Pleading the Fifth: The Palin Constitution Revolution

G8 Update: Their Lincoln photo added below:

Our Fourth of July kicked off like a Kurt Vonnegut novel. Small town reactionaries answering to a bullhorn chant of "When I say constitution, you yell revolution." Constitution. Revolution. Constitution. Revolution . . . I don't know what to call it but the Convolution Party aired its brand new platform on the steps of a Land of Lincoln courthouse, some in their Glenn Beck Live Free or Die shirts.

The first speaker read from a list of talking points that markedly coincided with the more comprehensible parts of Sarah Palin's resignation speech including promoting big oil and creationism. Dozens of huddled masses clustered under their giant golf umbrellas in the rain. The creator sent rain, or they may have whipped out muskets. One of their local web site tea party activities is target practice with guns purchased after the election. This Fourth of July at our courthouse museum there was no mention of the Illinois Senator who went on to the presidency, Abraham Lincoln, while bullhorns blared over his statue.

At the end of the celebration, if angry shouting constitutes a celebration, it was announced that they plan to rally across the country on September 12th to fondly remember how patriotic the country was the day after the Twin Towers fell. To fondly remember that day. Anyone who suffered though September 11th is going to have to watch the Beck/Palin Convolution Party politicize their loss. Just like Bush did with the preemptive attack on a country that did not attack us, no matter what Cheney used to say. It took more than 4,000 American lives lost for the Convolutionists to realize that they were duped. Imagine how long it's going to take them to realize that Jefferson, Paine and Lincoln were agnostic progressives.

The first speaker, blessed with very little god-given eloquence, handed the microphone over to an apparent British Convolutionist who started the crowd chanting that America is the best country in the world. Which makes him the least patriotic British citizen in the world. On the 4th of July, random British guy then moved on to what truly united this fringe element: Nothing is or has ever been America's fault. He shouted that in any disaster around the world, everyone hopes that America will come to save them. Notwithstanding the invasion of Iraq on trumped up intelligence, that's also a hard sell when you're from New Orleans where Donald Rumsfeld waited for four days to deliver water to Americans stranded at the Convention Center. This was going to be our Fourth of July to celebrate freedom from 8 years of the Bush fiasco, but the turncoat redcoat across the street dampened that hope.

Next, a GOP politician's spokesman started speechifying, but most of the crowd left after the Simon Cowell of Convolutionaries was finished. In a pale effort to legally qualify for a public forum at a historic landmark on a national holiday, the last speaker mentioned that citizens could get involved with either party -- Republican or Libertarian. The crowd was also told not to get their information on television, prepare to be mocked and read some special books. They were exhorted to "Go home and watch Glenn Beck," so it's clear whose book sales stand to gain from all this tomfoolery.

The Convolution Party seems to consist of the same neo con men who took over the GOP in the Moral Majority and Bush years. The chickenhawks who brought their, "Who would Jesus torture?" mentality to diplomacy are now giddy with apocalyptic predictions. The speculation Beck is spinning is that Palin has some

#secretplanthatmayinvolvepresidencyofthenewpartywhosenamewecan'ttellyou.

From his breathy posts, Beck touts Palin as practically representing the fourth horseman of the apocalypse with Beck himself chomping on honey coated books about the end of days. Revelations meets Revolutionary War Revisionism. And just because these people are comically wrong on history and patriotism, does not mean they didn't spoil everyone's 4th of July.

Glenn Beck spent the 4th of July at a flag burning / retirement ceremony in Utah with groups of participants at the stadium dressed 18th Century style for their own convoluted reasons. Sort of a 'come for the bile, stay for the leggings' theme. Then the Jonas Brothers performed and the whole shebang was called Stadium of Flames. The Utah location would indicate that it's step one in Beck's backing of a new Palin / Romney Convolution Party. He lifted his new book's name directly from Thomas Paine's pamphlet, ignoring the fact that PaIne was famously agnostic and persecuted for those beliefs. But the tea bagging Convolutionists aren't going to find this out while they're retweeting Beck's cryptic instructions. Their new motto is, "We Surround You" which is so Zombie-like, apparently even Karl Rove isn't writing wingnut slogans anymore.

