Like If I Hear "Like" One More Time I'm Gonna SCREAM!

Bill Gates, the co-founder of the world's largest philanthropy, called on President-elect Barack Obama and the U.S. Congress to expand support for education and make the federal government "a dynamic agent of school reform," even though the nation is struggling through difficult economic times.

If how our children speak is an indication of how they think, our young people and the country are in deep trouble. And the task to which Gates referred is massive. The job of the new secretary of education will be too.

The word "like" has become a substitute for such words as "said," "thought," "wished," "considered," and "wondered." "Stuff" and "everything" cover just about everything. You don't have to go far from your house to overhear: "He like says he doesn't like me and everything. That's cool and stuff, but I'm like, OK, whatever. Like I'm gonna like get all upset and stuff. I'm soooooo not. Forget it."

I've made my car a "like-free zone." It's my small effort to improve a condition that is worsening by the day. When I am driving teenagers home from school, they try not to use the word "like." It's an extraordinary challenge. They seem to enjoy it. And it beats walking home.

When I was young, I used to occasionally add, "you know" at various points in conversation. My father would reply, "No, I don't know." It was annoying. But it made me aware of superfluous fillers that become part of our speech habits. They are difficult to shake.

Unfortunately, many educators speak this way too. Schools of Education should not allow future teachers to use "like," "stuff," "and "everything" in place of information or useful pauses.

Does your child's school have this problem? If so, you should bring it to the attention of the PTA, principal or superintendent. Write to a college dean. You, too, can be unpopular. But, hey, your child's education is at stake.

Ask yourself if this is how your son, daughter, grandchild, niece, or nephew speaks?

So like I said like, "Don't you talk to me like that!" And, he was like, "What?" And I like couldn't take it and he like thought he was so cool and stuff and I like brushed him off and he was like, "Whatever."

Why are schools tolerating this? It's awful! Why are parents letting this happen? I challenged a classroom full of college students to stop using "like." They accepted. I helped them find substitutes and eventually to rid their language of "like," "stuff," and other fillers. I wasn't looking for perfection. I was offering them an advantage in landing a good job.

If we don't insist that children and young adults learn to communicate clearly and persuasively, we harm their futures. We allow sloppy language to infect their thinking. It isn't enough to be bright. Children with high grades and excellent SAT scores often don't get into the colleges of their choice. After the on-campus interviews, and sixty "likes" later, their hopes are dashed.

Good grades are great, but it's time to give our children a chance to express themselves in ways that enhance their success. Otherwise, you may be the only person who gets to know that your child is, in one way or another, quite brilliant.

Dr. Reardon also blogs at bardscove.

Comments

[Dwayne Raymond - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for writing this piece. My ears and senses have been mercilessly assaulted with this plague of noise since I first became aware of the grace of our language. It baffles me that the government is adamant about teaching computer literacy while being wholly indifferent to the fact that many. if not most of our youth, are unable to properly manage their own internal hard-drives while speaking. Yes, information and the ability to search it out is important, but what remains neglected is the basic ability to pass it on in conversation without slaughtering it with the insertion of malignant tumors of foul, meaningless comfortable grunts.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you, Dwayne. It is a merciless assault. Conversational competence is sadly and sorely neglected. Maybe there is a way to encourage schools to do something about it. I'll likely write about this topic again. We might consider doing so together. Eventually, someone in the inner circles of education may listen. Kathleen

[lucylou]

My acting coach suggested not using the word GREAT either.
How was your weekend? Great! In the end, he states, what does it MEAN, anyway????
Fill in the blanks, give us some rich detail...

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Lucylou: "How are you?" and "How was your weekend?" are often asked out of courtesy without the expectation of a response other than "Fine" or, as you pointed out, "Great." But your coach must be one of those people who actually wants to know how your weekend went. Of course, if you talked on and on about it, you'd violate the unstated rule of brevity. And you'd have the opposite problem. Language is tricky and fascinating. K

[munin0]

"Like" is not a meaning-free filler word. It is used to concisely modify the meaning of the succeeding phrase.

- "He like says..." means "This isn't a direct quote, I'm paraphrasing."
- "I'm like, OK, whatever." means that the following phrase is a concise stand-in for a much more complicated state of being/emotions which does not need to be elucidated due to our shared backgrounds (as is much of language, in fact). It also means that the phrase wasn't actually spoken or thought.
- "Like I'm gonna..." conveys mild sarcasm.
- "...like get all upset and stuff." means that the following is one of many options ("for example").

Other uses exist. Certainly all of these uses could be conveyed in more traditional forms, but as concisely? Although its many uses all stem from its original meaning of ambiguity and imprecision, its actual use is precise and well-defined.

Yes, it behooves younger speakers to learn the jargons of other communities (older speakers, academic papers, etc.) just as it behooves a traveler to learn the differences of other communities' speech (lift, torch, brilliant, etc.). But within their own community, the use of "like" serves a diverse and useful purpose, enabling a concise conveyance of meaning. That's what language is.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Munino: There's a book in here somewhere. These translations are interesting. Unfortunately, "like," "stuff," and "everything" are often fillers. The book could sort out youth speak intentions and whether language is drifting away from those. K

[txkayrose]

I ahve to confess to using 'like' and all the rest more than I should. Usually in a very animated conversation in casual settings. But my parents were adamant that my brother and I learn not just good grammar, but also when it was appropriate (or mandatory) to use it. I have been largely successful at passing this on to my son.
Fortunately for me, most of his friends' parents follow the same reasoning.
I would hate ot have to smother him over talking like the folks behind us at a "family" restaurant last night. I thought I was, like, gonna hurl or sumpin(?), y'know?

