Big Gay Slowdown

Despite much good-natured pressure, my partner of twenty years and I have not gotten married. If we ever do marry, I know I will want an old fashioned wedding. Really old fashioned. When I get married, I want a country.

I am the Mr. Big of gay marriage. That said, I completely support the freedom to marry for all gay people. I believe my friends when they tell me how surprised they are at the transformational power of declaring their love before family and friends. I love hearing their stories.

I hate hearing their stories of the on-the-ground, hand-to-hand combat against anti-gay ballot initiatives in Florida, Arizona [again], and California. In California, two newly wed lesbian friends called me as they drove to yet another "No on 8" rally through a thicket of "Yes on 8" yard signs. The friend who was driving was distraught because her usually serene partner who was having a homicidal, screaming jag triggered by all the Yes signage. She asked me to talk her down. I suggested she drive on the lawns and take out some signs.

In this financial climate, in California alone, sixty million dollars is being spent for and against the basic human rights of gay people. You would think the attitude would be, "Oh for heaven's sake, it's almost the end of the world, let the gay people get married."

If we defeat Prop Hate, I say we sue our adversaries for anti-gay harassment and to recoup our money. We can use the money to continue to provide for homeless LGBT youth, HIV AIDS support, and care for our elder gays.

If we do not defeat Prop Hate, I say November 5th we call for a general gay work slowdown. Decorators will do deliberately bad, possibly dangerous feng shui. Hairdressers will mistakenly lay hot curling irons down on ears. Social workers will give bad advice, "Your father sounds like a great guy. Show him some love." Salespeople will ooze, "Oh, that looks great on you." Waiters will serve cold food and suggest the wrong wine. Flight attendants will put 'out of service' signs on bathrooms midway through long-distance flights. Some nameless malaise will dim Broadway.

If gay people are not to be full citizens of this country, we should stop paying taxes. To make up for the lost funds, as an alternate revenue stream, it is time to tax churches that have encouraged anti-gay hatred through their bullying pulpits. The FBI recently released hate-crime statistics that showed a 1% decrease in hate crimes over all, but a 6% increase in anti-gay hate crimes.

When and if I get married, I want my country. Call me old-fashioned.

Comments

[MinerSam]

Your humor reflects a healthy mind. Thanks so much for laugh cascades.
Heart in need of it right around now. And refreshing to come across someone
capable of doing Nuance (eye rolling, deep sigh). I miss New York.

"Traditionally" speaking: has been said that marriage spoils relationships.
Come across this syndrome yet?

McCain is such an unappealing thing...to put it radically mildly. He gives me fever.....
every time I see his lies..eh mouth...Looks a bit like mousilini from the back.
Imagine having to see it every day for years....a­nd.Continu­ed empowerment
of the Conglomerate of the Lunatic Fringe quickening the end of times....
but by then thar might be a good thing. ..
Like when Republicans hate our government, then set out to prove it bad.

Who would have ever thunk they'd have come this far when David Susskind used to consign them to his 1AM shows.
Now they even appear 3 times in Brokov's book about the 60s. Talk about out of context

We are not out of the Woods yet. Swing Voters s "swingin" through trees
vulneable to emphatic tones of voice.
Grace Slick lives in Spain now. Anyone know where? ibitha?

[blueskybigstar]

From the Ten Commandments

2. Do not make an image or likeness of what things are like in the heaven's above-- to me this means, do not assume what God wants

3. Do not swear falsely in the name of the Lord-- who are you to say what God wants. The Bible has many places where it contradicts itself

5. Honor thy father and mother-- do this by living a good life and find only one person to bond with to cherish their union

7. Do not commit adultery-- the pressure to be part of society is so great people again and again try to be what they are not, sometimes marrying people whom they should not be with, not only causing turmoil in oneself by trying to be something one is not, but causing the spouse the turmoil of not understanding what is wrong. This is all too common. When a person tries to be something he or she is not, adultery will happen, suicides as well.

8. You shall not steal-- that is exactly what you are doing by trying to change the constitution and trying to make people second class citizens

9. Do not bear false witness against your neighbor-- which is what people do when they say that this is the last stand for morality, or that Katrina happened because of gays

10. Do not covet your neighbor's wife or husband-- that is what you are doing by not allowing someone to choose whom they love

[blueskybigstar]

If they do succeed in passing this amendment, why don't gays just start calling their civil unions, which by law are equal in every respect to marriage, marriage? Still go ahead with the ceremony and everything else. Call it marriage. What are they going to do? Put muzzles on everybody's mouths? There is still freedom of speech and there is no way that anybody can keep anybody from calling their civil union a marriage. This is about freedom of speech.

[martymartymarty]

I think Obama said it best the other night when, paraphrasing him, he said that The Constitution nowhere indicates that anyone has the right to marry anyone. Marriage is not mentioned in The Constitution, and I think that speaks volumes.

I have long thought that when churches go into trying to sway political initiatives one way or the other, whether through overt opposition or support, it should nullify their "tax exempt" status. If they want to influence the legal rights of citizens, they should have to pay taxes.

[psy]

That's what I really like about Obama: he knows the constitution.