Quiz: Are You In Lust Or Love?

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Throughout the ages, there's been one question that's consistently stumped the wisest of gurus and prophets -- and at times even Oprah.

How do you know when its lofty love -- or its wily doppleganger lust?

You must always keep in mind that some people are slooooooower to fall in love -- and/or they're wrestling with that infamous of fears: FEAR OF COMMITMENT. Meaning? Even if you sense you're experiencing mere lust, there's a chance that lust is simply how you/your partner start off feeling most "safe" connecting; but if you/they are truly working on fixing/nixing commitment issues, you/they might eventually cross over to the love side. Meaning? Before you break up, it's essential you take quality time to share a gut-honest conversation, talking about your values, needs, and fears. If you/your partner is just fearful of commitment, chances are what's scaring you/them is the concept of "relationship eternity." Relax and just take the relationship "one week at a time." And be sure to keep in mind a little love advice from Aristotle, who said : "Love is a slow-ripening fruit." Don't pluck the fruits of your relationship too hastily from the vine, just because the relationship is not ripening as quickly as you want!

For more free love tips visit www.notsalmon.com.

Plus check out ENOUGH DAMMIT.

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Comments

[Jonahson]

07:16 PM on 12/29/2008

Lust is not love. Craving for sex yes, love for sex yes but love is not sex .
Americans have corroupted many English words and 'love' is one of them.
A mother love her children. A wife's love for her husband and vice versa. Another example; suppose one of the spouse has terminal cancer and the other spouse take care of the sick one even though they no longer can have sex isn't that love?

[TOOO]

11:11 PM on 12/28/2008

What was it pat Benatar once sang? "Love is a battlefield."

And, sadly, sex is a weapon.

[alwaysthere]

10:00 PM on 12/28/2008

down from the heavens love to inspire
but up from the earth
marriage to acquire
and while the one demands the absolute truth
I'm afraid the other
Is far to often
but a liar

somehow lust was my purity

[alwaysthere]

09:57 PM on 12/28/2008

lust can be delicious when it's tasteful

[Theda]

11:16 PM on 12/28/2008

I'll take a little lust right now!

[alwaysthere]

09:51 PM on 12/28/2008

most men live quite lives of deperation

And then there's Tony Bennet

[aweissnet]

07:45 PM on 12/28/2008

Romantic love doesn't exist. Hollywood has made enough on that dream. So has Disney.

It's _always_ lust. It's programmed on our DNA. Perpetuation of the species. We're just animals, ya know?

Hang around someone long enough who you like, and who becomes a friend, and it might become love. That rarely happens, cuz when lust dies, people want to toss it out the door.

[larry278]

04:34 PM on 12/28/2008

Very much off thread: Be grateful when lust turns into love.

[MarkInIrvine]

07:31 PM on 12/27/2008

"Love is an angel, disguised as lust", according to Bruce Springsteen. Works for me.

[Waihili]

02:28 PM on 12/27/2008

There's a wonderful little book, The Libido Compass, by sex educator Isa Magdalena. It's one of my favorite books about sex (and as a clinical sexologist, I have many...from Kinsey to Zilbergeld and then some!). I love this book because it's not your typical "love or lust" simplification. Magdalena instead validates the entire spectrum of human intimacy -- red lust, orange sensuality, yellow power exchanges, green heartfelt romance, blue communication, purple cosmic union, and white transcendent communion. Yes, it's somewhat chakra-esque and tantric, but Magdalena is both earthier and more practical as she says of the colors of the libido spectrum, "you want them all, you need them all."
Wouldn't it be nice if we became adept at playing the colors with our beloveds, in conducting our relationships with an appreciation of all the subtle gradations of love and sex?

[Anastasia]

03:30 PM on 12/28/2008

Way wonderful! Thanks for sharing the dets of this book. Interesting concept.

[cinemaven]

09:21 AM on 12/27/2008

Both, thankfully... and we've sustained both for 29 years. I don't think there's anything "mere" about lust, it's the fire that usually sparks love and with enough kindling, both can be maintained. (barely manages to avoid joking about hard wood kindling... whew)

[mamacat]

06:42 AM on 12/27/2008

Isn't lust Mother Nature's way of encouraging the survival of the species? On the other hand, with our numbers quickly approaching 7 billion, maybe it's time for Mother Nature to change the rules.

[peterg76]

05:12 PM on 12/26/2008

People who *want* to distinguish love and lust do not have difficulty doing so.

[OtayPanky]

09:09 PM on 12/26/2008

If you insist on telling the truth, we're going to have to ask you to leave.

[peoplepower1776]

04:17 PM on 12/26/2008

If you treat women the way you'd want them to treat you, you'll do fine. We're human. Oh, and by the way, men don't have a monopoly on lust.

[OtayPanky]

04:11 PM on 12/26/2008

I've often pondered what makes people write quizzes for others to take.

It's pretty bizarre behavior, if you think about it.

[Tamoomoo]

02:28 AM on 12/27/2008

They're usually psychologists, trained in personality theory and psychometrics. It's actually a really interesting thing to study. A great deal of statistical analysis comes out of the results, and you can use some of the really good tests to predict patterns of future behavior.

[ofcoursejesusisblack]

03:43 PM on 12/27/2008

I love taking them!

[ThinkCreeps]

11:54 PM on 12/28/2008

Are you sure it's not just lust?

[Sternwood]

12:41 PM on 12/26/2008

I'm not sure I agree with a premise on which this article is based. The truth, as it appears to me, seems to be that love and lust are just flipsides of the same coin. As much as we hate to admit it, us men folk have been in an almost continual state of lust. Right now as I write this, I am thinking about women. Latter today, when I go to class, I will be thinking about women. Tonight when I'm trying to get to sleep, I will be thinking about women. The fact that I am almost always thinking about doing things with women, that would make most girls blush, is the only reason I have the nerve to approach any of them any way. Women have the distinct advantage of being able to read men, where a woman to a man is a riddle rapped in an enigma and suspended, very tastefully, in a paradox.