The Change Candidate Needs to Change His Tone Towards Women

The first time Hillary Clinton ran a television ad complaining about Barack Obama's unwillingess to debate in Wisconsin, he fired back with an ad of his own about the 18 debates he's already participated in and the two more that are scheduled.

She wouldn't let it go; her subsequent ad speculated on whether he was reluctant because his health insurance care plan wasn't as good as hers.

At a televised campaign stop, someone asked him how he felt about the ad campaign. Obama, grave-faced and sympathetic in tone, opined that when Senator Clinton was 'feeling down,' she went on the attack to make herself feel better; that is, she committed an error in judgment because she was in a bad mood. That was the moment when I, and other women of a certain age, all over the country, winced.

The change candidate had embraced one of the oldest clichés in the book -- that women are held hostage by emotion, that we can't be trusted with the big decisions because, depending on our age, we're either on the rag or having a hot flash. The overtly sexist position used to be that you didn't want to entrust the red phone to a woman because women are unpredictable and irrational; a fit of hormonal pique and kaboom, we all glow in the radioactive dark. The ones who aren't instantly vaporized, that is.

The kinder, gentler version? A soft-spoken observation about what a female candidate does when she's "feeling down," the implication being that Hillary's distress over the delegate count had impaired her judgment, and that someone who loses her way like that is not strong enough to withstand the rigors of the presidency. If you think that I and the indignant gal friends I've polled are overreacting, try the acid test: Imagine any major candidate making that kind of subtle put-down about a man's psychological fortitude. In 1972, Thomas Eagleton had to have shock treatment to get us to raise a national eyebrow about his mental health, ending his brief tenure as George McGovern's running mate. Short of that, we tend to assume that the boys are steady enough to handle the job.

The interesting question is where the inspiration for the dig came from. If it was truly an off-the-cuff remark, then it's just gender-role business as usual, and the French, sadly, are right: The more things change, the more they remain the same. This might help to explain why women stick to Hillary; any woman who grew up in the transitional generation between Betty Crocker moms and Betty Friedan daughters has a special antenna for this kind of slight. We've heard it before, we know we're going to hear it again, and we'd just as soon hang with a smart girl who gets it, for all her flaws. As for the more highly educated women who poll for Obama, let's see how they feel when they find out he would think better of them if they were guys.

If it wasn't a spontaneous comment -- if someone in Senator Obama's camp thinks it's wise to use code to address and exploit our primitive fears about whether women can cope -- then whoever came up with it ought to be ashamed of himself, and the man who uttered it needs to rethink the strength of his opponent and her supporters. Beat her on better ideas, or oratory, beat her with passion and energy, but beat her fair and square, if you can. Don't talk about change and then quote from a 1950s playbook on the battle between the sexes.

Comments

[jojojo]

She voted to let Bush start the war, and has voted for the war ever since, and for political gain, in my opinion. End of story.

I voted for her twice for senator, but no more for the war-monger. I wonder how different her votes on the war are from McCain's?

Oh, and her campaign has been far more racist than Obama's has been sexist.

[janicen]

You voted for her twice for Senator, but now you say, "...no more for the war-monger­."? The second time you voted for her for Senator, was 2006, years after her controversial "Iraq vote" so, you were okay with the vote then?

[Didntdrinkthekoolaid]

OK, let's stop with the war vote crap.

Clinton did not take us to war, BO has voted exactly the same way as she has while in the Senate and they've stated they will do exactly the same thing about the war if elected.

Get a new arguing point, please.

[Justtellthetruth]

OK, forget Iraq for the moment. She virtually CAMPAIGNED for the war in Lebanon, Even after it became clear that it was a humanitarian and military disaster. She was on stage cheerleading as the Israeli Ambassador said wonderful things like "are we using disproportionate force? Hell yes we are!!" Israel now deems that war to have been an avoideable disaster, much like Iraq.