It's more bothersome than amusing when the Convolution Party lands on your front doorstep, trying to thwart one of the few holidays founded by progressives. Next they'll take over solstice and call a halt to the change of seasons. How did the day wind down? With the words "There Ain't No Doubt I Love This Land" blasting from a boombox. Which is a double negative, so there is indeed doubt they love this land. Finally, they played the Star Spangled Banner but unplugged the boombox before it was done, bagged up the flags and drove their trucks home. Even Abraham Lincoln wouldn't want this crowd to not secede after blocking his statue, revising history, depressing progressives and ruining our post-Palin resignation glow.

So here's a note to the new Convolution Party leaders: I get it, the Republican Party was founded here and you're jumping from the same springboard. But Lincoln's party was founded on not splitting the union and your new endeavor is founded on the opposite. We'll probably vote to let you go if your heart is set on seceding. For starters, take Texas and its secession-happy governor. Take Sanford, Palin, Jindal -- fill the Convolution State of America with all the wingnut governors, elderly Beck viewers you've hoodwinked, kids you dazzled at the Stadium of Fire, insurance, banking, big oil and weapons lobbyists and random neocons now gathering dust in the closet. And Fox News. Then go away. Because cynical politicization of July 4th or September 12th is not what America was founded on. Neither is an August 30th rally to celebrate how our country felt the day after Hurricane Katrina hit, in case you're wondering.

Our majority has elected the Senator from Illinois, Barack Obama, as President of the United States whether or not that is acknowledged by whatever you end up naming your party. This is the beginning of the end of an age of ignorance. And that's something to celebrate on the 5th of July, the 6th of July and every day for the rest of the year.

Lincoln in a peace sign. Happy Every Day After the 4th of July.

Update: Greenpeace likes to dress up Lincoln, too!

Follow Karen Dalton-Beninato on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kbeninato

Comments

[rbenjamin]

This is really the same old John Birch Society crowd. Small, loud and fearful. Not deterred by facts.

[NCIndependant]

Not a bad article, but did you mean Thomas Paine the Founding Father or Thomas Payne the London bookseller?

[Karen Dalton-Beninato - Huffpost Blogger]

Paine, thanks! But also Beck hates Payne on account of books.

[Eyeheartfreedumb]

And sadly, this is as close to a viable (by viable I also mean crazy) third party alternative we've been in years (not a party I would support, but it has support). Kudos to anyone offering something other than the same Republican or Democratic snake oil (What... this IS republican snake oil? But it has different packaging? Close enough.) They could even invoke Teddy Roosevelt as being their inspiration (if they ignore the fact that they have noting in common with T.R., but they seem to be good at ignoring the truth).

[Rogan]

"This is the beginning of the end of an age of ignorance.­"

Please God let that be true.

[othorp]

Eloquent Post Karen and Great Comment JTL.

None of us from the 'middle' to the 'left' will allow ourselves to be muzzled after the past 8 years of fear and that's a force the far right will have to get used to.

[jerocat]

Before being elected Governor, Sarah Palin resigned from her appointment as Chairman of Alaska" Oil and Natural Gas Regulation Board where she uncovered serious corruption by the Chairman of the Alaska GOP and Alaska's (R) Attorney General. After she exposed them to public scrutiny, she won the election for Governor and prosecuted them and other thugs. As Governor she enforced the forgotten Alaska Constitution enabling each Alaska citizen to profit from their rightful property, an equal share of the state's natural resources. She's led the largest infrastructure project in the USA, the huge new pipeline from Alaska to the Lower 48. Lately hoards of muck-rakers vetted her and have not found a single shred of evidence against her. All has been dismissed. How many others abandoned Senate seats to pursue larger endeavors? She 's poised to advance with millions who recognize her fight for a free republic.

She leaves office as the most popular and effective Governor in the USA.

Crooked politicians now in the White House and halls of Congress fear her sting. They know what she did to crooks in Alaska. They that her words ring true and she'll pop their corruption bubbles if she continues to speak. That's why opponents make ugly noises.

