The Change Candidate Needs to Change His Tone Towards Women
The first time Hillary Clinton ran a television ad complaining about Barack Obama's unwillingess to debate in Wisconsin, he fired back with an ad of his own about the 18 debates he's already participated in and the two more that are scheduled.
She wouldn't let it go; her subsequent ad speculated on whether he was reluctant because his health insurance care plan wasn't as good as hers.
At a televised campaign stop, someone asked him how he felt about the ad campaign. Obama, grave-faced and sympathetic in tone, opined that when Senator Clinton was 'feeling down,' she went on the attack to make herself feel better; that is, she committed an error in judgment because she was in a bad mood. That was the moment when I, and other women of a certain age, all over the country, winced.
The change candidate had embraced one of the oldest clichés in the book -- that women are held hostage by emotion, that we can't be trusted with the big decisions because, depending on our age, we're either on the rag or having a hot flash. The overtly sexist position used to be that you didn't want to entrust the red phone to a woman because women are unpredictable and irrational; a fit of hormonal pique and kaboom, we all glow in the radioactive dark. The ones who aren't instantly vaporized, that is.
The kinder, gentler version? A soft-spoken observation about what a female candidate does when she's "feeling down," the implication being that Hillary's distress over the delegate count had impaired her judgment, and that someone who loses her way like that is not strong enough to withstand the rigors of the presidency. If you think that I and the indignant gal friends I've polled are overreacting, try the acid test: Imagine any major candidate making that kind of subtle put-down about a man's psychological fortitude. In 1972, Thomas Eagleton had to have shock treatment to get us to raise a national eyebrow about his mental health, ending his brief tenure as George McGovern's running mate. Short of that, we tend to assume that the boys are steady enough to handle the job.
The interesting question is where the inspiration for the dig came from. If it was truly an off-the-cuff remark, then it's just gender-role business as usual, and the French, sadly, are right: The more things change, the more they remain the same. This might help to explain why women stick to Hillary; any woman who grew up in the transitional generation between Betty Crocker moms and Betty Friedan daughters has a special antenna for this kind of slight. We've heard it before, we know we're going to hear it again, and we'd just as soon hang with a smart girl who gets it, for all her flaws. As for the more highly educated women who poll for Obama, let's see how they feel when they find out he would think better of them if they were guys.
If it wasn't a spontaneous comment -- if someone in Senator Obama's camp thinks it's wise to use code to address and exploit our primitive fears about whether women can cope -- then whoever came up with it ought to be ashamed of himself, and the man who uttered it needs to rethink the strength of his opponent and her supporters. Beat her on better ideas, or oratory, beat her with passion and energy, but beat her fair and square, if you can. Don't talk about change and then quote from a 1950s playbook on the battle between the sexes.
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
Obama supporters, every time we mention sexism you bring up racism. Who exactly is playing the race card? Within a brief time we all need to be on the same side and your anger and contempt towards anyone who disagrees with you on the issues does not bode well for the future.
When Senator Obama went before an African American audience and spoke of Jesse Jackson and MLK and said "I need your help," he was making an appeal based on race. Former President Clinton was not being racist for noticing. It is not as if the entire country does not know that African Americans are overwhelmingly supporting Senator Obama. They have a win-win in this campaign so why wouldn't they want an African American to win the Presidency?
Yes, racism is still alive and well in this country, but it is not necessarily racist to recognize race as a political factor in this election. As for sexism, it is not only alive and well, it is apparently even politically correct.
soisam
Amen. Thank you soisam for reminding us of that not only Bill Clinton would never engage in political race-baiting, he's also been one of the most respectful supporters of women throughout his long and distinguished career!
Soisam, are you nuts or what. When all of the past White candidates from Geroge Washington on, went before White audiences asking for their vote can you say they were making an appeal based on race. When the Grand-Dragon of the KKK goes before his audience seeking their support he is also making an appeal based on race. Therefore, your point has no validity.
Amen sister, I don't understand why any woman would support the sexist Senator Obama. His use of terms like bringing out the claws is akin to misogynistic behavior that is akin to out and out racism. Too bad, that the media doesn’t pick up on it oh but they can't since it is virtually an all male society with a token female here and there.
When did Obama say "bringing out the claws", and how much is the Clinton Campaign paying you to post such defamatory remarks anyways?
Great points bookerone! And I can never understand why people don't pick up on the very word "media" -- duh? Named after one of the most tragic, patriarchal female figures in Greek drama?? Any chance that's why it's an all-boys' club? Think about it!
