No Child Left Behind = All Boys Left Behind

Let's play a little game of make believe shall we? Let's play "house" - and pretend to be a typical American family about five years from now- say in 2014.

In this scenario, Mommy is a CEO, serves on several Boards of Directors, and had her two kids in her late thirties. Daddy is at home full time, cooks dinner, coaches soccer and helps with homework at night. He dropped out of college, after struggling through high school, and can't find a well paying job to justify their childcare costs.

In our make believe game, there are two children. The daughter is getting all A's in school. She is the teacher's pet, class president, plays sports and is in honor's classes. The son likes sports, but hates most subjects in school, struggles with ADHD, and is fumbling. Both have the same amount of attention and opportunities at home, yet the daughter is going to Harvard and the son is going to Community College.

Now, before you get hot and huffy here about gender sexism, bear with me. This scenario is not far from the truth for our upcoming leaders of tomorrow. Since the 1970's feminism has opened up unparalleled opportunity for women to move forward in education and business. Is it perfect? No, but today's daughters are breaking glass ceilings and blazing trails.

However, there are glass shards and dead end roads being inadvertently left for the men, and the boys. In the past ten years or so, the world of education has changed dramatically. The "No Child Left Behind Act" has been a disaster, and instead has turned into "All Boys Left Behind." Our nation's boys are not just slipping through the cracks, they are washing down the Grand Canyon without a paddle, and something must be done about it.

Peg Tyre is author of the book, The Trouble with Boys, a #1 best seller, coming out in paperback this summer. Tyre spent five years researching the current education system from every demographic. She has a powerful, unrelenting story of how our young men are struggling, and describes a giant education gap that will affect every level of American life, in a very short period of time, as these kids grow up.

Currently, boys are being "expelled" from preschool four times more than girls. They are 60% more likely to be held back in kindergarten, and twice as likely to be diagnosed with learning disabilities. Only 43% of young men are enrolled as undergraduates in college, girls are taking more AP classes in high school, and dominating as school valedictorians. In fact, a "dirty little secret" at many colleges and universities is the unspoken "new gender gap." Boys are being admitted to colleges with lesser qualifications than girls to keep the gender balance.

Even though the IQ levels are the same, boys are disengaging from the educational process from their very first moments in a classroom, and steadily falling behind with each passing year. Today 72% of girls and only 65% of boys are graduating from high school.

For struggling families, the child who does the best in school is the one who will be pushed the hardest - nowadays it is invariably a girl. This trend is a massive reversal of forty years ago, where the academic career's of the boys was pushed at the expense of the girls. How can we keep the scales balanced?

Tyre states:

"In some ways its nice to see women on top. But we have to ask who is going to bring up the children and who are these educated women going to marry? In America there are 2.5 million more girls than boys in college, and women tend to marry men of the same level of educational attainment."

If the pipeline that is sending our boys up through the education system is damaged, the catastrophic recession is smashing the other end of the pipe as well- leaving scores of men unemployed, depressed and unsure of where to go next. Statistics show nearly 80% of those losing their jobs from the recession are men. Many of them are helping out at home, and redefining the meaning of "stay at home dad."

Does anyone see the connection here? In our recent lifestyle of 80 hour work weeks, an average father currently only spends 30 minutes a day with their sons. Maybe our struggling boys need their struggling dad's. Maybe both their lives need to be filled with a little more wrestling, games of Spiderman and comic books, instead of endless meetings and boring classroom droning.

Jeremy Adam Smith has written a new book, The Daddy Shift, just released for Father's Day. Smith, a staunch profeminist, spent a year with their infant son as the primary caretaker, and writes a very intelligent and engaging blog called "Daddy Dialectic". He offers a positive spin on the profound importance of men being at home as transforming bread winning into care giving. Check him out on this one minute video:

"Many fathers feel helpless, useless or in the way, when instead fathers can serve as a bridge between the mother and the rest of the world," said Smith. "It is time to come up with a whole new set of rules."

Smith feels that hands-on dads handle stress better when facing issues of unemployment.

"Taking care of my children is the toughest challenge I ever faced, but facing it strengthened me and enlarged my life, and critically, it has helped many of us to survive unemployment,"

Smith said.

I asked Smith if he has noticed any differences in how he parents vs. his wife's style.

"Primarily, I think there is not a huge difference between men and women as parents," he begins. "However, I do think father's wrestle more, and while many assume the maternal style is the gold standard, running around playing octopus is how we have fun and relate to each other."