She spoke at AIPAC meetings and said that Iran was the greatest threat that the US and Israel face. She said NOTHING should be left off the table when dealing with them, presumably meaning war and even nuclear war, as many of the ultra right wing hawks that back her are calling for.

Of course, everyone now knows that when the entire US intelligence community said in unison that THERE IS NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS PROGRAM IN IRAN, It made hillary and her cohorts in the Bush administration look PRETTY damn silly.

She immediately dropped her Iran Fear mongering, and started Parroting Obama on something she had previously chided him for talking tough about, which is the REAL threat that Paksistans border region represents.

So, while we set aside her gaff in Iraq, we now see that she got Iran, Lebanon, and Pakistan wrong as well.

So I suppose you would say, well lets set her DISASTROUS foreign policy record aside for a moment and look at what she's done for health care. Perhaps you haven't noticed, but things have gotten A LOT worse since she utterly upended any possibility of any body else even approaching the subject since she BLEW it as first lady. It was a political disaster of epic proportions and is indicatice of the divisive and ineffectual style we could expect if we were ever daft enough to allow her near the white house in anything but a visiting capacity.

[TiredReader]

Some think Obama was in the U.S. Senate when the resolution was passed. Not true. How would he have voted? He can say he'd have said no, but the fact remains he wasn't there.

[madfeline]

Wow, left field for sure. I'm a female and I didn't wince. I thought it was a great retort.... I interpreted "down" as in delegate count, popular vote, and recent string of primary victories.

[loislane88]

Exactly. I really don't understand the feminist tactic to cry sexism at every turn. His "tone" was directed at the fact that every time she is down in numbers or polls, she rolls out an attack. Clear and simple.

I'm a strong, independent woman that holds feminist views, but whining every time a man says anything that can remotely be construed as sexist isn't helping us look strong.

[WireDolly]

I don't think Obama is anti-woman at all. He is married to a strong, intelligent woman and is the father of two daughters, all of whom we all know he respects and loves very much. He wants the best for them, not a shred of doubt in my mind.

But the article does make a valid point that IN GENERAL, women are STILL relegated to emotive/unreliable status, when in fact, every time a man gets a hard on, his brain is basically down his pants. Maybe a guy with a hard on (or one who has to take Viagra to get there like McCain) shouldn't be allowed near the red phone either. That man might indeed fuck us all.

[ACunningham]

Obama, by definition of being married to MICHELLE, can Not be sexist. She will kick anyone's butt ... including everyone in the Seriously Neurotic Billary Army!

[TiredReader]

I've read and re-read, and am still reading BO's books. He acknowledges taking his wife for granted, and says he has learned a lot.

I'm not so sure about that.

[Hawise]

Being married means that you cannot be sexist!??!?! What drug-induced wonderland do you live in?

[drlenamarie]

People are really grasping at straws to attack Obama. Stop creating something out of nothing. That comment had nothing to with the fact she is a woman.

[monirod]

No, those "people" who you are referring to happen to be experienced, adult women. I really would not expect you or your team of dilettantes to understand the significance or "code language" that Obama usesd. I also caught that one IMMEDIATELY and so did plenty of other women in San Antonio, TX. WooHoo, I get to vote for Hillary -- the brilliant, experienced wonk -- Yes, there is still a world where substance over image matters.
HILLARY '08

[AvasTiaJeanne]

Drlenamarie is right. I saw Obama when he made this comment, and within the context of that conversation, it was glaringly obvious to anyone with ANY sense that "when she's feeling down" referred to when her campaign was down...dow­n in the polls, down in momentum, etc.
It had nothing to do with her "feeling down" emotionally. Although, I wondered at the time he made that comment if people would try to miscontrue it, and sure enough, they did!

[djcny]

Sure, one can not say a negative word about Obama lest it be called racism but he gets carte blanche to say anything he wants about the Clintons without criticism. Well tough luck, if he can't take the heat he should get the hell out of the kitchen. You Obama supporters must know that he'll hear a LOT worse than that if he gets the nomination. Get used to it.

