July Is Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Recently, my husband Jon and I decided to take advantage of some miles we had and treat ourselves to a resort hotel on the Big Island of Hawaii. We were weary from work and the relentless stimulation of technology that accompanied it. Our plan was to spend a whole lot of time by the pool -- and very little talking on a cell phone, e-mailing or watching television.
By the second day, I could already feel myself getting into the rhythm of the islands as I sat ocean-side in the Jacuzzi, my head resting on a foam pillow, my hand holding a piña colada -- paradise found.
Like a scene out of a totally clichéd Hollywood movie, my eyes were closed and the sound of crashing waves washed over me. Then, a cell phone rang. The man next to me picked it up and began screaming at his stockbroker -- paradise lost.
My, how the times have changed. Remember the good old days when there was just a smoking or non-smoking section? Apparently, under the current umbrella of social correctness, you can't smoke at either pool (which I personally appreciate), but you can annoy your fellow vacationers -- at least one of them.
According to the ABC Web site, one ABC News "20/20" survey found that 87 percent of Americans said they have encountered people talking on cell phones in public places in a loud or annoying manner. Slightly less than 4 out of 10 often experience generally rude or disrespectful behavior, cursing, near-cursing or people interrupting conversations to use e-mail or cell phone.
Jacqueline Whitmore, author of "Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work" and President of The Protocol School of Palm Beach, Inc., has made a career of helping organizations and individuals master the finer points of business etiquette.
In 2002, she officially founded National Cell Phone Courtesy Month with the intent of making cell phone users more respectful of their surroundings.
"Wireless phones and other electronic devices have become so important to keeping people in touch with information they want and need," says Whitmore. "It's important to educate people about the proper way to use these devices so that they're still in touch, but not annoying those around them." According to Whitmore, wireless phone users can take these steps to avoid offending others:
1. Be all there. When you're in a meeting, performance, courtroom or other busy area, let calls go to voicemail to avoid a disruption. In some instances, turning your phone off may be the best solution.
2. Keep it private. Be aware of your surroundings and avoid discussing private or confidential information in public. You never know who may be in hearing range.
3. Keep your cool. Don't display anger during a public call. Conversations that are likely to be emotional should be held where they will not embarrass or intrude on others.
4. Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone's silent or vibration settings in public places such as business meetings, religious services, schools, restaurants, theaters or sporting events so that you do not disrupt your surroundings.
5. Avoid "cell yell." Remember to use your regular conversational tone when speaking on your wireless phone. People tend to speak more loudly than normal and often don't recognize how distracting they can be to others.
6. Follow the rules. Some places, such as hospitals or airplanes, restrict or prohibit the use of mobile phones, so adhere to posted signs and instructions. Some jurisdictions may also restrict mobile phone use in public places.
7. Excuse yourself. If you are expecting a call that can't be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.
8. Send a message. Use Text Messaging to send and receive messages without saying a single word.
9. Watch and listen discreetly. New multimedia applications such as streaming video and music are great ways to stay informed and access the latest entertainment. However, adjust the volume based on your surroundings in much the same way that you would adjust your ringer volume. Earphones are a great way to avoid distracting others in public areas.
10. Alert silently. When using your phone's walkie-talkie feature, send the person you're trying to reach a Call Alert before starting to speak. If you're around other people, turn off your phone's external speaker and use the vibration setting to minimize any disturbance and to respect your contact's privacy.
Please note that this article is copyrighted by Karen Leland. If you would like to reprint any or all of it on your blog or website you are welcome to do so, provided you give credit and a live link back to this posting.
Karen Leland is author of the recently released book Time Management In An Instant:60 Ways to Make the Most of Your Day. She is the co-founder of Sterling Consulting Group and its subsidiary Sterling Marketing Group. For questions, comments or to book Karen to speak at your next event, please e-mail kleland@scgtraining.com.
Follow Karen Leland on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Karenleland
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Right on...