I have great faith that having more men at home can help bring that critical masculine energy back into the nucleus of the family- there may be more sword fighting, squirt guns, and more hours of farting than flash cards. If boys can be empowered by men at home, ideally their ability to perform in school will increase. If more men are paying attention to how their sons are being taught and the obvious deficits they are facing, motivation will occur to take action and address their specific needs.

Let's hear it for the boys. How are your boys faring in school? How are the men out there handling the juggling domestic home front? Let's start a dialogue and your comments are warmly welcomed!

Comments

[MsC]

I do my level best to help all students succeed. It becomes more challenging every year because the required scores are raised every year. Principals are terrified of ending up in Program Improvement so they crack the whip over the teachers harder every year. It's become all about the test scores and less about the children. NCLB is a travesty that needs to be repealed and an apology issued to the last 8 years of students and teachers. Unless, of course, the purpose is to produce a generation of compliant worker bees who follow instructions and don't/can't think for themselves. In that case, it's working beautifully.

[MsC]

Don't kid yourselves...NCLB is leaving ALL kids behind. The focus on and demand for high test scores has pushed everything that is not tested out of most classrooms...music, art, social studies, p.e., science. The amount of curricula that students are expected to learn means that teachers have a choice between covering all of it or teaching some of it. We have pacing guides that we are to follow and quarterly assessments based on the pacing guides, which means you either stick to the pacing guide and forget about teaching to understanding or you teach to understanding on what you can and get dinged on the assessments. Then you have to be prepared to explain what you are going to do to make sure that students learn what they missed on the assessment but by that point you're halfway through the next quarter. All students benefit from engaging, hands-on lessons but there is little time to plan or do those because they take time. Girls are just better able to cope with the type of teaching that NCLB is necessitating, thus their higher achievement.

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Clearly you are a teacher and I can hear the frustration in your words!
I see the toll the system is taking on teachers, and fear for what is to come. We need our best and brightest in the classroom, who are able to bring their creative spark to match the interest of the kids before them.
Thanks for writing and hang in there!

[KansasWrangler]

This is a spot on story. My kid is 11 years old and struggled in pre-school. Expectations for boys were the same as for girls. In school, most of the education has been directed at how girls learn. All of the in school reading books are stories about girls. It is also clear from my observations in classroom visits that girls receive more attention. Most of the boys in his class are on some kind of medication to "control their behavior". I do not know of any girls in his class that are on meds for this reason.

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Yes
My kindergarden aged son (he is half of boy/girl twins) was targeted to have learning disabilities when he is by far my brightest child and I think will have a mensa IQ> the day they mentioned their concerns, my 5 year old came home from school with books on submarines and physics. When I asked what was going on in school, he said he didn't feel like coloring another "letter G" picture that day.
Can't say as I blame him!

It is a big problem. Thanks for writing in

[MNmommy]

I don't need to wait five years, you've just described my household for the most part. While my 2E daughter actually has more *disability* than my son - she was never given an IEP - just a 504 and has flourished in school. My son on the other hand was given an IEP (who through testing showed the higher IQ in neuropsychological testing) is falling further and further behind academically. For years I was the breadwinner in my household as well - while my beloved ADHD husband held on to a low level job and was much more responsible for the *homemaking* tasks as I worked a over a hundred hours a week.

[Ohioan730]

When I was in elementary school in the 80s, it was well established that girls were better students than boys. Boys are given the "action" toys; cars, fake swords etc and girls are given dolls and books--things you have to quietly focus on. This playing style is cultivated by the parents and it manifests itself when the children are in the school environment as well. When its time to sit down and pay attention, boys have a hard time doing that.

My 9 year old daughter never wanted or paid attention to dolls--ever. I tried to buy her Barbies and such when she was 2 and later again when she was 5 and she rejected them. She is always Darth Vader on Halloween. She likes Star Trek and Star Wars and "boy" toys. I stopped trying to make her a "girl" a long time ago and let her be what she is--a Geek. She's a straight A student because she's a geek. She's not a "tom boy".

I think most boys who aren't natural born geeks are influenced by their fathers and other males in society to "wrastle" and learn to box, throw baseballs, compete with each other for strength and athletic prowess and boys begin to believe that's their "job" and writing is for girls. Its a new age sexism, in a way. We have to stop putting our kids into pink and blue boxes.

[Dale Doback]

Males are ruthlessly immasculated and demeaned in all media, especially on TV, the third parent.

