10 Dream Plotlines for Kate Moss on Absolutely Fabulous

Absolutely Fabulous is one of my favorite TV shows of all time. A British sitcom that ran from 1992 to 1996 and again from 2001 to 2004, Ab Fab was about two best friends -- Edina and Patsy -- who reached their late 40s without giving up chain-smoking, booze swilling, taking odd drugs, or referring to themselves as nymphos. Fashion victims to the extreme ("It's Lacroix, darling"), Patsy and Edina are overly proud of themselves for having been scenesters in the '60s and '70s. And they're nasty -- not at all above pushing an old lady down the stairs because she was moving too slow. The series was created and written by Jennifer Saunders, who played PR firm owner Edina. And Joanna Lumley nailed her part as aging magazine editor Patsy.

As you can imagine, I was very excited when I heard that Ab Fab was returning to the air to celebrate its 20th anniversary. ("We hope that, like a good bottle of champagne we have grown better with age," Saunders said when the announcement was made last summer.) But now comes the even more exciting news -- that supermodel Kate Moss has filmed a cameo in one of three new Ab Fab episodes to benefit the British charity Sport Relief. While Moss' episode will air in the U.K. on Friday, it doesn't appear to have a U.S. air date set yet. Sigh.

According to reports, in Moss' episode, she shows up for a meeting with Patsy alongside designer Stella McCartney and male model David Gandy. But frankly, that sounds a little dull. Here, some concepts I wish Saunders had considered for Moss' cameo.

1. Kate Moss is aged, via the magic of makeup, to appear in her mid-60s like Patsy and Edina. She could be there long last friend from an orgy in the late '60s!
2. Moss pops out of a bathroom stall, and lends Patsy a bump of coke.
3. Moss is a good friend of Saffron's with appropriately buttoned-up, nerdy attire.
4. Even better, Moss could be Saffron's lesbian lover!
5. Moss appears alongside Kristen Stewart, as members of a new band that has hired Edina's PR firm to hype them. Hey, Moss and Stewart are supposedly working on a song together.
6. In a flashback scene, Moss could be the young Patsy. Hey, all it would take is the hair.
7. Gran has a surprise for Edina -- she gave birth to another daughter, who she has kept a secret until now. Enter Moss.
8. Edina and Patsy crash a modeling shoot, reeking havoc on the set of one of Moss' sets.
9. Moss co-stars alongside husband Jaime Hince, who Patsy decides she must have. Cue the volatile love triangle.
10. Moss appears as a bungling public health officer, investigating claims that so many cigarettes have been smoked in Edina's flat that it needs to be considered a toxic site.

OK, so maybe my ideas aren't that much better than what Saunders came up with. Fine, I guess I can be patient and wait to see it. The sneak peek does look pretty darn amusing.

For more thoughts on famous Kates -- from Kate Winslet to Kate Hudson to Kate Upton -- head to Kate-book.com.

 

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