Can Being Curious Make You Happier?
In my last post, I explored the "Top Ten Positive Emotions" from the book, Positivity, by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, and asked everyone to make Post-It notes to focus on one positive emotion each day. Thank you to all the readers who responded on and offline -- it was a hit! It seems everyone could use a little dose of awe, serenity, joy or interest these days.
I received a request to review a new book, published by Harper Collins called, Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life, by Todd Kashdan, PdD. An odd title, but it certainly caught my interest. Dr. Kashdan draws issue with the "happiness movement" as an end goal. Instead, he offers research that the active experience of being 'Curious' is a key thread to infusing life with meaning and purpose. It is a fantastic side entrée to our discussions, with some juicy tidbits to share.
Curious? Good!
Consider for a moment something that has piqued your curiosity recently. Was it a new book, a sexy stranger who started working in your office, or maybe daydreams of a career move? Being curious is an activator -- it awakens your mind and initiates a desire to learn more. It's downright tantalizing.
However, like the yin needs the yang, a constant companion to the state of curiosity is uncertainty. In order to be curious, part of the picture isn't clear, and this unknown becomes a stimulant. This is why new relationships are so intense, or why you can't put down a really great book until 3am, because you just HAD to know how it was going to end.
Here's a curious thought to ponder: would it be valuable to make "curiosity" a conscious practice towards achieving enduring states of happiness? Instead of a daily mantra of loving kindness, how about trying a daily mantra of curiosity?
Scientists agree that our overall mood in life is kind of like our weight. We may go up a few pounds over the holidays, and down a few pounds after the flu, but most people have a stable weight their body maintains, called a "set point." Our mood is the same way, with its own "set point" on the emotional spectrum. It temporarily rises and falls with the varying circumstances and events in our lives; such as great highs of a promotion, or great lows of a job loss. Eventually, our overarching mood drifts back to the same general place within a couple of months.
This set point is fine if you are generally happy or optimistic, but what if you aren't? What if you are on the crabby side of life? According to Kashdan, becoming more curious about your everyday life can help permanently elevate your set point up a few notches, with no side effects! In fact, Kashdan invites his readers to become "Curious Explorers" and re-learn the valuable skills seeking out and appreciating what is new.
"When we experience curiosity, we are willing to leave the familiar and routine and take risks, even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable," said Kahsdan. "Curious explorers are comfortable with the risks of taking on new challenges. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty, and see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn and grow."
I believe Dr. Fredrickson in her work on increasing Positivity, Dr. Kashdan's work in increasing Curiosity, as well as the other researchers on the cutting edge of the positive psychology movement, are a sign of the times. Our country is reeling from the effects of living in negativity, greed, fear and constriction. We know this does not work, and it is time to grow or die.
One of the great barriers that prevents us from delving into curiosity is fear. When faced with uncertainty or risk, it is much easier, and widely approved to stay confined in what is deemed to be safe. We don't leave dead end jobs to pursue our dreams without financial stability, we don't invest in learning to sky dive just for fun, and we don't even drive a new route to work. Why? Because we are afraid to let curiosity take the full reigns. After all curiosity killed the cat, right?
Yet curiosity can kick start many of life's greatest sources of meaning in life. Our nation has lived in a climate of fear, partly fueled by 24-7 news pounding our senses with every kidnapping, swine flu case, car accident or product recall. Sometimes we have to live with a little risk, fear or danger to become the individuals, the families and the nation we want to be.
We need bold. We need risk takers, and we need the value of vigorous curiosity to help us in working out conflicts. Instead of digging in with set opinions, the art of curiosity allows a chance to ask some open ended questions, in a mood of discovery, and allow both sides to find some common ground.
David Cooperrider is the master of this technique is his work called, "Appreciative Inquiry" as a means for groups to use positive questions as the entry point for finding consensus and solving problems. His methods have been used world wide, including the United Nations. Perhaps this method of curiosity and Appreciative Inquiry could be helpful in current issues like gay marriage in California, tip toeing around Middle East peace talks, or orchestrating the confirmation hearings of Judge Sotomayor.