This is a very annoying situation. Standing in line and having somebody yakking loudly on their phone is a special little hell.
I took on the cell phone etiquette matter head on once. I thanked a particularly obnoxious loudmouth rather loudly... told them that their cell phone was really cool and that sharing their entire daily agenda while standing in line for a coffee was the highlight of my morning... I noticed other around me nodding in agreement and so did this miscreant. Subsequent encounters were much quiter...
Most of us depend on cell phones rather extensively, they are issued with new jobs, they are critical for soccer moms and business folks and I wish that they would issue your list of rules with each phone.
If I am at dinner I set it on vibrate, check to see if its really important enough to violate a meal and then excuse myself to deal with it. Most of the time I set the priority and just ignore calls.
There is some aspect of obsession that can't let a call go and deal with it later...
Airports are the worst. I wish they would have cell phone-free zones for those of us who prefer to sit quietly and read a book between connections. People use their cell phones as entertainment to stave off boredom because they don't bother to bring reading material along. The worst was last summer when I sat next to a guy on the plane who talked loudly about nothing for 20 minutes with the phone a foot from my head, then refused to turn off his phone and stow it for takeoff. It took me and the guy on the other side to tell him to stop. He kept taking the phone out during the flight and turning it on and off just to show us who was boss. And we were in the emergency exit, where responsible adults are supposed to sit. Cell phones bring out the worst in people. I don't own one and I hope I never will.
Cell phones are just another form of chewing gum.
10 years ago when the cell phone phenominon was getting started, my servers would refuse to wait on a table while people were on their phones. They'd go back when all calls were finished.
They got tired of people putting a finger up to indicate that they'd be with them in a minute. People in the service industry don't have time to wait for people to decide when they want service.
I was 100% behind them.
I've had women go into labor and their water break in my restaurants, I had an exterminator die in the service area, people have had to be given the heimlich maneuver..
Thank you for this column!
I think the worst offenders are those who talk on their mobiles while in the bathroom. I've been known to ask people to take their conversation where their friends don't have to hear me urinating. I've had women actually get offended at that.
Why are people so attached to their cell phones? Because real human interaction is just too scary and fraught with potential disaster.
Unfortunately I am so broke that my phone is getting shut off.
Fortunately I am looking forward to no unwanted interruptions.
Besides ignoring common courtesy when on cell phones, people can also get a condition called "cell phone elbow". Watch this video about it on Citizens Report.com
http://www
I write an urban blog about manners and etiquette and love to find other posts and books about the subject.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
yousuckwhe
Rude public cell phone conversations are only a symptom of a much larger problem in this country: mainly, the fact that everyone acts as if they exist in some bubble that is seemingly isolated from public life. Maybe it's all Facebook and Twitter's fault for making us want to share every irrelevant detail of our pathetically self-serving lives, but I think that Americans have been rude for quite some time now.
It's nice having a list of rules to tell grown-adults how to live their lives, in such complete detail and all; but what we really need are television commercials and billboards telling us to think of others, rather than just only of ourselves for a change!!
Well said! I cannot understand why normal people think nothing of taking out their cell phones and start talking about intimate things in loud tones. I once stopped a young lady in a local Blockbusters who was arguing with her boyfriend over anal sex. I am not kidding! I grabbed her phone away from her and reminded her she was in public. She blushed looked around and ran out. Another time a lady was arguing with her husband over how much money they had in their checking account.
Please remember people, we do not want to hear about your sex life or personal finances. I would like to have lunch without hearing five loud conversations. As your mom may have said to you; Please use your inside voices.
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Dear Sarijj;
What I find interesting about so many of these comments is the various ways that people handle others talking about loud cell phone use in public. I think this might make a good next column!
Thanks.
I am with you there. Composure, restraint, etc are lost on most Americans. It seems like our culture celebrates the crass, the rude, the intrusive and it is particularly noticeable in the last generation of youngsters.
