Why Don't We Volunteer? The 'Dare to Care'

Get Involved! Volunteer! This administration's determination to address recession fallout spans beyond the reach of bail out dollars, and into old fashioned barn-raising, with a passionate call to service. The United We Serve campaign challenges all Americans to make a difference by doing "good" in their communities for 81 days, from June 22 -- September 11 and beyond.

"Make Volunteerism and community service part of your daily life, and part of the life of this nation," invites President Obama, "And I mean everyone."

Check out the President's short speech here:

It sounds good, right? But wait! I can hear the excuses buzzing already: "Well, umm, ahh, you know, the new episodes of WipeOut are coming on, work is so busy, summer is hectic, and money is tight - I just can't get involved." Sound familiar? Why don't we volunteer?

Here are some of the top reasons:

Not feeling qualified- "I don't know what to do."

Worried you will be sucked into paying a lot of money-"I can't afford to donate."

Afraid it will take too much time- "I am over committed right now as it is."

I have small kids and can't get away- "My giving bone is stretched to the max."

Not knowing where to go or what cause moves you- "Soup kitchens are not my thing."

Maybe we don't volunteer because of the WIFFM (What's In It For Me?) factor. Here's a reframe: does feeling happier, more contented and satisfied with your life intrigue you at all? Plenty of studies have shown those who volunteer actually have improved health, and trigger the same dopamine pleasure bath as when we eat our favorite foods or have sex with the one we love.

Yet most of us walk down the streets, lattes in hand, self-absorbed in our tweets and general activism apathy. Despite compelling evidence, I highly doubt swarms will start filling the streets with t-shirted volunteers, just because the President says we should. We have to feel a calling. We have to be pulled. Bottom line, we have to care.

Maybe Obama understands this, and created this volunteer "challenge" to get us out of the drone zone, and rolling up the proverbial sleeves. A fantastic start -- are you moving yet? Obama may call it United We Serve, but I am going to put out a "Dare to Care." Come on, give your time to someone or something that needs help this summer- I dare you!

Craig Newmark (founder of Craigslist), Google, UCLA, YouTube and others have collaborated on a web site called All For Good to help Americans overcome our volunteer objections, and make it happen in a big way. If you don't feel qualified, you will quickly see that even picking up trash counts, and any toddler would be proud to join in. Many options do not require any money, and even a small amount of time makes a huge difference. The site offers categories of potential interest, like Nature, Education and Health, with direct links to local opportunities in your neighborhood. No more excuses!

Here's some of the WIIFY (What's In It For You) in volunteering:

• Meeting people you never would have met. Volunteering offers a vital experience of putting roots in the ground. Feeling a part of something larger than ourselves can transcend the heavy emotions of isolation and loneliness -- even once a month makes a difference.
• Gaining Perspective on Your Own Troubles. No matter how hard life can be, there is always someone worse off than you are. Getting out of our personal mire for a while is healthy and therapeutic.
• Having Fun! A non-profit in my area recently held a gigantic tag sale to raise urgent last minute funds, as well as to put household items in the hands of those who need them. Our format was unique: nothing had price tags, and no haggling. Everything was to be taken at will, and donations given by choice. Guess what? We raised far more than we imagined, and everyone walked away feeling good about it. Was it a lot of work? Yes. The volunteers were exhausted sorting mountains of stuff, eating cold pizza for dinner, drinking wine in paper cups, and all the while laughing our heads off. Who won? We all did.

If formal volunteering is not possible or of interest, does this mean you can't "dare to care?" How a about applying the President's challenge towards the daily with our families, friends, neighbors and co-workers? Make each day an opportunity to connect with someone in pain, lend a hand before being asked, or spread some joy in the daily doldrums.

Here's how you can be in service every day, without joining any organization at all:

• Deliver dinner to a friend or neighbor in need; even a rotisserie chicken and bread is great.
• Offer to baby sit a new mom's kids for an afternoon, and give her20 for a manicure and a Starbucks.
• Mail a card once a week with a heart-felt message. After all no one sends anything to us 'snail mail' any more.

I would like to attribute this last idea to Huff Po reader Bill Burns, from Puget Island, WA, who sent me a card, out of the blue, this month. I was sure it was junk mail. Inside, Bill wrote that he read a few of my columns, and told me to "keep it up - you are doing important and good work." Bill tries to send a card every single day to someone who has touched his life, and ended the card with, "I know it sounds kinda goofy, but it helps me flourish and spreads gratitude."

I loved the simple idea of sending a card to a stranger. That is daring to care. That is a call to service. That is volunteering to make a difference in someone's life. Am I someone in need? Sure, I'm human, and we all need each other.

Marilyn Mock is someone who "Dared to Care," in a big way last year, when she saw a sobbing woman about to lose her house at a foreclosure auction. Gripped by fate, something made her raise her hand, and win the bid for $30K. Marilyn then turned around, and gave the house back to the crying stranger, assuring her to repay as she could. That single act has transformed Marilyn's life into creating a non-profit to help thousands of others called The Foreclosure Angel Foundation.

