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Karen Salmansohn Headshot

The 1-Minute Therapist

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The other morning I was driving to work with my boyfriend, when to the right of our car, we saw a Drake's Delivery Truck, painted with images of dancing pastries - including the infamous Drake's Coffee Cake.

My boyfriend holds up his coffee-to-go cup, and challenges, "Hey, Karen, why don't you ask the driver for a Drake's coffee cake for our coffees?"

Since I literally wrote the book on "Ballsy" (yes a book literally called: Ballsy: 99 Ways To Score Extreme Success) I decide to do just that.

I roll down my window -- get the truck driver's attention -- point to my coffee-to-go cup, and shout, "Hey! Can you spare two coffee cakes for our coffees in here?"

The driver smiles and nods affirmatively.

He reaches over to his right, retrieves 2 coffee cakes, and defenestrates them at us.

(PERSONAL SIDE NOTE: Wow. I'm so happy I finally got to use that word "defenestrate" in my writing. I remember memorizing this word waaaay back when studying for my S.A.T.'s - and reading this recommended vocab word meant "to throw through a window." Immediately I wondered, "When the heck am I ever going to use THAT bizarre word?" Cut to 20
odd years later, on an odd morning...and voila: "Coffee Cake Defenestration occurs!)

With our coffee cakes in one hand, my beau and I wave a large appreciation "thanks" to the driver with our other free hands.

The driver beamed merrily.

Indeed all around us -- everyone in cars within a nearby Coffee Cake Defenestration radius was smiling joyously.

In talking about this a bit with my boyfriend, I realized that ballsy actions tend to create happy emotions. When you risk and do things outside your norm, you tend to feel more
alive -- more liberated - and this leads to more happiness in general.

If I look back at the aftermath of the many ballsy things I've done -- in my career -- and dating life -- I can absolutely remember feeling that adrenaline rush of glee coursing through my veins each time. But this success formula is NOT simply a one-way thing where...

Ballsiness = Happiness

It also goes the other way around....

Happiness = Ballsiness

For example, this morning I was already in a happy state of mind driving to work with my beau -- which got me feeling feisty, frisky -- ballsy!

And if I look back at my state of mind BEFORE I did the various ballsy actions in my life, I also remember being in a happy/feisty/frisky mood.

The life lesson here? The happier you are -- the ballsier you will be.

Indeed...in my career coaching I'm always recommending people try to do what they can to be overall happy people FIRST AND FOREMOST, if they want to score extreme success. I say: Money doesn't bring you happiness. But happiness brings you money.

The happier you are, the more energy you have to jump over obstacles
-- and the more ballsiness you have to take those leaps.

With this in mind, here's an important CAREER TIP FROM MY BOOK BALLSY:

"Consciously focus on the FUN - and NOT the fear!" Today...if you ARE feeling afraid to make a risky move, rile yourself into a fun frame of mind first. Force yourself to focus on the FUN of the action -- and NOT the fear of the action -- and do that ballsy thing you know you want to do! You'll literally be HAPPY you did!