[TiredReader]

I think it had everything to do with gender. BO is naturally inclined that way, and he admits to it in his book.

[Staying1776course]

After reading this post, I recalled a conversation I had about 15 years ago when talking to a friend of my mother's (born before WW1) where I was saying that young women, except nurses, etc., couldn't apply for admittance to UNC-CH as a freshman before the '60s, but had to wait to transfer later.
She responded, "Well, NC has many good women's colleges." I think we women sometimes miss the coded language and how it plays upon the mind. This campaign season has me wincing often. Surely we women aren't missing blatant sexism, or misogyny, like my mother's friend.

[TishiJo]

From a strong feminist, the idea that Obama's comments were sexist - pure bull.

[gba]

What do define "feminist"?

[MikeMidCity]

Funny, if Hillary had been more resistant to pandering with her vote to authorize the use of force in Iraq she would have secured this nomination by now.

People are not rejecting Hillary Rodham Clinton because she is a woman.

People are rejecting Hilary Rodham Clinton because she voted for an immoral and unjustified war.

[research]

Agreed.

[drband36]

Absolutely, Mike.

Hillary runs "as a woman" when it suits her, using both positive and negative aspects (positive: asserting her strength and her status as "battle-tested"; negative: her manufactured tears-in-the-diner moment in NH).

Then she runs absolutely counter to her feminist creds and attacks Obama on his pro-choice record (despite the fact that he has 100% positive records from Planned Parenthood, NARAL, etc., she sent out misleading, false emails smearing him on this issue in New Hampshire, two days before the primaries here (i.e., she timed the mailing perfectly, so that there were no time to respond. Genius).

His lead in the NH polls evaporated, and she won NH by a whisker. Nicely done, Karl-Rove-­in-a-pants­uit. Shame on her for marginalizing true feminist values to try to make political hay out of falsehoods­...and shame on the National Org. for Women for continuing to stand behind her through it all.

Obama is not a woman --- but he's every it the feminist that Hillary is, and probably more.

Elise in NH
The Obama Minute: quick, easy actions to support Obama
http://www.obamastraws.blogspot.com

[truemikeh]

Obama's probable victory gives me a sense of dread. He inspires high hope in whites and cautious hope in blacks. We have been in the land of high hopes before--in 1968, when King and Kennedy were shot down. Hope crashed that night (and we endured hearing Jesse Jackson saying "Keep hope alive!" for 20 years afterward.­) My fear is that the mounting hopes of Americans who are increasingly desperate for change will come crashing down for the same reason it crashed before, and the despairing anger and rage that follows it will make the Sixties' riots seem a pleasant dream.

[petecook5]

This whole, "he's going to be assassinated like kennedy and MLK" is just ignorant.

But if something like that were to happen and people take to the streets...­I say "VIVA LA REVOLUCION!"

It's about time for a change, wouldn't you say?

[Incredulous]

That's right truemikeh! There is no hope. All hope is lost. Things can never get better. Might as well just give up. Lets all kill ourselves, or even worse, let's just keep electing Republicans. There is no hope. Hope is false. Oh woe is me. I think I'm going to eat some worms!

[UrbanInterloper]

This is such a non-issue it's ridiculous. If Obama must beat Clinton on policies, as you say, the opposite is true as well. Clinton has not earned your support if it is based on sexism towards her, real or perceived. She has won it based on sympathy and identity politics. Talk about things staying the same!

I'd vote for a raving sexist pig or purple-toed anteater if he or she would end the war in Iraq, prevent war with Iran, put an end to torture, and rescue our failing economy. The rest is all distraction.

[jojojo]

Just so.

Clinton's campaign has repeatedly, for months cynically used racism to further their goals. Either She endorsed it or, if she's against it, cannot control the message of her own campaign. Either way, not so good.

I voted for Bill twice and Hillary twice, but not after this disgusting display.

Not to mention her voting to allow Bush to start the war, followed by consistent votes to support that same war, all politically calculated in my opinion. Or if not calculated, then hopelessly naive or simple war-mongering.