She chose the 4th of July to declared her political independence. She aligns herself on that event (the debate and drafting) with Washington, Jefferson, Franklin and Adams who like Sarah Palin also gambled. They gambled with their lives, "treasure" and "sacred honor."

[americanwoman1]

She is a quitter, plain and simple a quitter, Americans can not stand quitters. Those men gave everything for this country, she couldnt give 4 years. A quitter .

[Ppossom]

Speaking of CROOKING, how about them back taxes that Sarah had to pay? Or the $8,100 paid back to Alaska for overclaimed travel costs? How about the claims now filed for "travel costs" incurred while Sarah was sitting in her Wasilla living room? Who knows how the sports stadium investigation will turn out, but we all know about the silly theft of RNC clothing.

[NCIndependant]

Try facts, they're more apt to convince..­.

[NedroidPrime]

I smell a case of cognative dissonance­...

[CherokeeGirl]

I've had to accept the fact that just electing Obama doesn't make these people go away.

It's gonna take another 40 years to really see them fade out of existence.

Son won't think Dad's cool. Daughter won't think Mom's cool, and will think for themselves.

Of course, with the handing down of hate doctrines, there will still be those that will be brainwashed.

I'm just looking to the 2010 elections to spank some congressional butt (good old boys OUT:)

Thanks for risking your life by going to this "get together". I thought about driving by with a sign of my own, but thought better of it, since that would be asking for trouble from people with no brain cells.

[Karen Dalton-Beninato - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey all, thanks for the wonderful comments! The response has been so great, I fear we're due for some trolls. Happy 6th.

[CherokeeGirl]

Thanks Karen, I for one just love it when the author (you) responds to our posts!. :)

[AlphaDragon]

Let me be the...10th­?

Fantastic Post Karen! I loved reading it.

[YesWeCanada]

Great read!!!

[medium]

Very well-written and insightful! Keep up the good work.

[pakaal]

They celebrate July 4 by complaining. I celebrate EVERY day knowing we're safe because they no longer hold the Oval Office and Congress.

[sjones66]

wow. Your post was excellent. Exactly how I feel.

[LMPE]

We should have let the South stay a separate country. That way, all the ignorant racists would have gotten stuck in their backwards society, and it would have soon collapsed. Meanwhile, the United States would have significantly advanced.

Anyway, the people at these rallies just make themselves sound stupider each time they open their mouths. Their combined IQ probably equals that of a flea.

[bluedoctor]

A lot of people in the south aren't racists and some people in the north are. Racism isn't strictly regional. Maybe you leave the city once in a while.

[Eyeheartfreedumb]

Yeah, but Bush would have bombed the heck out of NYC and Washington D.C.

[slowtono]

But maybe it's time now to split. You know those who only think about sex partners. Those who want the government to take 70% of all earnings and care for them. And those who want to be left alone to work raise a family, give thanks to God and keep what they build and earn.

[JesustheLiberal]

HuffPost's Pick

We wont miss your kind.

If you think about it, all the hatred in politics is ginned up by the rights perceived notion that their beliefs are suppressed when in actuality they want to impose their beliefs on to others through government intervention.

So when the middle and left, rightfully so, try to fight off these advances that the hard right religious nuts try to impose on the country, they complain that they are being persecuted. It is always 'we are right, you are wrong' with these people regardless of electorial outcomes.

When republicans win its considered democracy but when democrats take the whitehouse they consider it a mistake by the country. That just shows you how little respect they have for The Constitution and american democracy in action.

I would be happy if you wanted to combine the 6-8 really redneck states and go it alone. But just remember slowtono, when there are no liberals and muslims and gays to take your anger out on, how long do you think it will be before you are turning on each other just out of sheer need to attack someone? I give ya a solid year before you're eating your own.

[itsmekim]

JtL, you're my hero... what a great reply. They got to have them an enemy, an "other", or else how could they be special? And Karen, excellant post.

[lmnop13]

Favorited, JesustheLiberal.
Excellent post.

[PhilipB]

Brilliant, Karen