Is it Worth It to Suck Up To God?

After my sexual assault a few years ago, I found myself thinking a lot about God. In the process. I've come to realize I'm more spiritual than I am religious.

What I mean by this: As far as praying to God goes, I'm more about looking inside for inner guidance -- tapping into our own abundantly powerful inner resources -- which, I suppose, is where some might say God does indeed reside.

Which reminds me of one of my favorite cartoons . . .

Two sock puppets are talking to each other. One sock puppet says to the other: "Sometimes I wonder if there is a hand."

I believe we are our own inner hand -- the godly power resides within each of us to create the lives we desire --no matter what the challenges!

That said, I also believe it doesn't matter where your "godly guidance" comes from -- deep inside you or high above. What does matter is that you take the time to seek it during times of trouble.

Indeed, studies show that people who are involved in religion report greater levels of happiness than those who are not religious.

In one study, 101 undergraduate students between ages 18 and 49 were given surveys to complete. Those scoring high in religious beliefs -- who went to church regularly, had a strong religious faith, and prayed often -- were the ones who scored the highest in happiness.

Personally, I think there are a lot of reasons why those religious people scored higher on the happiness meter -- and not all those reasons have to do with religion per se. Religious people are simply following major core practices of happy people. For example, one benefits from the guaranteed social support that can be found in a church, synagogue, or mosque. And this community is especially helpful for those struggling through a trauma or crisis.

Plus, religion can provide a sense of meaning and purpose. According to psychiatrist Ed Diener, having a belief in something bigger than yourself -- a sense of order amid all the chaos--is a vital ingredient to happiness.

You can find this meaning in religious prayer or a spiritual belief system. Or you can simply develop a personal life philosophy that inspires you to seek lessons and growth. The important thing is to take the time to seek out this meaning and purpose during challenging times.

That said, I gotta confess: It was hard for me to consider hiring a higher power during the challenging time following my sexual assault.

I kept thinking: If there is indeed a God, then where was he/she during my time of need? After all, I am a good person. So, why did this happen to me?

I also then wondered: Is there indeed some godly force out there logging all our good actions -- and all our good thoughts -- then giving away "God Coupons" so to speak - "A Bonus Reward Point System" to frequent Do-Gooders -- and Think-Gooders -- which could then later be cashed in for exciting "Life Upgrade Prizes"? If so, did this mean if I helped a little old lady -- or chose not to say "f***" - or resisted hurting someone - then God would give me "Extra Bonus Other Good Life Stuff?" And what if I did the opposite? Behaved badly? Thought badly? Would there be a cause and affect in my life as well?

And what about all the world's infinite suffering? Was there some cause and affect methodology behind all the world's madness? Could there be any appropriate reasoning behind all this world's incredible pain, endless violence and heart-wrenching injustice?

My ruminations led me to discover the German philosopher Gottfried Leibniz - who shared many interesting perspectives about God. One of his more provocative proclamations: "God is an underachiever."

Throughout all Leibniz's writings he--like so many of us--kept questioning how a God who was supposedly good could allow so much evil and suffering in our world!

In the end, Leibniz came to God's defense, theorizing that because God was all knowing, he/she could evaluate all the possibilities of various worlds. And so perhaps God chose the world we're in -- as bad as it might seem at times --because it offered up the least possible evil.

In other words: No matter how challenging your life might feel, it could have been a whole lot worse.

Personally, I thank Leibniz for this somewhat cheery rumination - and I must say, I found myself thinking a lot about this Leibniz perspective during my personally challenging time.

Rabbi Harold Kushner's view on why bad things might happen to good people also comforted me.

Kushner's overall belief: God could have controlled everything about our lives --the good and the bad. But then we'd merely be "Stepford Humans" -- and there'd be no fun in living at all! And no growth either, for that matter! And what else are we humans here for -- but to live and learn? Hence God granted us this fabulous perk called "free will" -- which also means we have a choice in how we cope with any suffering we are dealt in the process of all our "free will" living!

In my readings-up about God, I also discovered how early diety-believers would literally rejoice during their times of suffering - because they gratefully recognized how suffering forced them to look upwards - become fully conscious - think about their lives more deeply - and thereby appreciate what they had all the more.

In other words, instead of seeking to find the meaning behind the concept of suffering, we should all try to make sure our suffering becomes meaningful. Instead of asking God to remove our problems so that our lives might be happy - we must purposefully try to learn as much as we can - and thereby become happier due to our insights and growth.

One universal good thing to come from bad things: the gift of empathy! Suffering imparts on all of us humans an informed sense of empathic understanding -- which then helps us to better connect with one another. Think about it. Without bad experiences, none of us could ever fully relate to each other. And we all so greatly desire to connect.

In the midst of bouncing back from a challenging time? Check out THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK - recommended by Deepak Chopra, Anthony Robbins, and A.J. Jacobs...and then some.