"Bringing out the claws" is a power and control statement made by men over the years when any woman dares to do what men have done for eons. They don't want to give up that power so they invalidate any statement by implying that she is Medusa. Such old behavior doesn't take a feminist to recognize it-Obama's no different and wouldn't do anything to support women. He can't, he's afraid of them.
I agree with Karen Stabiner --- when I heard Obama making this comment it really IRKED me.
Truth be told, however, we deserve better than either of these candidates ---
but Obama picked up a strike against him on this one and makes me question his entire attitude towards females.
It didn't 'irk' you that Hillary deliberately cried in public, in front of cameras on three occasions when she thought she was going to loose?
It didn't 'irk' you when she pulled that girl child response 'well that just hurts my feelings' in a debate???
It didn't 'irk' you that she has misplaced millions of campaign dollars?
It didn't 'irk' you when she tried to pull that 'mean man' routine in debates instead of standing toe to toe?
Obama's statement 'irked' you.
When obama compared himself to Martin Luther King, you don't think he was playing the race card?
Do you see Hillary comparing herself to any famous women in history who helped to free us from being sex slaves?
Sexism is alive and well in America while racism seems to be a dying disease. Mostly because the blacks have never stopped fighting, while women just sit back and hope for the best.
That's because, Jacee, all cameras RAPE. Think about it. They are nothing but voyeuristic tools of the patriarchy. Let's pull our heads out of the sand!
Grow up Jacee. You may have wanted to dispaly your dislike of Hillary but none of your quotes are pertinent to the discussion.
Yea, you're right. I think Obama hates all women, including his wife and two young daughters.
Funny thing about the truth is that it's still there even when no one is listening.
Kudos for stating the obvious anyway, Karen!
Um, I'm one of those women of a certain age who heard the comment and thought, not that he was discussing menopause or the menstrual cycle, but the fact the Clinton campaign turns on its Rove mode whenever they've done something so bone-headed that they want the spotlight turned off their own bone-headedness. So they make ridiculously ludicrous misstatements or outright lies about Obama. I agree wholeheartely with what Obama said in this case because, though he said it much more diplomatically than I, I essentially made the same comment to a friend.
I certainly hope you Clinton supporters will now stop insulting we women of a certain age by trying to drum up stupid reasons we should be insulted by Senator Obama because the end result is that we end up feeling insulted by your assumption that we are too stupid to think or reason for ourselves and by your insistence that we are traitors to our gender by not supporting the candidate for whom, by the tone of desperation in this post and elsewhere in her camp lately, you seem to think we should be forced to vote.
At age 64, I totally agree. Please my fellow women don't do this to ourselves. She does go Carl Rove on her campaign or at least lets her advisors do this negative stuff that is not needed. If anything it just reassures me that I am right to back Obama.
The comment that I heard Barack Obama make appeared to refer to Hillary Clinton's being down in the polls. The article by Stabiner appears to be right in line with the usual Clinton attacks and distortions. Next we'll be discussing what the meaning of "is" is.
Oh My Gawd, Obama mentioned emotion in the same sentence where he was talking about a woman. What a sexist pig!! Oh wait! wasn't this the same woman who had her emotional crying moment just before the big NH primary, and brought out lots of women voters. Tried it again before Super Tuesday but it didn't help. Okay for Hillary to be moody when she wants, but not okay for anyone to mention it at a time when she clearly has been very moody as plans for her coronation haven't worked out.
Point of clarification: Neither Clinton or Obama were my prefered candidates. However Obama will get my vote not because he's a man, but because as a working class Latino I feel more comfortable with him.
Just because Ms. Clinton is a woman does not make her progressive! Her continued support for Bush's illegal, immoral and unjustified war proves that.
Perhaps Ms. Sabiner, Clinton and their ilk should watch their tone towards people of color! We (African Americans & Latinos) do not have to put up with Clinton or any other white individual talking down to us! Those days are long gone!
EXACTLY!
I think his remark was in the same vein as hers when she said in one of the debates that the guys were attacking her because she was winning. Down in the numbers, not down in the dumps. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool feminist and I feel like we need to stop trying to be so PC.
Ms Stabiner,
I thought about your blog while doing some other work. lately there has been alot of talk about sexist comments in the dem elections. On both sides.
I've watched the two of them closely all year and I get the distinct impression the two of them do not care for one another. There is some bad blood there that shows everytime they are in close orbit with one another.
