe has a unique way of speaking to you. When you commit to a blissed life, the universe reflects the energy you put out. Start paying attention to your surroundings and find the lessons and opportunities that life is giving you up close and personal.
6. Find your soul mates.
You need a tribe that uplifts you. It's about time you had people in your life who support you and encourage the very best for you. If you're hanging around people who judge, question, or prevent you from shining, it's time for some soul searching and find the people who align with your message and where you're headed. Because they're heading in that direction, too.
7. Listen to the people who light you up.
There is a reason you're drawn to certain people. The thing that inspires you about them is a reflection of who you are and what is dying to be expressed through you. Follow them, tune into their authenticity, and let them bring out the best in you.
8. Your fears are your friends.
I promise I'm not crazy. Okay, maybe a little. But instead of letting your fears hold you back from living your life, allow your fears to guide you to where you want to go. They have a knack for guiding you right outside of your comfort zone, which is exactly where you need to play to truly live your potential.
9. Get the support you crave.
Do any of these steps so far seem scary or impossible? You don't have to do this alone. Enter: life coach, health coach, spiritual coach or the coach who does all three. Having an individual who can shine a light on your situation and hold a space where you can feel totally safe to just be is priceless. Don't just survive, thrive.
10. Never deny your calling
Your calling is your true expression. It is what you were born with before you could speak and before conditioning by your parents and society. It's how you shine and by living it, allow other people to shine. So wherever you find yourself within your relationships or career, become mindful of your true expression and watch your world shift.
The short recipe for blissful living?
Living your potential and full expression of who you truly are = blissed life.
Now go live yours.
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