What Not To Wear To The Democratic Convention

It's about that time again. Political fashion week is kicking off in Colorado on Monday with the Democratic Party's super models strutting in their red, white and blue. The theme I'm expecting from this year's event is "quiet patriotism." My fingers are crossed that no one decides to show a Western collection in an ill-placed nod to the Colorado locale. Mr. Obama; I know you're courting Southern Virginia and other boot-loving haunts but please stick to shoes with laces and the glacial blue ties from 2004. The only place cowboy attire truly works is on the pages of a Studs 'N Spurs wall calendar.

In the predictable world of political fashion, America has placed their bets on Michelle Obama donning yet another jewel toned sheath dress. Perhaps she should move away from clothing dyed the exact same color as a David Yurman gemstone and bring back the patterned halter dress from the NAACP Image Awards or the three quarter length sleeve she was so fond of in '07.

For Hillary Clinton, I think it's time we usher in a new era. Adieu to the buttery yellow pantsuit and marble sized pearls from the Boston Convention. You battled with bravery. You cried on TV. Head-to-toe pastel is not going to convey your reignited joie de vivre. Show them you've been to the mountain, dare to wear a jacket and pants that are not the same color.

Even if your name will never appear on a Presidential ballot, you may still want to adhere to the season's "quiet patriotism" trend that we've seen on every political runway from Dubuque to Denver since 1789. This does not mean that you should look poised and ready to man a lemonade stand on the Fourth of July. Protect yourself from the cool mountain air with a jaunty red sweater knit by your grandmother in her log cabin with organic wool rather than morphing into a walking Declaration of Independence.

Plan to engage in sport while out West? Please don't do a Kerry and wear swim trunks with the gardens of Versailles emblazoned on your backside. "You can never be too rich or too thin," may be the mantra at Bryant Park but at the convention it's as indecipherable as Esperanto.

If you are actively looking to sacrifice your career through a newsworthy romp, then you should channel the'80s with an oversized blazer, maybe an earring and tousled bed hair that falls past the nape of your neck. It seemed to work for Rob Lowe at the 1988 convention in Atlanta. Just make sure the other members in your ménage à trois are legal.

And no matter how much all-American whiskey you swirl down, throwing caution and tiny American flag drink accouterments to the wind, don't become the elephant in the room by wearing a McCain T-shirt. It's the biggest fashion faux pas this season.

Comments

[nutty4tahoe]

I'll be wearing my "I'm allergic to Republicans, Denver 2008" t-shirt that I bought in the Denver airport yesterday, along with the mardi gras-like peace symbol beads that CNN was giving away along with their free CNN = Politics tote bags.

[FrancescaItaliana]

So, Obama chose Joe Biden and they posed for the cameras with their coats off and their shirt sleeves rolled up. Could they have seen my posting two days ago here on Karin Tanabe's blog? This is what I wrote:
ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES AND LET'S GET TO WORK! I A sea of blue-collar workers rolling up their sleeves, another group in white collar, old people, young people, Democrats of every color rolling up their sleeves under the banner, "Let's roll up our sleeves and let's get to work!" It would be a fashion statement and a political statement. After eight years of Bush Jr., of a lethargic economy, a war nobody wanted, doing everything wrong about the environment. global warming, letting the rich roll over the middle class and the poor, it's time to take over and perform the necessary chores to make this country great once again. A sea of green shirts rolling up their sleeves to save the environment, blue shirts making cars that people really want, nurses and doctors rolling up their sleeves to perform work that is really needed. Hope is a wish, a desire, but only hard work can translate hope into reality. Let's roll up our sleeves and make hope a reality!

[preatorius]

What a brillaint idea for posters and t-shirts!

[Kyuzo]

Please refrain from wearing purple band-aids in order to denigrate a soldier's heroic service in Vietnam. Also, please do not wear plush elephant hats that resemble a giant phallus protruding from your head:

http://www.underconsideration.com/speakup/archives/kingsley_elephant_hat.jpg

[SweetJudith]

No cowboy hat please!!!!!
Anything but that!!!!!

[totalliberal]

Dude looks good in that hat. Like everything else he wears.

[MsLiz]

No backwards caps, please.

[mbh78213]

The hat made him look like the sidekick of "Walker, Texas Ranger."

[texastrixie]

As a woman, and not some 20 or 30-something, leave the pantsuits alone. Hillary Clinton isn't 6 ft tall. They first thing they tell us short or regular-sized women is that we should monochromatic, head to toe. Peals are classic. Few 50 year old women want to flash around in skirts. We don't want the chance that the skirt will fly up or our slip will show, etc. War in Iraq and we're wasting time on clothes. How about that Cindy McCain really does look like an animatronic Barbie doll?