[MamaBird62]

Why is that? Males are still running the show when it comes to television content and production. The females on TV aren't too spectacular either. Best to keep that stupid thing in the OFF mode.

[Maerwynn]

I'm not unsympathetic to children of any gender struggling but this article is mostly numbers and statistics without any elaboration on to why boys might be struggling. If we don't know why they are struggling how can we develop plans to assist them?

There is a Redbook review of The Trouble With Boys on Peg Tyre's website that states that good research indicates that boys fine motor skills and vocabulary develop later than girls', and they have a harder time sitting still.

Are boys perhaps not ready for school at all as early as girls are? Perhaps if boys develop later they should begin school later.

Work duties have long kept men from interacting with their children. This is not a new situation nor one that is likely to fade into history any time soon.

Women are not taking over business in huge numbers as only about 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women and only about 2.5% of Fortune 1000 CEOs are women although women make up at least half of the work force.

As for men making up 80% of those losing their jobs during the recession, part of that can be attributed to the fact that women make so much less than men it is cheaper to keep the women and let the men go.

[T Pol]

Your observations are right on target. For example, you cite one reason 80% of those losing their jobs are men -- women make 72 cents on average to the average man's dollar. But also look at the industries hit the hardest: autos, construction...male dominated fields. The most stable fields? Education and Health Care, dominated by women because as times changed, those "nurturing jobs" became "unmanly," dominated by women.

As for studies, what about the studies that showed boys being called on in class more than girls?

Both my daughter and son excel in school. We worried when our bright son didn't show the same enthusiasm for going to school as my daughter did. I had to work outside the home more when he was small. I was home more when he started pre-K. He was simply missing Mommy, wanting to be home, making up lost time.

Kids benefit from good parenting by both parents. Girls need their daddies, too. And that's not to "dis" single parents of both sexes who find ways to keep their kids whole. This is no one "right" formula.

The early non-kit Legos are wonderful. Both my girl and my boy loved building castles for their dinosaurs. My boy is now a fanatic for the kits. My daughter less so because free form is more her bag. They role play together, reworking kits into new creations, or just pretending "Unicorns and Pegasuses."

Don't gender pigeon-hole. Root cause this problem.

[isis]

I to agree that there is something here and also agree with those who have mentioned the anti-intellectual atmosphere in our country. As for boys vs girls and getting support in school, I had the opposite happen in my family. My son did very well in school and is off to a great college. However, we did not start him in Kindergarden until he was 6. He was small and shy and so we redshirted him. In school he was a great student and he was also an athlete. His sports participation somehow gave him permission to also be smart. If he had not been an athlete I wonder if he might have gotten picked on. He was on television the other day with a group of top students and it was sort of ironic that people thought he was on there for sports. There is a lot for athletic kids to do and far less for those not sports inclined. Maybe this is harder for boys and so they rebel so they don't feel like less of a man. Probably the best things our schools can do is to celebrate each student's unique talents and diversity. How can we do that when we have those silly standardized tests as evaluation tools?

[MamaBird62]

Great points. I see that California is changing it's school age requirements so that kindergartners will be a few months older when they start school. I think that's a great idea, as long as some degree of decent age appropriate pre-school is available.

[JenLaviano]

This is a fascinating article, BUT, I have to wonder, isn't this also a reflection of our failure to meet the special education needs of students as required by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act? Many studies show that males are more likely to have any number of diagnoses than girls (just look at autism, where boys are many times more likely to have an autism spectrum disorder)...if you consider that roughly 20% of the population in general have disabilities, the percentage of boys in our schools who have disabilities is surely much higher than that. Perhaps the staggering statistics are not just an indictment of NCLB, but also IDEA, as clearly many of these boys are not receiving an appropriate special education program.

[walleymr]

doesn't help that female teachers can't handle boys

[granadared]

I can see your point, but it really depends on the age. I teach 7th graders and often find the boys to be easier to deal with than the girls. (I am female) They have way less drama associated with them and they are more transparent regarding their comprehension of the material. It would be great if there were more male teachers in the elementary grades. Hopefully some of the new stay-at-home Dads might consider teaching as a career when their children approach school age. There are many new alternative pathways to licensure which are geared toward career switchers and much of the preparation can be done online from home.

[luziannagirl]

Here's a suggestion for strengthening & enriching not only the lives of little boys, but little girls, and entire families:

Stop scheduling kids' sporting activities on holidays!!!!!!

Family time has already shrunk down to a precious little fraction of its former self, and now all to often family vacations and extended reunions are impossible because coaches have scheduled practices or games the day before, day after, or even day of a holiday!

