THE BLOG

Talking Brave

02/19/2015 12:19 pm ET | Updated Apr 21, 2015
Ezra Bailey via Getty Images

The most important conversation you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. This is what I say, and it's one that has been super important to me in my life. You see, I found that my negative self-talk has had a negative impact on my life for many years. As I started to "clean up" my self-talk, focusing on positive reinforcement and positive messaging, I noticed a shift in how I felt, how I carried myself, and the way I tackled challenges that popped up.

Recently, I've discovered another way to increase my confidence and productivity, while helping me break out of my comfort zone, I call it, "talking brave."

I have lots of big hopes and dreams; lots of things I want to achieve and bucket list items that are far beyond anything I would have imagined just a few short years ago. I have found that when I talk to others about these things I start to feel more confident about them.

I was brainstorming with a colleague about a seminar I wanted to host. It was a bit of a stretch for me but the more I talked about it the more I felt like I could do it. After talking to a few more people about it I found myself feeling more confident and I ultimately scheduled the session and began the planning and marketing for it. Instead of just wanting it to happen, I started to take steps to make it happen.

If you've read the book, The Secret, you probably get the premise of believing things will happen and then watching as the universe rearranges itself to make things happen for you. While I enjoyed the book and I believe that there is something to the premise, I also believe if you want things to happen you have to get off your butt and work for them to happen.

But I have noticed that as I've started to tell people about my goals and dreams, opportunities to make them happen have started to come my way. I was daydreaming with my friend about going out to California someday and hosting a series of wellness retreats. Not long after, I received an invitation to go to Monterey Beach in October to be a presenter at a wellness retreat that is being organized by some of my fellow health coaches.

So where does talking brave come in? Talking brave is about using empowering words to verbalize what you want out of life. It involves speaking in a tone of confidence and using action words.

It's not about "wishing" that you could go to California. It's about talking brave and stating, "I plan on going to California." It's about swapping out those "wimpy" words for words that are more empowering and action-oriented.

Instead of hoping and wishing for something, it's about planning, creating a strategy, and preparing for it.

Instead of waiting and praying, it's about believing, working hard, working toward, and expecting to.

When I started talking brave I actually felt differently. My confidence level soared and I started to really believe that I would reach my goals. I felt empowered to start working more diligently. And people that I talked brave to started talking brave as well. They started to stand a little taller and walk with a little more purpose. One of my coworkers even remarked that they felt more powerful and better about themselves whenever we chatted; I took this as a compliment!

Want to start talking brave? Go ahead and start. Instead of saying, "I wish I could do that," start saying, "I think I'm going to try doing that."

Instead of, "I hope I get that promotion," say, "I'm going to work toward that promotion." And instead of waiting to get the corner office, waiting for the cute girl down the hall to ask you out, or waiting for the money to take your dream vacation, start talking about how you're going to make those things happen for yourself.

Talking brave is about changing your mindset and believing that you can have, do, and be all the things you want to have, do, and be.

Life is short and time keeps ticking by. Don't waste another minute limiting yourself with wimpy words and negative self-talk. Talk brave; start today!