Comments

[johncomic]

Rabbi Kushner also posited a notion that I've found very helpful over the last few years:

basically, he said that, faced with the evidence of the world being how it is, God is either not all-good or not all-powerful... and he opted to believe in "not all-powerful". So, maybe God allowed something to happen because He wasn't able to stop it. He has limits which we don't necessarily understand.

This works for me. My church would disown me for saying so (if they hadn't already disowned me long ago). But it's all part of a nifty analogy I'm developing which is too long to go into here...

[yaddayadda]

For anyone who's wrestling with the "Why did God allow this?" question, I highly recommend the book The Shack by William Young. It's a story about a man who spends a weekend with God.

"Religious" people probably won't care for it, as it blasts a few holes in the traditional view of God. However, I think this fictional story probably comes much closer to what God is really like than what the historical church has presented.

[mbaty]

I hear so many people on this blog saying, "there is no hand." Ultimately, though, it doesn't matter what you believe, so long as your beliefs serve you. It's too bad that the word, "God" has been so misused and cluttered with ridiculous mental ideas.

[recless]

Charles Manson's beliefs served him. Is that what you are really saying?

[Patricia Handschiegel - Huffpost Blogger]

I believe it's about having a relationship with God, that it isn't performance based but whether or not you make the effort to have that relationship. God is honestly in my life every day, nearly all the time, and I have to be honest, I haven't gone to church in many years. He knows I don't like it. I find Him and engage in my faith in other ways. That's the thing I think people don't realize - it's intended to be between you and Him, and what that looks like or is for every person is supposed to be different and unique because we are all different and unique. But, I don't believe it requires anybody to suck up to Him. He already knew what you were going to do every minute of your life, good or bad, and stuck around regardless because that's what love is. It all depends on whether or not you want to give that back.

[Dap]

God is just a human emotion, locked inside the psyche of a human being because of the Human condition and perpetuated by those that are illusional and those that seek control of others.

Dear Ms. Salmansohn,

I enjoyed your essay/post, but still claim the above as fact. There is absolutely nothing lost to anyone by understanding that fact. We all grow and overcome (as best we can) under any and all conditions life throws at us. Truth be told there are many reasons that the "God Paradigm" not only fails us, but is quite harmful. Letting go of such antiquated thought processes opens one up greater awareness, not less. Agape (Love in fellowship of our shared fragile Humanity)

[KillgoreTrout43]

My answer to the headline/question is this; it's never worth it to "suck up," to anyone. Especially God. Sucking up is a cowardly act, and it is said that God will not suffer a coward. Be yourself, be the best you, you can be. The need to "suck up," will quickly vanish.

[transendentilist]

I firmly believe in the restorative powers of believing in something greater than ourselves. It doesn't have to be something as magnificent as an all seeing all knowing "God." A person's family is something greater than any one of it's members. Nature is God, to me. We are Nature. Just as much as the beasts in the forest and fish in the sea.
I see God as a force, not a "being." I believe in Karma, or the simplified street version, "What comes around, goes around." The universe is receptive to all our actions, good and bad. (I dislike those terms, but for lack of better ones in this short space, I'll use them.
I don't fully understand evil, especially on such a scale as a Hitler or a Stalin...et al. Maybe a misdirection of Nature's power.
But I do know that when we live according to Natural laws, and not man-made laws (which would be an extension of Natural law) we can be much happier and realize a fuller life. Simplicity is very under-rated. people who constantly chase money and security have clenched hearts and callous souls. They don't take the time to appreciate the millions of simplistic aspects of life.

[recless]

“Indeed, studies show that people who are involved in religion report greater levels of happiness than those who are not religious.”
Even if you accept that these studies are factual, so what? The fact that people are happier believing in god(s) is not evidence of the actual existence of god(s).

“In the end, Leibniz came to God's defense, theorizing that because God was all knowing, he/she could evaluate all the possibilities of various worlds. And so perhaps God chose the world we're in -- as bad as it might seem at times --because it offered up the least possible evil.”
If this is true, god(s) cannot be all powerful, as an all powerful god(s) could create a better world. If they can’t… they are not all powerful.

The problem of evil stumps even the best theologians and apologists. This is because it is a logical impasse. In any case, some things that people need to remember:
1. Faith is not evidence.
2. Testimonial is not evidence of god(s), it is only evidence of the believer’s belief.
3. Religion can just as easily lead people to do evil as good. One should ask, was the author’s attacker a believer? Non-believers account for less than 1% of the prison population. Wonder why that is…

[Lauren Cahn - Huffpost Blogger]

Unfortunately, suffering imparts empathy only to those inclined to it anyway. I can think of people who suffered terrible losses, grievous trauma, and didn't change one bit. Others (like myself, heh..:)) took it as an opportunity to examine their lives. Some are lucky enough to survive their suffering. Some are not. I hate to think that there is anything positive about being the victim (sorry) of a sexual assault or, in my case, a breast cancer survivor. But there is something positive, I think, and that is that we lived to tell about it, to learn from it. We got a second chance, at something.