It is getting worse... The "Me" generation was led by the previous "Me" generation, ad infinitum. The idea of courtesy is becoming less emphasized. People don't know what appropriate is anymore. They can't regulate themselves and resent anyone else offering that they should.
And its everywhere. Its in the hordes of fat people that can't stop giving themselves the gift of take out food or eating out. Its in the credit card holders who can't stop giving themselves new things as they run up debt. Its in the cheating husbands and wives who can't stop giving themselves pleasures at another's expense... its everywhere. Failure to consume and to focus on getting more is the greatest American sin.
~~~6. Follow the rules. Some places, such as hospitals or airplanes, restrict or prohibit the use of mobile phones, so adhere to posted signs and instructions. Some jurisdictions may also restrict mobile phone use in public places.~~~
I work in a library. I am in the adult fiction building. I have signs everywhere in the room. Everywhere. There are signs from the entry into every room we have in the library. 'no cellphone use'......
How many times do you think that I had to ask people to either go outside or terminate the conversation immediately today? 14. The worst are the people who are sitting directly in front of the sign while they are on the computer and they answer their phone and start talking as loud as possible. How can someone sitting beside them, working on the computer, concentrate? They can't.
I am completely fed up with cellphone users and texters. How about trying to check out a book for someone and they text throughout the entire process. Half the time, I can't even get their card from them. SO..I set their books aside and go on to the next patron. Naturally they can't believe how they "got out of line"...
The head librarian refuses to deal with it and help the employees enforce the ban.
I bet you know that I don't own a cellphone and won't be getting one in this lifetime.
A good new use for library fines.... (and it will probably take that to get their attention)
As long as we're commenting with pet peeves. The one that peeves me it those airline passengers who THE MINUTE the plane touches the ground they whip out the cellphone EVEN BEFORE the cabin staff say you can, they can't wait 2 minutes to do it, and same when the plane takes off. And the other one (even thos it's been busted by that Mythbusters TV show) is folks using the cellphone when it's clearly marked NOT TO at the gas pump---there's probably still a good reason why that's posted....
This happens to be a pet peeve of mine and will guarantee a withering stare from me to offenders (not that it does any good, it just makes me feel better). Isn't this all just a matter of common sense? Have we become such a nation of idiots that we don't know when we are being rude to others anymore?
The pharmacy I work at has a "phone or pharmacy" policy - we WILL NOT wait on a customer who is talking on the phone. We don't even bother calling their names when meds are ready (unless the person waiting is clearly calling to check on the patient). We have large signs up, announcing this policy. When customers complain, we explain, calmly, patiently, that the accuracy of their prescription is too important , and when we have their full attention, we will give them ours.
Good for you! When I worked at a doctors office we had a similar policy. It was hard enough to get patient information without them having another conversation on a phone. We would wait until they were done.
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Dear Txkayrose;
I find that more and more businesses such as yours are instituting 'no cell phone' policies. What I find really interesting is that your policy is in place because you require the patients full attention. Image what happens when people are driving - especially without a head set.
None of the people currently being rude on cell phones are at all interested in moderating their behavior, so good luck with that. They think that rules only apply to other people.
It's amusing how people yammering on buses, for instance, may start out talking quietly, but a few sentences in, they have forgotten where they are and are talking loudly enough for the whole bus to hear.
Here is my rule of thumb for rudeness-- ask yourself, what if everyone was doing what you are doing at the same time? If the answer is chaos would ensue, then you are being rude. And it doesn't matter that you "have a good reason," or "areonly doing it this once." It is still RUDE!
Ahh... Wouldn't life be fun if everyone followed the rules? Until that day just do what I do and stare at these rude people until they move off.
Yup I"ve overheard a conversation and the person recited back their mobile phone number, I was very tempted to go to a pay phone and dial the number and tell the caller 'please think of your surroundings, I was in earshot of your conversation and I could be a stalker or rapist or some other kind of criminal, ya might think about it'.
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