I'm pretty sure Mr. Obama winced after saying it. I'm sure she winced after she accused him of being a slum lord. I'm sure he bit his lip after he accused her of doing nothing while on the board of Wal-mart..
Mr. Obama is married to someone who would probably give him hell if he ever made the comment you dedicated your blog to. He worked with women during his early days as a community organizer and i doubt they would have tolerated that comment.
My synopis is that anyone in a flash of anger will say something they later regret...a
I'm just wondering, based on the slew of venomous comments below, whether it is possible to acknowledge support for one candidate without necessarily hating the other?
Isn't it a problem when we allege (rightly) a sexist comment and the conversation turns to sexism v. racism and "THE CLINTONS" v. Obama?
Invoking the idea that sexism still exists does not mean racism isn't an issue. Why are we pitting the two against each other? As a biracial woman, this makes the entire primary campaign confounding. I find myself having to acknowledge and defend with each opinion article.
Running in a primary is a mean spirited and dirty business. ALL candidates use ALL of their tools to make the opponents less appealing. The fact that BOTH candidates use racist/sexist remarks is more of a reflection on the American voter as a person swayed by those appeals than on the candidates and their political advisers.
Acknowledging that Senator Obama said something that was clearly sexist does not have to mean that he and everything he stands for is bad. (Although I have come to understand that it must mean that whoever says this has bought into whatever is "evil" about Senator Clinton.) Is it possible anymore to critique a candidate or call the candidate to task?
Why is America (and the Democratic Party) becoming so polarized? Why does everything have to be "if you aren't for us, you're against us"? Are we no longer able to recognize flaws? Is it always going to have to be Good v. Evil? Even among our own candidates? Is this what the Bush Doctrine has done to us?
Clinton/Obama or Obama/Clinton '08!
I can fight for my candidate and express my opinion on the issues but still support the Democratic nominee, whoever it is, in November.
Very well written article. Funny how one disparaging word against Obama makes you a racist (especially on this site), but sexism is fair game in the U.S. I would say shame on the men for their sexist attitudes, but women seem to be the worst at stabbing another woman, and doing so in sexist way.
Karen. I sit on two women's professional groups -- this is a load of B.S. and many people think so. It really is an attempt to derail Barack -- it's a weird, one to boot (Oh, and that's a term I got from a woman friend!)
Link:
http://zen
It does seem that way to me too. Astonishing.
Since Obama lived his formative years in Indonesia,a muslim country from 6 to 10, and with Muslim men, his stepfather, he is accustomed to seeing woman is a very submissive role, doing as they are told. I don't think they have much women lib stuff in muslin countries
You obviously know nothing about his mother.
She was an amazing woman who did extensive study on Indonesian street vendors and 3rd world poverty.
http://www
``She was a scholar who was one of the first to see about microbanking,'' Abercrombie says.
In 1986, Dunham did a one-year development project in Pakistan. That year, mother and daughter took a two-week journey along the old Silk Route to China.
Dunham's work for the Agricultural Development Bank of Pakistan was followed by stints at People's Bank of Indonesia and Women's World Banking in New York. She also did consulting work for the World Bank and USAID.
Watch this and then get back to me:
Obama's speech to Planned Parenthood on July 17, 2007:
http://www
Clinton and her supporters will try anything whether childish or not to try to debunk Obama. Obama calls for all people to unite, even taking the difficult stance of saying "gay and straight" in his speeches. He will let you know up front that his wife holds a lot of power in their household. That they are equals. America is growing up and these kind of tactics are yesterday. People are seeing them for what they are a desparate attempt to confuse and distort. Barack often talks about his campaign when its up and when its down, it has always been the same message. He was literally talking about her campaign and not about her personally.
And
The truth of this debate over words is that Words do Matter and Words are not Cheap, as Clinton tries to insinuate and would have us to believe. Without words there would be no great books or poetry, and she herself said in her autobiography that she was inspired by the words of Martin Luther King. So why is she now trying to not-so-cleverly put a damper on Obama's speech making ability, the ability to inspire a Generation of People.
In her recent speeches, she tries to emulate Barack's words -- cleverly trying to weave and incorporate their meaning in her own stump speeches. Yes we Will, she says. Words cleverly twisted and speckled with Barack's oratorical skill, so words obviously do matter. That chant of hers, Yes we Will, is a pitiful immitation of Yes we Can and it sounds just that. This is the Pot calling the Kettle black.
