To Hell With Random Acts of Kindness

Have I got your attention?

What I mean by the above: Try conscious acts of kindness with the people you already know and love!

One of the top secrets of happiness: developing heartfelt, loving, deep connections!

Here are the researched facts from Gallup:

* If you feel close to other people, you are four times as likely to feel good about yourself and life.

* People who claim to have five or more true friends with whom they can discuss important problems are 60% more likely to say that they are "very happy."

* People with a best-friend at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their work! However, unfortunately, only 30% of employees report having a best friend at work!

* People with at least three close friends at work were 46% more likely to be extremely satisfied with their job -- and 88% more likely to be satisfied with their lives!

What's interesting about these career statistics is that many companies actually discourage workplace camaraderie. In fact, nearly one-third of the 80,000 managers and leaders interviewed by Gallup agreed with the statement that "familiarity breeds contempt."

But according to Gallup researcher, Tom Rath, these foolish companies who feel this way are only harming themselves.

"When we asked people if they would rather have a best friend at work or a 10% pay raise, having a friend clearly won," says Rath. "Friendships are among the most fundamental of human needs."

Your assignment:

Today decide to do more conscious acts of kindness for the important people in your life: your paramour, platonic buddies, colleagues, assorted and sordid family members. Remember what you love about each individual, then call them or write them to share your admiration directly. Better yet, invite them out to a dinner of their favorite food group. When sharing a conversation, really share it. Avoid conversation interruptus. Let people finish their thoughts. In fact, from here-on-in decide you're going to listen 50% more. Truly listening is one of the best ways to spoil someone you care about. Fran Leibowitz joked, "The opposite of talking
isn't listening. It's waiting." Prove Fran wrong.

For more happiness boosting tips, sign up for Karen's "Be Happy Dammit"
newsletter at www.notsalmon.com.

Comments

[PhillyQuaker]

The hand of kindness picks up pain. Marcel Marceau

[THINKB4USPEAK]

It's pretty far from random with me. I am as nice with other people as I CAN be, until they cause me not to be, and then I'm not very kind at all. I suspect we are mostly the same in this regard, mostly.

[mbjesq]

our provocative title and reasonable point aside, there is tremendous interconnectedness to be felt by kindness to those you do not know. The problem, to my mind is the now-familiar term "random acts of kindness." It was born, as a rather cute turn-about on the phrase "random violence and senseless cruelty" to become the admonition to "Practice random acts of kindness and senseless beauty."

Are the acts of kindness, as urged by the popular phrase really random? Of course not. They are the product of an mindful approach to life, in which we are sufficiently aware of the needs and displeasures of those around us that we can respond -- willfully and thoughtfully -- with compassion. The circumstances which bring us into contact with those to whom we are kind may be beyond our control or intention (giving rise to the epithet "random"), but our behavior is significantly not accidental or a mere matter of happenstance, fate, or whimsy.

I would recommend readers to the game, called "Experiments in Anonymous Kindness" (nicknamed "Smile Cards" as shorthand), to see the astonishing lessons to be learned from directing one's compassion and altruism beyond the familiar boundaries of friends, relatives, and colleagues. The game is at www.helpothers.org and is described at http://memestreamblog.wordpress.com/2004/11/28/experiments-in-anonymous-kindness/.

[drblack]

Be kind to yourself as well as to others.

[Arithrianos]

I always hated that phrase. It should say practice acts of kindness randomly. You can't practice random acts of kindness, because kindness always requires a personal touch, which means not with random acts, but with meaningful, thoughtful acts, since what is kind to one might not be kind to another.

[Jaxxon]

Wonderful post. Thank God it's Friday!