The Dangers Of Anger

Tatum O'Neal. Britney Spears. Lindsay Lohan. Your dear sweet Aunt Mamie. Why do so many substance abusers keep getting sucked back into their addictions -- just when you think they've bounced back for good? According to psychologists at the University of Wisconsin, it's because
these folks never deal with the original core substance responsible for their substance abuse - a little substance called anger. In fact, University of Wisconsin psychologists have even gone so far as to label "anger" as the number-one trigger for abuse of all drugs and alcohol. And they've developed a method -- called "Forgiveness Therapy" -- to help patients find ways to release the rage that is at the root of their addiction.

Guess what?

Their "Forgiveness Therapy Program" is working. Big-time.

In one University of Wisconsin study, 14 patients with drug and alcohol dependence were randomly assigned either a twice-weekly forgiveness therapy session or routine drug/alcohol therapy treatment. The participants in forgiveness therapy not only showed significantly more improvement than those who only did routine drug/alcohol treatment - they also experienced
less recidivism.

In a way, anger is a boomerang -- so much so that we could rename it "boomeranger." If you're feeling rage, resentment, and bitterness at specific people -- or the universe at large -- sure enough this rage, resentment, and bitterness will come boomeranging back at you in a variety of forms, including depression, physical illness, and/or the self-inflicted anger of substance abuse.
Carrie Fisher said it well when she said: "Resentment is the poison you swallow hoping the other person will die."

Hence it's essential to learn how to release your hostility in a healthy way on a regular basis - which many people don't know how to do. Unfortunately, women in particular as a group seem to be especially uncomfortable healthfully feeling and expressing their anger because anger is not deemed a particularly feminine emotion.

I confess that after my sexual assault a few years back, I did not allow myself to honestly feel and express my anger. In fact, I was always surprised when people kept saying to me: "You must be so pissed off at that assaulter."

But as far as I could tell, I didn't feel angry. I did however feel very, very hungry. In particular I had this never-ending hunger for chocolate. So much so, I gained 12 pounds after the assault - which is a lot of weight on my five foot three frame.

I've never been into drugs or alcohol. Not even in college. And so for me I guess it was more natural to make chocolate my drug of choice. And abuse this drug I surely did. On some days I'd gobble up to four bars.

Often I'd find myself muttering -- in a kind of mock-voiceover: "Behind the scenes of the self-help book author . . ." as I peeled off another chocolate wrapper.

Having read this University of Wisconsin report, it's now quite obvious.

My urge to devour chocolate was my way of acting out my anger -- raging at myself and my thighs -- instead of at my assaulter's kneecaps. Because I didn't feel comfortable choosing "fight" as my anger release, I chose "flight" - escaping into a chocolate abuse problem so I didn't have to feel the anger I did not want to feel.

Sure enough, as I became more at peace inside about the ordeal I'd been through, literally forgiving the assaulter in a cathartic letter which I wrote but never sent, my urge to devour chocolate eventually vanished. Considering this major correlation between anger and substance abuse, I find it interesting that so many childhood stars have addiction problems.

Where might their rage be springing forth from? Perhaps they're angry that their childhoods were taken away from them -- being forced to live adult lives so prematurely? Or perhaps on a subconscious level they feel taken advantage of by their adult handlers - and as children they're
not able to fully process and express their dark emotions? Or perhaps they're angry that they can never fully trust the motives for the love they receive from others - and as children they simply want true love-ya-for-yourself love?

Interestingly enough, childhood star Drew Barrymore once had a substance abuse problem - which she's been long fully recovered from. Nowadays Drew positively radiates joy and buoyancy -- representing further support of U of W's study results -- as Drew's happy nature seems to be all about forgiveness and letting go of past resentments.

When you take the time to think about the dangers of anger, it becomes more and more clear that holding onto anger is not only the number one trigger behind substance abuse problems, but pretty much all of our world's unhappiness. How much happier and emotionally healthier we'd all be if we cleared away our daily resentments -- both large and petty -- at the
speed of life before they amassed too greatly in our heads and hearts.

Know someone who's dealing with substance abuse problems who you'd like to help bounce back? Visit Karen Salmansohn at www.notsalmon.com for more bounce back resiliency psychology tips from her new book THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK.

Comments

[walk0nwalls]

Negative reinforcement loops, don't I know them so well.

It's why I avoid all drugs and alcohol and gambling because i know I get suckered into that stuff.

[LordMoon]

This is too much of a sweeping generalization. Anyone who understands addictions understands, that it's a one day at a time thing.

Every addict is an addict for life, and is only a heart beat away from a relapse no matter how much recovery they've got.

Do addicts some times have issues of anger? Of course...

Do non addicts some times have inssues of anger? Of course..

Maybe these psychologists we be better off if they would study something most addicts generally understand already, that under anger there is "hurt", a seed of hurt and pain, and that sometimes anger is the only way to protect yourself from being hurt more..