Come on Huff Po! Let's hear the myriad ways you have "Dared to Care," and how you intend to fulfill the United We Serve challenge. See you next week! If you would like to receive regular updates of this column, click on "Become a Fan," and see my blog at: www.karihenley.blogspot.com

Follow Kari Henley on Twitter: www.twitter.com/karihenley

Comments

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

You are such a gem, Kari! Thanks for your outlining the reasons we forget to demonstrate our caring too often. You do have such a marvelous way of zooming in on the deeper issue. Just reading your work reinspires me!

Love,
Cara

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Kari,
What a brilliant post!!! I think that you absolutely nailed the reasons why we don't volunteer and gave simple easy ways to share our caring.

I loved that you focused on WIIFY! Isn't that the truth!

Love,
Eli

[SusanRen]

My daughter just graduated from high school and cannot find a job. She decided she would volunteer at the local animal shelter. Well 2 weeks ago she had to fill out an application. Today she recieved a call saying she could start anytime. My husband thinks volunteering is a bad idea so do several other men I have talked to. All the women I have talked to think this is a wonderful idea. Volunteering on an application counts just as much as paid work. So anyway she is excited.

[wendy]

Hi All, I would love to volunteer but I confess and please don't yell at me because I do enough of that on my own--I have trouble finding a place in my small vicinity in FL as I no longer drive. I used to be active in many ways: working with the homeless in Boston, with hospice in Manhattan, etc. Now that I'm retired and have a few medical things that make helping myself harder not to mention others, I so wish that we had a check list for every area and neighboood in USA so that there would /could be more notices of what needs doing available.

I'm sure there are ways to Volunteer and to find what is best for oneself and therefore others on the internet but I've not found much posted. For example I wanted my son to go to Volunteer as he has many summers, this time in rebuilding New Orleans and he said: So how do I find out about that. And I went to the internet and couldn't either. To wit:

There are many in every generation and every sub group who might well volunteer esp young and very much older, but where do we find out what is needed? I mean this very seriously, we need to know how and where to look.

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you so much for writing Wendy and what a wonderful story of your many years of service before your retirement.
I am hoping Obama's site: www.serve.org and the private sector site: www.allforgood.org
will be offering opportunities for those who are home bound to volunteer doing phone banking, for instance, or to hear of easy local opportunities to pitch in by wrapping gifts, etc.

Let's hope with the old adage: "Where there's a will, there's a way" will kick in!
Thanks
Kari

[nemain]

I have a suggestion to you folks who are pro volunteer. Start a rally in front of the white house a million strong to make volunteer work paid jobs and pro bono work should be for all big corporations. Why are we still ok with allowing the earth and all of its occupants to suffer while paying CEO's and Wall Street, insurance co.'s, et al top dollar? The day that one is more important than the other is the day we can put volunteerism to rest and pay people for doing the right thing. Enough with asking people to do things for free, lets put them to work in something they enjoy and you will see billions knocking down the doors. Cubicle or freedom of the heart to do what feels good? Which would you choose? How far will you go? I would drive to washington in a heartbeat if someone started such a rally. Cmon people.

[tapeatsbill]

Kari,

You are an online endorphin rush! Great article and thanks for mentioning me. Made my day and actually gave me a great fundraising idea!

Peace on ya!

Bill Burns

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey bill!
Glad you logged on! Isn't it nice to see a good deed does not go unnoticed? The whole "Pay it forward" is alive and well at the Huffington Post!
Take heart! We do read our comments and always try to use them when we can!
Thanks again
Kari

[texastrixie]

Right now, a lot of folks are volunteering at home - with their extended family. People are out of work, people are looking for work. People are having to take in their relatives, take over unexpected daycare when a parent needs to go for a job interview, and loaning out everything from interview clothes to a place for someone's dog to sleep until times are better.

People are volunteering more around the country because they are out of work. Some of us would like to volunteer but don't have public transportation available. And many of the places you would like to volunteer are only open limited hours. That's no an excuse, but just an incentive to try once again to find out where you can help out.

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Helping out right at home is part of the solution I think the White House is looking for.
Be sure to check out the websites in the article to see what is happening in your area!
Thanks
Kari

[kissMYfish]

I've been volunteering since I was 7 years old. Just because you are not with an organization doesn't mean that you are not helping someone. If a person wants to do something kind; they just do it and not announce it.

[Debbie Sodergren]

Hi Kari,
Great article. I love the 'Dare to Care' challenge.
Your never too old or too young to start to volunteer. Kids in High School today
are required to do community service hours before graduation.
For those na-sayers who don't have the time....I challenge them to use their
lunch break to volunteer.....it can be as simple as a walk in the park eating
their sandwich and they happen to lend a hand to someone in need, even
if it's a small gesture, there is a sense of accomplishment that overcomes
oneself that you can never get while in the office for extensive hours!!!
C'mon.....I dare you!.....give it try!.....
See you soon girlfriend!
:)

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

So true.
We have all heard the stories of people who drive through Starbucks and pay for the person behind them, or buy stamps and pass them out at the post office to make the line go quicker! Have fun with it! As Leo Buscaglia used to say, "bake cookies and pass them out on the street for God's sake!"