Would you like be a "Curious Explorer" with me this week? Here's what Kashdan recommends us to do:
1. Try to notice little details of your daily routine that you never noticed before.
2. When talking to people, try to remain open to whatever transpires without judging or reacting.
3.Let novelty unfold and resist the temptation to control the flow.
4.Gently allow your attention to be guided by little sights, sounds or smells that come your way.
I like this idea. It is a sort of an active meditation, which requires an opening of the senses and a sharpening of the mind. I have five year old precocious twins, who often stump me with their endless curiosity. My son, an aspiring scientist, asked me the other day which direction the Earth rotated -- to the right or the left. Hmmmm, talk about Curiosity!
Which way does your curiosity rotate? Does it propel you forward to learn more, or spin you backwards under the covers? Come on out and play, let's see what happens. I always love your comments!
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.-- Mark Twain
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curiosity can't be bad. Happiness is over rated and fleeting. Let's strive for contentment.
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I'm fascinated by your blog, Kari. It takes me right back to studio life. In my own life, and in transformational teaching employing the arts, I have found over and over, that the creative moment does not arrive until the surprise arrives. There is life in the surprise, and our curiousity about this 'unexpected guest' in the creative process is what brings through the thread in the tapestry we are weaving through our lives.
Bless you for once again, awakening curiousity to the process of living,
Cara
Yes, I agree curiosity is a healthy and fun emotion to entertain. But, is anyone curious about where curiosity comes from? Where do our thoughts come from? Is consciousness a product of the brain or beyond the functioning of matter? Take a dive within to satisfy your curiosities. Transcending the surface level of the mind during meditation, one explores the rich fabrics of inner bliss, the source of thought. Practice of inner meditation sharpens the mind and senses, so interest in life is peeked and an appetite for knowing and discovering more about life grows naturally without training or mood making.
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so true!
Using curiosity is a great tool for meditation. Sometimes just the curiosity of following one breath to another as a way "in"
Thanks for adding this important perspective!
Curiosity? It appears to have disappeared in many of today's youth. Try to engage in small talk (on any subject) with the kid behind the counter. You will get nothing! Whether you are getting food, gas, or picking up your pizza. The service sector today appears to have no interest other than getting you on your way.
Yes, yes, yes! I've found that following my curiosity opens up new dimensions to my life. It doesn't even have to be big things, it can be noticing a funny-looking fruit or flower when I go for a walk, wondering why there are so many different types of bacon, wondering how those old wooden sash windows work, and looking them up. You learn new little things. The world becomes full of wonders and fascinating little facts. It's awesome!
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Well said!
I love your little daily examples..
:)
For the last few years a loose-knit band of us have been leading people in experiences that playfully retrain them to get curious, everywhere in their lives. We've noticed that curiosity is automatic in young children; but most of us, as we get older, place more importance on knowing the answers -- or appearing to know them. The more time we spend in the world of "I know this," the less we indulge our natural curiosity, and the habit of curiosity atrophies.
The physical parallel to curiosity is play -- doing something just to see what happens. Together, curiosity and playfulness quickly change the way the world occurs to you, and they form new neural pathways in your brain that allow you to handle an unpredictable world with grace and ease. Norman Doidge, in his book "The Brain That Changes Itself," explores the plasticity of the brain, which allows such results to happen.
More on this, and specific ways to play with your brain, can be found at www. gotreasure
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Fantastic!
Love to hear all of the fabulous applications of curiosity, playfulness and putting it together in community is certainly my cup of tea!
I will check out your "treasure hunting" site- certainly Piques the curiosity!
Take care and thanks for writing in
Kari
Curiosity has gotten me in trouble more times than I can count. I just can't imagine living without it despite all the trouble it causes.
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Hmmmmm!
Better to leave some things to our curious imaginations! :)
I was always curious but it seems to me that my curiosity has increased with age. Is that true for others? As a young person, I just accepted alot of thing or didn't even know to wonder about something. Now I want to more deeply understand the how and why of this world, and to try my hand at much of what it offers. Wish I had been this way when I was twenty!
It's certainly true for me.
I seem to have learned more since I retired 8 years ago than in my entire life. I owe it all to curiosity. Although at times my curiosity can be annoying for those closest to me, especially when it involves answering a barrage of questions.
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Great to hear from you both!
