What If: A Fashion Nightmare With VP Sarah Palin

"Fashion in Alaska means your fur hat is dead." Yet somehow Bouffant Barbie has convinced America that she's a fashion sensation and will pile her dogsled with suitcases full of femininity as she skids into the land of the badly buttoned, Capitol Hill.

With all the pomp about her girly veneer and what she will do for the butch broads of Washington, you would think that Nancy Pelosi casts her votes while sporting cargo pants or a prison jumpsuit. How will Sarah Palin do it differently?

She'll show how un-Washington she is by vetoing all pro-environmental legislature in a coat made of baby seal pups and polar bears. Women with bulging bangs, wireless rims and bear claw necklaces will seal deals on K Street. Fur will become the new cashmere, Cruella de Ville a fashion icon, Holden Caulfield's red and black hunting hat the topper of choice, the new "it" bag the AK-47, taxidermy will replace scrapbooking as the hobby for hockey moms and the PETA folks' tears will overflow the Potomac.

Washington is the only city in America where politicians are the fashion plates, and the clothes that dominate the Hill trickle down Pennsylvania Avenue onto the backs of the rank and file. Those months after Dubya was first elected, you couldn't sling a martini on Capitol Hill without hitting a cowboy hat. Suits and buckaroo boots suddenly became hip happy hour wear. Men that two-stepped and said 'howdy do' replaced the coffeehouse Clinton liberals. It was a fashion disaster. It died down by the second term, but those first hundred days were a hee-haw bonanza.

There is only one thing that could be worse: the Palin veep fashion extravaganza. As Palin is the new media darling--so much that you wonder if that wrinkly white man next to her is not a geriatric back-up dancer--if she were to come to Washington and hit us with a cold slap, so would her Alaskan fashion. McCain and his dry Arizona roots are certainly not doing much to influence the way we dress.

Patagonia may pooh-pooh Palin for outfitting herself in their nature-loving gear, but under a Palin vice presidency, Gore-Tex raincoats and knee-high fishing boots would become de rigueur urban wear. Bonus points if you carry your files in a briefcase crafted from an animal bladder or hang your hunting jacket on a pair of antlers before rushing to a Monday meeting. We're badly dressed enough in Washington already--let's not throw animal remains into the mix of poly-cotton separates and navy blue everything.

Comments

[elr50]

I don't know who looks worse-Sarah Palin or Cindy McCain. Neither of them have any taste-guess that is why they are Republicans.

[kellygirl17]

It discusts me that this woman enjoys hurting animals. I cant believe that she has a big smile on her face as she stands next to that poor animal she hurt. I would never want her in the white house.

[TypicalRepublicanDotCom]

Don't hate on her because she knows how to dress like a real woman! If you lefties had your way we'd all be wearing trousers. At least she's not afraid of her frontier roots.

[haveitoldyoulately]

Peta is gonna have a field day with this one

[BelGazou]

Palin is the first woman I've seen in a ton of moons who wears a teased, beehive hairdo. Never mind that she wasn't even born when knee-tickler skirts and bouffant-bimbo hairdos were all the rage. Perhaps Alaska is also frozen in time, at least a good 47 years behind everyone else.

[lordmi]

but she dressed UGLY!

[TAIsabel]

Why is PETA so silent? We have not heard a "peep" from them even after Palin was photgraphed in her office surrounded by several animal pelts and carcasses.

If this was fashion week in Bryant Park, red paint and protests would be flying all around us.

Have they been sent to Siberia??

[metogamekun]

"Washington is the only city in America where politicians are the fashion plates, and the clothes that dominate the Hill trickle down Pennsylvania Avenue onto the backs of the rank and file. Those months after Dubya was first elected, you couldn't sling a martini on Capitol Hill without hitting a cowboy hat. Suits and buckaroo boots suddenly became hip happy hour wear."

I think this is the real problem with Washington. No one seems to be able to think for themselves, even when it comes to something as individual and personal as clothing.

[RaraAvis17]

I wouldn't be caught dead in fur. I am proud to say the anti-fur protestors here in Oregon ran one of the long time furriers out of town. Schumacher Furs were in Oregon 112 years when they decided to leave the state! Of course after the anti-protestors got the upper hand.

Schumacher's had a sign in their window that read:

All protestors should be beaten, strangled, skinned alive, and anally electro-cuted.

Real Nice!

[Heddie]

Killing is killing. Culture evolves as time goes on. Anyone can obtain cotton, linen, and wool
cloth without needing fur. Anyone can obtain polartec to keep warm in this day and age. So
I don't want to hear another word about "needing" to wear pelts to "keep " a culture alive,
when those very same people have cars, computers, cell phones and more.

[noradunn]

Rugged individualists don't shoot animals from airplanes. Rugged individualists don't bridges to nowhere, and roads to a bridge to nowhere. Wouldn't they hoof it?

[LizDexic]

They already did. They used the money for the bridge to build a road TO the bridge....still to nowhere.

