THE BLOG
02/13/2014 05:15 pm ET Updated Apr 15, 2014

Love Is Made Not Found

A recent article quoting basic statistics suggested that the filing of divorce papers increases around Valentine's Day. This is due to people starting to question their relationships and the true meaning of love. I suppose that the thought of a romantic dinner with someone who you no longer want to share time with might be the trigger to take that dreaded next step. The article also refers to the increase in security company business, as suspicious partners endeavor to find out if there is another love interest involved. How sad is this?

Yes, life after divorce can be good, and for many, there just didn't seem that there was any other option.

After being in the divorce business for many years, I can tell you first hand that many just give up too soon. The grass is not always greener on the other side. In fact, the grass will have lots of weeds -- perhaps just a different kind. So unless things are really bad and you have done everything to save your marriage, including counseling, then this Valentine's Day consider that your marriage just might be worth fighting for.

While it does take two individuals over the long term, be the one to take the first step and rather than focus on what you are not getting, focus on what you can give.

Here a few ideas to get you started -- you have nothing to loose and so much to gain:

• Start the day by bringing him/her breakfast in bed.
• Say thank you for one thing they did this last week.
• Tell them just one thing you love/like about them.
• Remind them of a story when you were madly in love and could not keep your hands off of each other.
• Be grateful for the relationship and love that you do have.
• Do not say anything -- just slip into bed with something sexy on. And if you are the man -- perhaps buy some briefs that have hearts, or something light hearted, on them.
• Light one candle in your room.
• Play a romantic song.
• Make them their favorite dinner.
• Do not react if they push your buttons -- just smile and change the subject.
• Play a game together.
• Go for a walk -- or just sit with them as they are doing what they like to do -- they will notice.
• Sit close to them on the sofa -- ensure body parts are touching -- say nothing

There are more ideas and theories regarding preventing divorce through a good sex life. Even Oprah shares her views.

Let this Valentines Day be the first of many to come.