If they want to win, they are barking up the wrong tree. America is growing up, something the Clintons have not caught on too. And because Duval and Barack are good freinds it could be that Barack gave Duval the lines two years ago for his speech, so what does it matter? The truth is Words do Matter. She talks about Let's get Real, well Reality is Words Do Matter and Words are not Cheap! So let's Get Real On That!
More B.S. One's formative years are their teenage years. Barack was in Hawaii then. He was just 5 years old when he lived with his VERY STRONG CAUCASIAN MOM -- in Indonesia.
Wild stuff you guys are coming up with.
Actually, you are wrong there. The formative years are 6 and under.
That being said, it looks as though he lived in Indonesia AFTER those formative years.
Karen,
With all due respect,
Hillary has cried before three contests in which she thought she may not win. Obama did not.
Hillary told a round table of women voters that 'she has just worked so hard and has put her self out there so much...' to get the pity vote. Obama did not.
Hillary declared in a childish manner, 'Well that hurts my feelings' in a debate when asked about poll numbers. Obama did not.
Hillary has mis managed her campaign and has misplaced millions of dollars, encouraging the stereotype that women can't manage money. Obama did not.
It goes on and one and on.
She did it to get elected to the Senate by that phony Lazario is a mean man routine. And she is trying it with Obama. Except he isn't and it isn't working.
Saying it like it is, as a very strong and capable woman myself-Hillary has run the anti woman campaign. Hillary has set back other capable women by playing her own gender card. As much as she wants to play the poor me victim card, she is not the victim. She is the perpetrator of the most debilitating of all stereotypes. Obama did not do that to her, she did it to herself and all of us.
Other women that want to make a positive impact are.
Enough is enough.
Hillary is not the right woman for the job.
Again, as one who knows MANY strong women, Hillary is embarassing!
I'm with you Jacee. I am a woman of a certain age and was one of those ground-breaking feminists that began to force cracks into the glass ceilings of corporations, law firms, etc. There have always been radicalized feminists who take offense at every word. These feminists hurt the cause of equality for women and pretty much prove the point that women overreact to the smallest slight.
I prefer to believe that women are a little smarter than. Frankly, Hillary has been a poor example of feminism - the crying, etc. I have felt somewhat ashamed that she, of all people, is supposedly carrying the banner of feminism to become the first woman president.
Just as Obama has transcended race, Hillary needs to transcend gender. And until she does, I simply will not support her.
Yes, she needs to transcend gender as soon as she can get herself to stop crying in public.
I guess I'm just another sexist male (or is that redundant?), but it seems to me that there is a 3rd possible interpretation of Obama's comments: that Hillary is "down," not for hormonal reasons, but because she is getting her butt kicked in the primaries, and in these situations, she, like many other male and female politicians, feels the need to strike out by going negative. In other words, it's the desperate act of a politician who is floundering. Thats a political - and gender-free - assessment.
Spot on !!
We're past the time when women are considered inferior - but equal means you accept the bad bits with the good and stop thinking in outdated ways.
I read the comment and the above is exactly what I thought.
Was Hiil being sexist when she said on numerous interviews that she understands that Obama is "frustated" as his losses in NH and NV. Did that make you "wince"?
The parsing of words in this campaign has exceeed the ridiculous. There are somany more important issues the we as a nation must grapple with and fix. These type of trivial articles only reinforce the belief that women are ovely sensitive and emotional. Please, write about their policy difference or their decision-making (judgement) abilities. Teh puditocracy has served enough fluff to last a few lifetimes.
Nice try Karen, but if you're trying to portray Barack as a sexist - NO SALE.
You desperate Clinton lovers ought to just skip right to the part where you remind us that Blacks don't have the "intellectual capacity" to lead the United States. I keep expecting to hear one of the many Clinton surrogates, with their sweaty upper lips, simply blurt out some blatantly racist remark as they watch the nomination slip away.
It's a bitch when something you considered your birthright, your due, your just reward, all of a sudden pass you right by. If just for one minute Hilary Clinton would have considered the possibility that the voters of the United States just might not automatically fall over themselves rushing to anoint her to the Presidency, and if she had actually prepared a campaign based upon her policies, her vision, instead of a campaign based upon the notion that SHE DESERVES TO BE PRESIDENT, she might have done a lot better.
You have been listening to the right wing too long - how do you know she thinks she deserves to be president - that is a right-wing talking point. Wake up.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