I wonder how different her war votes are from McCain's.

[Flynnstone73]

I think both sides are getting a bit whacky and hyper-sensitive. The media and the right wing just love it. Clintons are racists and Obama is a sexist... yeah okay. What does that make the majority of the Republican Party...fa­scists? Hey wait a minute maybe I'm on to something here. Seriously, focus people what ever side wins we have to be ready for what the swift boating, Roveian repubs are going to throw at us. It's a political fight why is everyone surprised when the one who is on top at the moment is attacking the one that's down. It's instinctual they are both human after all, this idea that our leaders are somehow above it all, is just naive.

[BMSstudy]

If BO signled out Hillary as when "she (singularly) is down in the dumps..." how is that sexism. When did it become sexist to state your opinion of a single women? I guess if someone said that BO made an error or judgement or didn't think something through, that would be an example of racism?

Sometimes IS only means IS.

[Didntdrinkthekoolaid]

At first, although his remarks were clearly sexist, I couldn't blame him. After all, contrary to what his followers sometime believe, he's just a man.

But after hearing of the recent plagiarism charges, string of obviously staged fainting episodes at rallies and other related stories that are finally appearing.­..well, let's just say I can only conclude that everything he says has been carefully constructed to illicit a certain response.

Oh yes, this was meant to be degrading, albeit in subtle way.

[titi]

My God! What would you have written had Obama referred to John McCain as being a bit down? Would you have thought it was a put-down on men? I have fought for women's issues for over half a century, and have been at the front lines of a lot of marches. However, I do not see or hear what you see and hear re: Obama being anti-feminist. I hate to see that such an innocous few words have been flung out to left field. Is it possible to oppose Senator Clinton without being anti-feminist? Is it possible to oppose Senator Obama without being racist? When we as a society fail to be able to do so, we will find ourselves in a world of trouble. Femininism can be interpreted in a million ways, yet no definition should be so narrow as to exclude all others. Pray tell me what is it about Senator Obama's positions on issues that cause you to view him as anti-feminist? I have searched his position papers on all the issues and fail to find anything in them that smacks of anti-feminism. I would be happy to be enlightened on this issue.

[djcny]

"My God! What would you have written had Obama referred to John McCain as being a bit down? Would you have thought it was a put-down on men?"

He NEVER would have, that's the point of this article...­....read it!

[Truthortradition]

I was born in the deep south. Taught to hate blacks from birth. Took many, many years to overcome all the brainwashing. Decades later, when I was 40, I joined the ACLU. I fought hard for equal rights for blacks because I realized that if a company discriminated against blacks, it usually discriminated against women of all color, including myself. I even wept over Martin Luther King's death. I finally understood what he was fighting for---and what a great man he was.
In my lifetime, I earned 40 percent less than the man sitting next to me in the same job. I had more experience, more education, but no male genitals. No I'm not black, but I clearly understand the sting of discrimination.
However, watching how blacks have turned on Clinton I think I am now going full circle, back to my roots so to speak. It makes me so angry I see red and I might even vote that way if Obama beats her.

[jsinclair]

Its not blacks, it's a lot of women, too, who are disappointed with Clinton's campaign.

I think I expect her to be more progressive than she really is. But, more and more, Despite her saying how much she cares about the country, that she's running "so we don't go backwards", she's running such a divisive campaign that I just don't believe that's really her reason.

Honestly, I think she just wants to be the first female President, pure and simple. And she'll pretty much say anything she's told by handlers to say to make that happen.

Smart? Definitely. But she's never worked a job like most women, never lived the life that most of us have. I think her "35 years of experience (and privilege)" make her more and more unrelatable every day.

[Didntdrinkthekoolaid]

jsinclair, you're very right, it's not just blacks. In fact 13% of the population would have a very hard time pushing Obama without a lot of help.

But that doesn't mean that Truthoftradition's sentiment may not unfortunately become a growing trend.

I hope this doesn't prove to be a case of "be careful what you wish for".