Anyone Can Play Guitar

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a man an AC/DC album, and he'll make a jackass out of himself for a lifetime. This is the unspoken heart of Alexandra Lipsitz's documentary, Air Guitar Nation. Shot over four years, this well-directed, quickly-paced film documents the rise of the professional air guitar movement in the United States (yes, there really is a professional air guitar movement in the United States), from its humble beginnings over a strip club in lower Manhattan to the glorious summit of having someone shoot a documentary about it. But as is true of any good documentary, Air Guitar Nation is really about people. Two men of singular vision, David "C-Diddy" Jung and Dan "Björn Türoque" Crane, both vying to be recognized as the best in the world at moving your fingers fast and running around making your face look weird while someone else plays music really loud.

But damned if they aren't masters of moving their fingers fast and running around making their faces look weird while someone else plays music really loud. Turn on "Sweet Child O' Mine," Jung and Crane, become Diddy and Björn, ascending to different planes from mortal men, and rocking harder than the most pixie-sticked 13 year-old in the most soundproof basement in America. Watching them compete against each other will immediately ignite a debate in the great tradition of Ozzy vs. Dio, Sammy vs. Diamond Dave, and Rawls vs. Nozick. Diddy's affable charm and expressive mugging contrast sharply with Türoque's "delusional-esque" preening and upright "playing" style, but both will draw in any viewer with their surprisingly athletic choreography and fist-pumping rock and roll soundtrack. Put up against the best in the world -- from LA's glam-rock Kyre Tuff to Australia's Carrot Top doppelganger, Roxy McStagger, to Belgium's amazing quote machine, "Stan Kreich" ("He's a guitar player, not a stripper. Do you know what I mean?") -- you will fear for them, you will cheer for them, and, if you're anything like me, you will spend the next day with the blinds down listening to the Darkness on repeat and trying to think of a name better than "Björn Türoque" for next year's regional qualifier.

If you don't believe me, watch the trailer. For those about to move your fingers fast and run around making your face look weird while someone else plays music really loud, we salute you.