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Kari kari - This is so GREAT... I always know when I read your daily blogs that it will be inspiring ..Thanks

Service is a great blessing..in Yoga it is what makes everything real..it is selfless and that is very important because it is self-obsession that causes so much suffering.

It is so good that we have posted a blog today called, How Can I Help

it was a joy to meet and be with caring people

Keep the inspiration coming

Big Love,

Ed

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

We are parked next door to one another this week- for those who have not read Ed and Deb's post this week, check it out- more ideas on the topic to be found there.
Thanks guys!

[SonofLiberty1]

And here's another opportunity that is never considered....

Helping out with an Amateur Astronomy Club...

What am I talking about?

Well, in most major American Cities you might find very small articles telling area residents that a local Astronomy Club will be at a local park with their Telescopes to give the public a look at The Moon and Planets. And sometimes there might be a very special event ...a Meteor Shower or even a Lunar Eclipse.

These events, that are open to the public, are called Star Watches or Star Parties, and they give you a chance to talk to these folks who call themselves "Amateurs" (Read lovers of ) Astronomy.

Now you don't have to "know" anything to come to the meetings..the only "FEE" is THE DESIRE TO LEARN....and you really don't need expensive equipment as your own eyes will do and if you like an inexpensive pair of Binoculars will do...

So you go to a few meetings...and you may decide that you want to join..it pays for the newsletter and maybe a few other things...

And then you, after a while, may decide to go on and help at these Public Starwatches or Maybe "Astronomy Day" held at a local Park or Science Museum.

And then you will be "smitten" with the hobby &

You might discover something....Impossible you say?

"Impossible Things" are happening every day:)

http://www.universetoday.com/2009/03/09/the-basketball-player-in-the-moon-catch-it-tonight/

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Fantasitc suggestion! Particularly for those with tight time frames, or young children who aren't getting the same science exposure as previous generations.
Thanks for kicking in a really fun, easy and Free way to help out, learn something new and have a lot of fun!
Take care

[SonofLiberty1]

One thing that amazes me about people talking about volunteer opportunities...

Political Campaigns are never mentioned...

I have to assume that most folks think that candidates get themselves elected and staff is paid staff...actually I guess everyone wishes these things happened...in truth it's far different.

Only a few folks actually get paid, and each campaign really involves many, many people.

And although, folks who staff campaigns are from the two major parties...everyone starts at the bottom rung..stuffing envelopes and canvassing...knocking on doors and with all friendliness asking that neighbor of yours...that you don't know..to consider voting for the candidate that you support.

And believe it or not...even if the candidate himself or herself can't be there to meet that neighbor ...you are there...and the personal contact is enough sometimes to shift a vote...do it all over your city or district and it's enough to clinch the election for your candidate.

And you do meet people you wouldn't know....

And if you are single...you might just meet someone you may end up dating.

And YOU might be asked, because of your efforts to give an interview and once and a while...

YOU might get an email from a reporter from a network like NPR...and find yourself a day or two later..listening to YOUR VOICE on "ALL THINGS CONSIDERED":)

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Hmmm! sounds like you maybe?
I believe Obama's election is part of what has reignited a spirit of volunteering, giving and feeling empowered that a little effort makes a big difference.
So many people donated to Obama's campaign, made phone calls and felt personally responsible for helping to put him in the white house- as it should be!
This is our country, and we can find that passion to come together in big ways and small ones.
Local officials always need help!
Great reminder of the "hidden" benefits!

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Kari,

What a lovely article. Through my own experience of volunteering, I have received much more than I have given, I suppose it is a matter of overcoming the inertia and just doing it. Opportunities have come my way because I have met new people and created a new local network. The benefits have always been valuable and often unexpected.

I love your Dare To Care. It is a great call!

With love to you,
Anne

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Anne- I think you nailed it on the head!
Overcoming the inertia is a big one. Sometimes we get "dragged" into something, and end up loving it, but never would have moved if not pushed.

Thanks for stopping by!

[BloomCoach]

I'm reading some of the comments and would like to comment to this wonderful article. I'm hearing that people can't find the time or come up with creative ideas to volunteer. Some even think that they are owed something rather than giving back. Kari writes how volunteering is healthy for you which is reason enough for me. When I volunteer, and I've done my share, I always feel great. Sure it's hard to find the time, but sometimes the more simple the better. Again, Kari gives us many suggestions on how even a small gesture can go a long way. Volunteering is the only way the world will continue to spin because there's so much work to be done. Thanks Kari for reminding us that making a difference, no matter how big or small, should be put on everyone's list...just like brushing your teeth (and you wouldn't skip that would you?).

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks bloom coach!
Nope, wouldn't skip brushing the teeth and yes, even a small gesture makes a big difference, and to me counts as Daring to Care!
check out www.bloomonline.com for more of the Bloom coach!

[signwrite]

hellooooo, most people are desperately working in any way they can to pay their bills, when exactly do you think they have time to spend at the local shelter or similar?

[Weirdwriter]

Ms. Henley's idea of "most folks" is so very different from yours and mine that I'm quite curious to know what her response to you would be.