[Mewcatone]

There's something very wrong with someone who claims to be pro-life then hunts animals for SPORT and pushes for war. My aunt lived in Alaska for many years and she never found the need to hunt for SPORT. She talked about Alaska's beauty and the beauty of its wildlife.

As for your comment that, "They would be the one group of people best prepared to survive the worst of times, becasue they are still rugged, individualists who understand and apply the skills to survive on a regular basis, just as our families did many years ago."

..... you should try living in an urban ghetto with teenagers running around with AKA's, gang wars, stray bullets, drive by shootings, muggings, robberies, corrupt police forces who can be just as criminal as the criminals themselves... once you've survived that come talk to me.

[Aesthete]

The only hunting I condone is for FOOD. I've eaten moose meat. It tastes somewhat like beef, but has a stronger flavor. I hope that the meat from the moose Palin killed was donated to the poor.

[lmgives]

As a person who has lived in Alaska for the last 15 years and do not agree with people wearing fur or hunting I do understand why they do. Unlike most of this country this state actually has given to the Native Alaskan culture what the rest of the country has not given to those Native Americans in their area. The hunting and wearing of animal pelts is part of the culture here and to make fun of it you do a great disservice to those trying to live a slowly disappearing culture. Yes, there are many who wear fur who do not live in a village and are not Alaska native but many rely on the sale of pelts as income. Every part of the animal, whether it is bear, seal, or moose is used -nothing goes to waste.

We should all be discussing the issues not what she is wearing. All of the men look the same and now she has had a mini makeover thanks to the RNC. We should be discussing the fact that she pushed for open government yet is not complying with an investigation in her own state and neither are any of the people who work for her, her lack of experience in foreign affairs - WE should be discussing those issues.

[ruffmama]

i agree!

[Kayman]

I disagree. Although it's true we should be staying on more important issues then fashion, Palin wearing fur is just another aspect of her "out of touch" personality, one that does not belong in the White House. Cultures through time wore fur out of necessity to survive. Man must evolve with the environment. Wearing fur is nothing more then a grotesque statement of lavish living at the expense of an innocent animal. I truly doubt that thing she's got around her neck came off of road-kill.

[Matt7]

"Wearing fur is nothing more then a grotesque statement of lavish living at the expense of an innocent animal."

Perhaps that might be true of someone in an urban environment in the "lower 48." But as Imgives explained, it's a cultural thing. And who are you to judge? Same with guns.

To some guns represent generational tradition and sport and all things good and American. To others they represent death and fear and violence and a destruction of the society. But this isn't the time (less than 45 days) or place to have THAT discussion.

Bottom line is that whatever she's wearing, let Palin keep her lies an corruption in her own state, and let her constituents deal with it in their next gubernatorial election.

I don't want that woman anywhere near my children or my wallet. NO THINKS!

[kindGSL]

Matt is right. I wear fur and each one I have has a special meaning to me that is none of your business. I don't want to be called out or maligned for it. It has a strong cultural and religious meaning. Who are you to criticize it?

This anti fur attitude just smacks as one more way for ignorant white people to insult native Americans and native American religion. How about you just mind your own business? These fat rich slobs all eat beef, why is eating meat OK, leather shoes are OK and wearing fur is not?

Easy, wearing fur is a native American thing. I wear feathers too. I will be insulted if I get accosted about it. In fact, I might consider it racial profiling and sue for religious persecution.

PS, all animals and plants are 'innocent', maybe you should stop eating entirely to avoid harming them if you feel so strongly about it. Personally, I feel I have earned the right to wear my furs.

[lmgives]

Fur is much warmer than the technological advances in fashion in most cases. That along with the fact that buying a North Face or a Patagonia jacket costs a small fortune when you have the access to a pelt or hide to use that will keep you just as warm-why waste your money on a 500$ coat? It is very expensive to live in this state and even more so to live in a village. Many village do not have plumbing and live in conditions that the average American could not handle. They cannot drive down to the local WalMart and buy things like you and I can--you work with what you have or you have made a choice to preserve your culture.

AND when will you all learn that the Palin does not speak for all who live in this state? Many do not agree with the polar bear lawsuit and they will not be around due to global warming not hunting. The primary threat to polar bears is the decrease of sea ice coverage-USFWS.

[mysnurse]

Ah, yes. Let us preserve the Eskimo culture. Then why did Gov. Palin sue the U.S. government for including the polar bear in the endangered species category. Maybe because she doesn't buy into global warming because that might threaten the oil industry. Her refusal to acknowledge the science means that the polar bear will not be around for much longer-thereby eliminating an integral piece of the native people's heritage and future.

[SPiHC]

Fashion snarking doesn't advance the debate.

There is enough to be frightened about in Sarah Palin's issue stances.

Don't let them conflate two female candidates, when their issue positions stand in such stark contrast.

Learn the difference, vote smart.

www.SarahPalinISNTHillaryClinton.com

[BluePride]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59mOukUZNUo

Everybody RUN...

HomeComing Queen Palin's got a GUN!

[LAThinker]

Check this one out

http://www.ucubd.com/Index.aspx?id=688&cid=3147