[OtayPanky]

Lauren Cahn: Unfortunately, suffering imparts empathy only to those inclined to it anyway.

===

I'd say that's an overly bleak view.

There are plenty of folks who start out low in the empathy department, but then open up to life, the universe and everything after taking one or more bad beatings from life.

And then, of course, there are the intractables. In myv view of the world, they'll get more chances in some other life.

[mamacat]

Dear Lauren,

Whatever enables us to feel empathy, it seems to me that it is as likely to be good things done for us as it is suffering that we go through. Maybe it is something we learn from our parents and family. Unfortuneately some people are scarred by their suffering. I think that you already see this, or you would not have posted your addendum. Anyway, there are a lot of people in desperate pschological straits, and for them too much suffering may be harmful.

Nevertheless, may I say that your emphasising empathy as a postive phenomenon strikes a chord with me. I happen to believe that it is one of the finest of human abilities, to put ourselves in someone elses shoes.

[timepants]

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." - George Bernard Shaw

[RobinSeattle]

There is no God. And the one that is described in the Bible is one neurotic, meglomaniacal SOB. it's all just fairy tales geared to controlling and shaking down the gapejawed masses.. You ought to read "Escape from Freedom" by Erich Fromm sometime and you would find out why people tend to get caught up in that crap.

You also ought to read Volataire's "Candide," where he ruthlessly lampoons Leibniz.

The actual secret to life is that you make the best of it you can and then you become worm food. That may not be very reassuring, but it is realistic in a cold eyed rational way and it inherently urges one to savor as much of your time on the planet as you can. .

[OtayPanky]

RobinSeattle: There is no God.

===

There's no God in YOUR universe, Robin. That's pretty much all you can reliably say on the subject.

[ShawnMichel]

Very nicely said.

[recless]

It would be better if they had said there almost certainly is not a god(s). That would be more accurate and more in line with atheism.

However, are you really so brain-screwed by religious nonsense as to think that their universe and your universe are any different?

[OtayPanky]

One of the distinguishing characteristics of our species is our capacity and penchant for making meaning out of experience.

And of course, the most difficult experiences compel us the most strongly to find the most meaning we can.

Viktor Frankl, one of the great minds of the 20th Century, a survivor of the Holocaust and a psychiatrist trained by Freud, started a whole new school of therapy based on that single idea. MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING is considered by many one of the 10 great books of the 20th century.

That's the universal. But the particular is that we each make our own meaning in our own way...and there's no accounting for taste, really.

[Furby]

OtayPanky, that was so insightful I think it's safe to say you don't belong here. Drop by anytime, you're a breath of fresh air.

[OtayPanky]

It's a worthwhile ready Furby - very short - but it packs a punch that will stay with you for the rest of your life, no matter what your world view might be.

[mamacat]

I was reading Her Good Book, and the thing that strikes me as most important is that She wants us to be kind to one another. If that is sucking up, so be it.

[bethinCary]

I believe God gave us freewill because He/She wanted us to CONSCIOUSLY choose His/HER way...
After all,who wants to have someone be FORCED or MANIPULATED to be their friend?
If we are like God-then surely God would not want the forced approach either...
Companionship is what God created us for...and He wanted us to actually seek/want such a relation.

I try to say thanks throughout my day to God..
I have trouble with prayer--and instead just like to have a conversation in my mind as I would with a close friend- just talking about things in my head/emoti­ons/ideas.­-these and other things I try to make a concerted effort to offer up.
When I do so-it's as though I can literally feel burdens and emotions being lifted from my shoulders.
I guess people think your only supposed to offer the good up--I offer the bad just as often..
It helps.
I'm trying to be more cognizant of the "law of One" Buddhist mentality of everything being connected and seeing God not only in others, but in self also (It's not an easy concept to grasp though)..to respect others viewpoint--but stay true to my own...
It's a tricky language barrier-but the intent should be to enlighten both to bring about positive/creative flow to others..

[darthdarcy]

Jesus is said to have said:

"The Kingdom of Heaven is within, and around you..."

God is all around us
Everywhere you are
In the air you breath
The shining of a star

The drops of dew that gather
On an early morning bloom
the wind that fills your sails
An in your lonely room

God is all around us
I every grain of sand
Every cactus flower
Every woman every man

God is all around us
On the land and on the sea
God's with you as you're dying
God's here right now with me

God is all around us
We've never been apart
He's the smallest atom
An every cell of your heart

Without Him there is nothing
Not space or dust or light
Or clamor of the city
Or calmness of the night

God is all around us
Sweet mystery revealed
Every criminals redemption
Every cripple healed

God is all around us
An transcends space and time
Without God there's no matter
Gravity or rhyme

God is all around us
It's as simple as this song
A bit of metaphysics
I hope it didn't take too long

Use by permission by TJ aka darth darcy

copyrighted 4/23/ 2008...