[MsLiz]

Skirts and dresses require pantyhose. I hate pantyhose. It's a woman's answer to the tie, socially required and uncomfortable.

[beaupritchard]

Here's a thought ... sunglasses and dark suits

http://www.independentcritics.com/images/men%20in%20black%20SPLASH.jpg

[Solo500]

Perfect. Nice work, beaupritchard.

[LisainNYC]

Obama looks totally hot in that cowboy hat!

[frozenporklander]

Just so long as it's not a white cowboy hat because that'd be, well... that'd be too much Blazing Saddles if you know what I mean.

[barackobama4prez]

I like the cowboy hat pic better than the bicycle helmet pic.

[gage]

That picture is from when he was campaigning for the Texas. I think he looks great in that picture.

[gage]

For the Texas *primary*

My life's ambition is to someday post a comment that has no typos

[WillCooney]

Francesca, girl, you've got something there! I'd like to see it as an ad on TV. I always like Barack when I see him in front of a crowd with his sleeves rolled up. He looks like he's ready to get to work too!

[FrancescaItaliana]

Actually, I am a Hillary supporter, but if the inevitable happens and Obama is the Democratic nominee, I can see the theme work at the convention: ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES AND LET'S GET TO WORK! I A sea of blue-collar workers rolling up their sleeves, another group in white collar, old people, young people, Democrats of every color rolling up their sleeves under the banner, "Let's roll up our sleeves and let's get to work!" It would be a fashion statement and a political statement. After eight years of Bush Jr., of a lethargic economy, a war nobody wanted, doing everything wrong about the environment. global warming, letting the rich roll over the middle class and the poor, it's time to take over and perform the necessary chores to make this country great once again. A sea of green shirts rolling up their sleeves to save the environment, blue shirts making cars that people really want, nurses and doctors rolling up their sleeves to perform work that is really needed. Hope is a wish, a desire, but only hard work can translate hope into reality. Let's roll up our sleeves and make hope a reality!

[geobushono]

I think you're both onto something here.........We're all eager to get started, and rolling up our sleeves has an elemental appeal....it definitely speaks to the working class who has been hit the hardest because they were dis-invited to participate for the last 7 years.
Now, let's roll up our sleeves and get to work.

[proudtobeliberal]

I leave sunday morning for Denver. I have not packed yet and thank God I do not own a cowboy hat or a yellow pant suit so niether of those items will be going with me. I'm thinking Democrats look great in jeans.

[alieninvader]

From a resident of Denver and almost native of Colorado, I thank you. No one in Denver wears cowboy attire. We consider it to be an insulting stereotype.

[gage]

An example of what happens when too many newcomers take over. You lose respect for your own heritage and culture. Sad.

One of the main goals of the Dems this year is courting the Mountain West. In this pursuit, it's counterproductive to dis cowboy culture and western wear, but Obama supporters can't seem to keep their contempt for non-urbanites a secret.

[ZimboChick]

I am all green with envy. Good for you!! Take pictures of all the McCain t shirt wearing wearing PUMAs/'hardworkers'

cheers

[texastrixie]

Lay off the PUMAs. None of them are going to be wearing McCain anything. Have you not heard the word that we might actually need these people to win? For real!?!? So they got their noses out of joint for awhile. They will come around if we stop trashing them. Let them go through the convention, Hillary seems to be working to have her own people go around to keep any demonstration under control, and that's the best we can hope for. The attitude all along from a lot of Obama supporters was who needs you!?! Well, we may actually need these people. Lets try to get along. If we can't respect and try to understand each other - and we're all Democrats - how will we ever get the country united. I think both Clintons will suprise everyone and come out hard for Obama, and campaign for him. Both of them wanted to redeem the Clinton presidency. Hillary got over the primary defeat easier than Bill because Bill knows his actions submarined both his presidency and her campaign. But even Bill realizes by this time that he can't keep grousing or he will really tarnish his legacy.

[geobushono]

a good cowboy hat lasts a lifetime.....I'm just sayin....tres chic here in El Paso.

[naschkatze]

I think Obama looks really cool in that 10 gallon hat, and BTW, Hillary's pansuit was not a soft, buttery yellow. Nukular yellow is more like it.

[ZimboChick]

lol

[BeeOplentee]

Sounds all exciting and great! Let's hope we don't see any people with American flags sown to the seat of their shorts!

[Sandlerge]

I am now a fan of this blogger. She writes about the things my inner fashionista yearns to discuss in public. Democracy and Fashion. What next?!

[HollyR]

Love it! KT is officially my favorite Huff Post blogger because she referenced Esperanto and Rob Lowe in the same piece.