In that respect it can sometimes be healthy.

[mamacat]

Very enlightening article. Thank you.

Regarding Drew Barrymore (who I very much like as an actress), you have guessed that she follows your model, but, has anyone talked to her about how she kicked her substance abuse problem?

I feel like your article should be sent to everyone with a drug problem.

[TomR]

----
Interestingly enough, childhood star Drew Barrymore once had a substance abuse problem - which she's been long fully recovered from.
----

My understanding is addicts never fully recover, but can stay in a state of recovering. Look at Robin Williams. He was sober 20 years and fell off the wagon. The reason for this is their brain chemistry has been permanently altered.

- Tom

[Nebris]

Like any powerful substance, Anger must be handled with care. Some cannot handle it at all.

But we must not toss it away completely. Anger can be a great motivator, too. Remember what The Terminator said, "Anger is a more useful emotion than despair".

However, before we can deal with external anger, we must resolve the anger we have toward ourselves.

[doctorwang]

"It's better to be pissed off than pissed on" - A.A.Milne (from "Winnie the Pooh II - Eeyore's Revenge").

[Theda]

People with borderline personality order are ALWAYS angry and pissed off at the world. They don't know HOW to forgive, nor do they want to. They hold onto resentments because hating and blaming other people gives sick but enjoyable meaning to their lives.

[martymartymarty]

Who said anything about "Borderline Personality Disorder"? Aside from your sweeping generalization of its traits, are you implying that the subjects of the article are then Borderline themselves? Just asking, 'cos otherwise it seems very non sequitur...

[sparafucilli]

My vote for number 1 posting of the week.

[S1m0n]

This breakthough was made sixty-plus years ago by the founders of Alcoholics anonymous.

[wilhelmR]

Then you get "addicted" forever to AA, linked to "your mentor" as if he were Jesus. AA has become the Cult of choice in America.

[jukesgrrl]

If it's such a cult, then why is one of its primary mottos, "Take what you like and leave the rest"? And why are the 12 steps of the program called "suggested steps" most places I've been?

I've never known an AAer who followed the program exactly as any other AAer does (other than choosing to obey "don't take the first drink") and I know very, very few members who have the same sponsor (in my part of the country they're called "sponsors" not "mentors") they started out with. I have to admit, most of us do admire our sponsors and respect them. But compare them to Jesus ... if you only knew what some of them are like ... I don't think so!

Also, Steps 8, 9, and 10 of the program ("Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.") very much and very actively address the anger issue this blog is discussing. Many drink because of anger, just as Ms. Salmansohn discusses her use of food. The Twelve Steps address that. Yes, I can still be very angry. At George Bush, for instance. But I don't have to drink over it today. For that I thank AA. If it's a cult, so be it.

related to this

[OtayPanky]

I'm not a 12 stepper, so I don't have a dog in this fight - but let's be honest and admit that human beings can screw up anything - marriage, government, blogs - you name it, we can make a mess of it.

Let's be honest enough to admit that there are plenty of people who've used AA (and related programs) to find a path to sanity. Let's not discount them just because AA addiction and abuse is just as possible as any other sort.

[OtayPanky]

Actually, it was a lot earlier than that.

If you read the history of AA, it was founded by two drunks who encountered The Oxford Movement, a Christian evangelical movement of the day. As they grew in numbers from their humble beginnings, they opted to genercize and secularize the explicitly Christian principles and message that had worked for them.

And the "breakthrough" goes back even farther than that. Five hundred years before Christ, Buddha taught the same principles.

But every generation - and every person - needs to rediscover universal truth for him or herself in a language he or she can understand and relate to.

[S1m0n]

"Actually, it was a lot earlier than that."

I'll buy that. Under the special effects and mythology, the practical cores of nearly every human religion are extremely similar, and very like the 12 steps.

[johnqsittinzen]

though I prefer e.e. cummings take on it...

let it go--the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise--let it go it
was sworn to
go

let them go--the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers--you must let them go they
were born
to go

let all go--the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things--let all go
dear
so comes love

[johnqsittinzen]

And even earlier...

"Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil."

Psalm 37, 8

[PatA]

I am not into drugs or alcohol either and I did the "chocolate" war when I was married to a man who devalued me to the point of my almost losing my identity.
This man was so "nice" and "well thought of" in the community that asking any questions, voicing any concerns or outright challenging a situation, wasn't possible for me.
I was furious with him! Furious with the friends who drank his koolaid.
It became chocolate and coconut cakes for me.
I gained 20 lbs on a 5' frame. My blood pressure was up to 150/90.
We divorced. My weight and blood pressure dropped to normal and therapy taught me how I used the food as a drug to "stuff" my anger.
I work in a prison, I know of what we speak here.
I teach anger management.