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Katherine Bindley

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Should Women Wear Engagement Rings To Interviews?

Posted: 08/18/11 10:17 AM ET

Stressing about what to wear to a big job interview? Instead of debating skirt or pants, suit or not, some hiring managers say it's the ring you should think about ditching -- your diamond engagement ring, that is.

"Please remove your giant diamond rings," wrote one contributor to a community forum on Urbanbaby.com last week, billing her post as a public service announcement. "I work at a non-profit," she continued, "and when I interview someone who is sporting a huge diamond, I immediately deduct points from that person. I talked about this with some of my colleagues today, and they feel the same way. It's just an unnecessary risk."

The poster later clarified that she has a specific reason for resenting when applicants bring their bling to an interview: She works for a non-profit that helps African women and children suffering from the effects of the conflict diamond trade.

But her post contributed to a larger conversation sparked earlier this year in a field that has no connection to the diamond industry. In June, a women who worked at the accounting firm KPMG claimed that when she inquired about how to get a salary bump following her maternity leave, she was told that she didn't need one because she had a nice engagement ring. Now, she's suing.

When it comes to the interviewing and negotiating in the work place, are women judged for and by the rings on their fingers? And if so, why exactly?

Wearing a flashy engagement ring to an interview "has got to be a personal decision," said Karen Katz, a principal with Forum, one of the largest executive search firms in New York City. "But it could be a damaging one."

Katz, who coaches candidates before interviews, said that anything that distracts from what the applicant is saying is a negative in an interview. That includes bangle bracelets that make noise when you move your hands, eye-catching costume jewelry, strong perfumes, and, potentially, a very large engagement ring.

But the KPMG lawsuit indicates there's another way in which a big ring may send -- or be seen as sending -- a strong and perhaps the wrong message.

"Unfortunately, it could be perceived as, this person doesn't really need this job," Katz said, although she argued that no employer would ever admit that. "If they've got a ring that size, they don't need this job.'"

On top of that, Katz pointed out that a big ring could be viewed by some interviewers or colleagues as an inappropriate expenditure.

In the end, she said, it all depends on who's sitting across from you.

"I wear a diamond that is not a huge one, and I wouldn't think of not wearing it," said Katz. "But years and years ago in an interview with a client, the client jumped up and said 'Oh my god, how big is that ring?' My stone is less than a carat: its all about perception."

It's obviously unfair -- no one would ever ask a man how many carats the diamond ring he bought his wife is to determine what kind of job or salary he deserves -- but the UrbanBaby thread and the KPMG suit suggest that it happens.

Still, plenty of respondents to the Urbanbaby post who also handle hiring at their companies and organizations argued that a ring has no bearing on their decision, nor should it.

"I've hired dozens of people...honestly couldn't tell you if any of them even wear diamonds or what their jewelry was. I can remember every detail of the interviews, their cover letters, and their previous experience, though," wrote one commenter.

"Where that person went to school and her work experience speaks more to me," said another.

Tell us what you think. When it comes time for a big interview, or the meeting where you plan to ask for a raise, should you leave the ring at home?

 

Follow Katherine Bindley on Twitter: www.twitter.com/katiebindley

Stressing about what to wear to a big job interview? Instead of debating skirt or pants, suit or not, some hiring managers say it's the ring you should think about ditching -- your diamond engagement ...
Stressing about what to wear to a big job interview? Instead of debating skirt or pants, suit or not, some hiring managers say it's the ring you should think about ditching -- your diamond engagement ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JustTheFacts4Me
02:36 AM on 08/27/2011
When I was in my 30's I became engaged and decided to leave my ring at home when I interviewed. Not because it was ostentatious, but because I didn't want the interviewer to assume I was going to start a family. I know many people think, "She's engaged/married
10:01 PM on 08/26/2011
Really? If you stereotype by ring size rather than resume and job qualification.... that's extremely shallow.
01:49 PM on 08/25/2011
How absurd. An engagement ring, like a wedding ring, is an expression of the commitment you've made to another person, and a way of announcing that commitment publicly. Any employer who expects you to take it off for their benefit is disrespecting your intimate relationship as well as your right to have a private life outside of work. This issue is really indicative of a larger trend, where employers all too often confuse HIRING you with OWNING you.