My mother in law is 87 and she is full of curiosity. There are so many things that interest her, that she wonders about. I am convinced it is what keeps her so agile and strong.
If we can bottle that energetic curiosity maybe we are on to the fountain of youth!
Thanks for writing.
The brainy and intellecutally gifted AND curious people are the ones who promote progress in this world. To be curious tho, also means that you live with youth in your heart even tho the chronological age is not. To be curious as a normal average individual means that you are not "bored" and if you are...you can get out of it. Being curious as a child often leads to trouble or being in trouble. Being curious is also about personal growth. I don't think it has to be researching for a cure for cancer or climbing that mountain to see what is on the other side. I have children that are curious and some that are not. The ones who are not are going to be happy with their lives, but will never move beyond the "now". I also think that being curious is not always happy, it can be frustrating, bring anger, make you feel helpless. The thing to do is work oneself out of it. NOW maybe I should be curious enough to read the book. smiling.
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Love your string of thoughts.
Clearly you are not one of those easily bored!
I appreciate your ability to look at multiple facets of the issue.
Kari, thanks for doing justice to Barbara's work and my own. I am extremely pleased to hear that curiosity resonates with so many people. To me, profound awareness and curiosity is the most invaluable currency that we have at our disposal and we can learn to spend it more regularly and intelligently.
cheers,
Todd
More about the book can be found at: http://tod
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Yea!
Glad you jumped on Dr. Kashdan!
I am happy you are able to check out the myriad of responses to your work on Curiosity! It was a great read and I hope others check it out as well!
Huff Po is a fantastic forum for direct dialogue!
Thanks again
Kari
I wonder where the Pandora myth came from. I have always been curious about why curiosity was given such a negative spin.
"Happiness is never experienced, only remembered
Interesting post.
Seems to me though that some are naturally curious and perpetually ask why or why not ...whereas most are ok with the face value and the "givens" in live...it is a question of being comfortable enough to explore and seek vs. holding on to what is known and "mine".
This is a very illuminating article. I'm a basic scientist in the cancer field. One of the greatest challenges faced by those of us in this profession, who are driven by curiosity and the hunger for knowledge, is to maintain this curiosity as we age, and not have it swallowed up by the every day obligations and imperatives that we all face. The other major challenge for all basic scientists in this country during the last 8 years has been coping with the drastically reduced funding for small laboratories, where most of the training for future scientists takes place and where most of the seminal discoveries and ideas in science have traditionally originated. The NIH budget has not kept pace with inflation, which is bad enough, but worse than that, it has been mismanaged, and in some cases deliberately crippled, to the same degree as the EPA, SEC, FDA, FEMA, etc. No period in modern times has seen more science careers ended, more more cynicism towards the entire scientific enterprise created, and more curiosity crushed. Those of us who have managed to stick out this dark period cling to the hope that it is not too late to revive America's leading position in basic science. Our innate curiosity and desire to understand nature is the only motivation that many of us have left.
wonderful comment. I wholeheartedly agree.
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HI John again!
Fantastic comment! I have a direct experience of empathy for your cause... I was just at Harvard for my husband's class reunion and was fortunate to see the Nobel prize winner in Chemistry, as well as Al Gore speak.
It is everyone's hope that our country will remember the vital importance of research - not just to find another drug, but to study all of the curiosities of this world- any of them which could lead to discoveries as yet unimagined.
Hang onto your tendrils of curiosity and interest- for everyone's sake!
Take care
Kari
Let me add to this that you are working in an area that traditionally considered to be well funded, compared to most of basic (fundamental) science. Fundamental theoretical physics or astrophysics are extremely poor compared to anything that at least touches biology, not to mention medicine.
In most areas of fundamental science the situation is even worse than you described.
Well, one thing is certain. Incurious people are the most miserable crowd I've ever encountered.
Didn't know they were a crowd. I know a few people that couldn't care less about anything and they're the happiest people I know. I always need to know everything about everything, and I'm a miserable prick.
You've got a point. Ignorance can be bliss for some.
I'm with you factotem. There's nothing worse than hanging out with my sister in law. She doesn't want to know anything, and gets visibly annoyed if anyone talks about anything.
Actually you need not look any further than Congress to make a decision.
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