Come on, people! Do we need a law?

[Mayra Montrose]

I completely agree that boys are left behind. As the mother of a boy and a girl, I have witnessed that teachers are biased towards girls. Especially younger teachers. They seldom know how to accommodate boy energy into the classroom. My son has been punished and threatened with loss of recess for all sorts of whims and silliness on the part of the teacher. What could be worse than having a "hyper" boy not be able to release his energy running around?

The observations made by Maria Montessori a hundred years ago are so true: she compared desks to little jails for children. The little jails are even more so for boys.

The biology of the male brain versus the female brains should be taught in Education Schools and teachers should be taught to use these natural differences in tailoring their classes to ensure boys are engaged in the process of learning.

Mayra Montrose

[isis]

There have been plenty of articles in prestigious science magazines showing that the genders are more similar than different. Here is a link to an article. I first read about gender similarities in Science but do not have the time to find that article right now.

http://www.psychologymatters.org/nodifference.html

I think we need to celebrate our similarities more. Maybe then the teachers and parents would nto be so rough on boys.

[Paros]

isis - you clearly are not the parent of a boy in school at this time. Differences make a difference. I (a female) grew up proficient in math and science. Had I been around other females and in an enviroment that supported the way women learn then I would be in science this day. It did not work for me and it is not working for my son now.
It all makes me very sad.

[cucumber]

It's up to you then to provide the learning environment that will help your son succeed. Parents, step up!

[colred]

As a high school teacher, I find the article to be true as well. All my failures this year were boys. It seems they get no support that works for them. I worked hard with a former principal to understand their needs, but leadership changed. That kind of understanding went out the window too. Boys see themselves as the problem and so do many educators. (My daughter actually came home one day with a quote from a teacher, "Boys are problems.") Boys are more active and require processing time that schools don't see as necessary. Many teachers have bought into the myth that boys are tough and don't see the struggle that boys are having. The media portrays boys poorly as well--only allowed to be angry, sports-oriented thugs. In addition, the constant testing moves the classroom faster and in a more "boring" direction. I don't teach a core course, but I am required to hit all the graduation testing words, concepts, etc. to justify my existence--not the exciting material that electives used to be able to cover.

In reality, boys are just not as compliant as girls, but exciting and interesting in their own way. Education should honor that as opposed to just honor the more compliant nature of girls.

[ParacelsusTheophrastus]

I'm a college prof in the sciences and don't see the boys left behind once they get to me. I do see both males and females being frustrated by uncertainty as you encounter in research and I bet this is due to the emphasis on content vs process that comes from those NCLB tests.

[Tom Joad]

I am a high school teacher in the U.S. This article and the book it cites is spot on. At my institution, girls now earn virtually every academic award and honor; in our advanced placement courses, girls outnumber boys 2 to 1...boys are failing miserably in school; their academic achievement lags significantly behind girls. Boys at my school are opting almost exlcusively for military service over higher education. Our society has abandoned boys - created them solely to serve as cannon fodder in our foreign conflicts. We all need to strive to make a world that encourages success in both girls and boys. Boys have value, too.

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Kari,

Your article touches me. Coming from a family of dominant women, I tend to feel that the strengths that men offer have not always been appreciated. For some years now, I have been hearing about young men in their twenties at a loss as to their value in the world and struggling to find their place in it. Often giving up one way or another. I am not sure that women understand their own power, and how it can fully serve both genders.

Wonderful topic to open. I hope it may lead to greater understanding and fresh awareness.

Sunday blessings to you!
Anne

[fcsakes]

All children of course have value, but hasn't it been observed for decades that girls often do better academically than boys? It would seem that the only part of that which has changed significantly is that girls are now receiving much more encouragement to explore other areas, go outside the traditional 'boxes' that society has kept them in for so many generations. In my own very limited exposure, I have not noticed any greater disparity in academic achievement between boys and girls.

All children deserve and need as much "family time" as they can get and in our drive to have more unnecessary stuff, they are often the ones waiting in the wings. Boys do need more encouragement I think, more definition to achieve academically and not just on the playing field or in front of a video game and maybe that means more parent time. I think so, but not the parent time that is primarily driving around in an SUV depositing children at soccer, baseball, the mall and having no time to understand, discuss, contemplate.

[mathme]

I've always heard that boys are far, far more likely to be diagnosed with an LD, closer to 6 - 9 times, I believe. I don't have any material with me at the moment, but I think that twice as likely is well undershooting.