This kind of stuff is the reason I am delighted to be self-employed, but if I do interview for a job at some point, I'll gladly wear my engagement ring to screen out the sort of busybody, control-freak employers that were quoted in this article.
01:00 PM on 08/24/2011
Interesting article. Similar to Box500, I think another perspective is that wedding rings/bands can indicate stability.
11:54 AM on 08/24/2011
How judgmental!!! My gosh. First off, my husband and I picked a 1 karat white sapphire instead of the diamond because of the diamond issues. No one's noticed that it wasn't a diamond, but I'm more comfortable with it. If they judged me for it, that would be completely obnoxious. What a bunch of jealous b!tches. Ridiculous.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dede Eagleburger
Beauty is in the eye of the makeup brush holder
12:44 PM on 08/24/2011
I think it's more men interviewers than women, that would judge you for it.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DMDAY44
11:18 AM on 08/24/2011
I've been in the business world for 27 years, and have done my share of hiring. It has never occurred to me to pay attention to the size of a woman's engagement ring. That said, I have seen women come in for an interview who overdid it with gaudy and flashy jewelry, sorry, but that does tend to make me less interested in them as an employee, not because of any financial implications, it just looks unprofessional.
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Box500
Space can be recovered. Time, never.
01:30 PM on 08/23/2011
Conversely, men, wear a wedding band to an interview even if you are single. Instantly, you are deemed more stable and reliable.
08:12 PM on 08/23/2011
What if the intreviewer is a female and she notice your wedding band. She would think HMMM my boytoy at work and there would be no attatchment
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Targa3141
05:57 AM on 08/25/2011
Rawr! Cougarrific and empowered!
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Sonupv
12:26 PM on 08/23/2011
In general it is a good idea to dress conservatively for an interview. But you would not hire a qualified person because of her ring ? Are we talking HR here ? If yes, I can understand because folks in HR often don't know squat about hiring anyways, somehow they are made in charge of hiring.

And if you are hiring manager yourself and you judge people by the size of their ring, then it is better not to work for you anyways. Because you will probably judge on every other thing and will make your employee's life hell.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cassandra45
"Let us do our best, even if it gets us nowhere."
09:56 PM on 08/21/2011
If I were the person doing the interview, I would check out the interviewee by commenting - NICELY - on her ring and see what she had to say about it. If she laughed and said it was a fake, I'd think of her quite differently from the way I would if she flashed it around and made sure I knew it was real. One of my best friends got a rock so big "it's almost vulgar", as she described it, and she's still my best friend, although my wedding ring was an antique with a diamond so small that one of my lawyer friends laughed and said, "At least you know it's paid for!"
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Sonupv
12:29 PM on 08/23/2011
And you will set yourself up for a potential law suit also. Any little thing ( where do you live, how was the drive, how many kids you have, nice dress, nice ring ), that you ask that is not directly related to the job duties, is a potential reason for a lawsuit. Don't believe me, ask your legal/HR department.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
onlyred
Not endorsed by the GOP.
09:30 PM on 08/21/2011
Interesting article. I have a "large rock", and it's diamonique, totally fake. I take it off for interviews just because I wonder if they will think it's real - i don't want them to think I'm wealthy or marrying into wealth, because I'm not.
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Absolute
Teacher and Old-School Liberal
07:30 PM on 08/21/2011
Not hiring someone because you think their large diamond indicates that they don't "need" the job? This is why HR is rarely respected.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rasaria
04:59 PM on 08/21/2011
Why does lack of good taste always become the subject of HuffPo articles? Asking for or expecting a 2K diamond shows poor taste. Wearing it to an interview shows even less.
05:17 AM on 08/23/2011
Wh-- hold on, what makes you think the woman asks or expects it?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MexiChick67
Que? Que? Queee?
02:54 PM on 08/21/2011
Going to play devils advocate here... If I was to see a young woman with a big rock and I was interviewing her I would question myself "Will she stick around when she decides to have babies?" or "Will she quit once she gets married?" or "Will she spend time planning her wedding on my dime". All three of these issues I have seen in the various offices I have worked at. The gal planning the wedding got fired when she was caught sending invites using the company postage meter.
04:03 PM on 08/21/2011
I agree. When I read the title of this article, I assumed that they would talk about how some managers are reluctant to hire women who would have to take off work for marriage/pregnancy. I'm not saying that this practice is fair at all; in fact, it's blatantly sexist. However, I do think that diamond rings can be distracting in a job interview.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lady1genius
No se puede tapar el sol con un dedo
04:03 AM on 08/23/2011
The problem is... you don't know if the ring in question is grandma's heirloom engagrment ring and you can't ask and it would be wise not to assume the woman is either married, engaged, or plans to have any children at all. Assume makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me' as the saying goes. You cannot ask (legally) and frankly it's none of your business.
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
11:11 AM on 08/23/2011
Considering that someone could get engaged a month after getting a job, or go through the same lack of concentration on the job during a divorce, does it really matter?
apoyo
Micro-bio? Sounds serious.
02:49 PM on 08/21/2011
I'd rather have rock hard than a hard rock.
apoyo
Micro-bio? Sounds serious.
02:42 PM on 08/21/2011
Couldn't you just turn the ring around during the interview?
So the diamond is not visible?

We live in such a materialistic society that I'm sure everyone suffers "keeping up with the Joneses" syndrome." Don't show off your goods. Unless, the only reason you bought them is to show them off. Then by all means be prepared to suffer the repercussions.