[neurogrl]

My grandmother would always point out mispronounced and misused words and it would annoy me when I was younger. I'm part of the transition generation that started using like every other word. Now, I realize the difference between sounding ridculous and sounding intelligent and only rarely use like anymore (at least consciously). I've noticed that I don't take people as seriously when they don't bother to use proper grammer or enunciate their words, simply because poor language doesn't convey a sense of importance when one is speaking. If you don't care enough to convey the concept clearly, then why should I listen? One thing I've noticed when teaching undergraduates to write research articles, is that they still use this poor language when writing. They write how they talk, which can be great when writing certain types of fiction, but is painful when trying to convey scientific ideas.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Txkayrose and neurogrl: You were fortunate to have parents and a grandmother who raised your awareness to mispronounced and misused words. I have long appreciated my father's efforts too. K

[67bug]

Here's another one, the use of "all." Example: "I heard this loud noise and I'm all 'What was that?'" Where in the world did this come from? "He's all 'Whatever!'"

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

I hate this one too. K

[dynagirl]

For an intelligent analysis of usage and meanings of "like" as an interjection, I recommend Geoff Nunberg's essay on the subject: http://people.ischool.berkeley.edu/~nunberg/like.html

[idsardi]

A comprehensive study of this phenomenon will be published in February:
(to appear). Sali A. Tagliamonte. Be like: the new quotative of English. The New Sociolinguistics Reader. Nikolas Coupland and Adam Jaworski (eds.) Palgrave/Macmillan.
Scheduled publication date: Feb. 20, 2009

As with most linguistic usage issues, personal preferences for or against a construction (such as "be like") have absolutely nothing to do with how communicatively effective the construction is.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Interesting. But it isn't true that people who use "like" often in their speech are able to "shut it down" as needed. I've worked at length with students on this. Many of them are desperate to lose the word, and others too. Habits have a way of sticking. Thanks for this link. K

[WhatsLeft]

So she goes, like, why are you, like so sad? And I go, like don't you know, like, how it was like so hard? and then she goes.....

If your kids actually say "said" instead of "goes" good for you. I would ask my children where they "go" .

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

WhatsLeft: "Goes" is another major problem. I'm going to make my car a "goes-free zone" too. Thanks for reminding me. K

[Paradym]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Language is spiraling down to stylized street slang, influenced either by a bastardization of Valley Girl speak or hip hop Ebonics. "Like", "as if", "you know", "whatever"; "you know what I'm sayin'", "aight", "I is", "we was"... and the increasing use of double-negatives and trailing "and so..." at the end of a sentence with no follow-up.

On the rare occasion that I respond to exactly what someone actually said, such as when a double-negative is used (i.e.: "I ain't got not money" - "Really? How much do you have, then?"), the usual response is, "You know what I meant". So, instead of you communicating your point accurately, I am supposed to translate for you and then have respect for your viewpoint?

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Paradym: You're right. We live in an era of "you know what I meant." Between two teenagers that may be a problem, but at work and in government it can become a reason for gross errors. We've surely seen some of that. Thanks for this, Paradym.

[carrieanna]

Haha, I actually picked up the "like" habit b/c I would make fun of the Valley Girl way of speaking. Then it stuck. Now even my dad inserts "like" into his speech. I agree that I'm aware of how I sound and it's embarassing. I keep telling myself that one day I'll give it up.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Carrieanna: Start now. As a professor, I pick up errant word habits too. If I don't get rid of them quickly, they stick. Inserting a pause now and then, instead of the word, is a great start. Maybe your dad will join you. My students always let me know if I'm slipping into speech habits. It's a team approach. Best, K

[motoGpifupleez]

...or when a politician says "Listen" or "uuuh"

[Motherunit]

Corporate culture-speak and buzzwords are worse. It's like slang, but without the cool. I recently deciphred company-wide email from our CEO. Near as I could figure, this is what he was trying to say: "We just laid off a bunch of people here at corporate. We'll be looking at you guys next. Get back to work."

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Both what you wrote, motoGpifupleez, and Motherunit hint of dishonesty by these people. At the very least these are examples of evasive speech. That is another problem. Surely another blog. There's so much blue smoke out there and a whole lot of bait and switch. And those are just a couple of ways to not say what is meant or do what is promised.

[blindjester]

The way young people talk has absolutely nothing to do with schools. It is not about education. It's not about being told "what's right."

People talk in accordance with their social group, and are absolutely resistant to change. Tons of research on that. (I know brilliant people who know full well that "We was..." and "I seen it" are grammatically incorrect, but they still talk that way because they grew up that way.) Check out historical campaigns against "Um..." and "you know?" to see how trying to change speech patterns is doomed to failure.

It's useless bemoaning it. You might as well complain about people changing lanes without using their blinkers...

But I'll confess that I can't stand the mostly consonant-free version of "All right?" (A-i-ght?), the use of "woot" and "pwn" in adult conversation, and the trend of naming an error or accident as a "fail."

Ugh. Can we get rid of those?

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

Blindjester: I think schools have a lot to do with it. They let it continue and then send students to people like me trying to teach them about communication and negotiation only to have to wade through garbage speak. Employers get frustrated. They should speak up too. They should tell young people who work for them to speak well (rather than fail to promote them). And the older ones should set an example.

I do agree that we speak as our social group speaks. So, perhaps we need to help kids become bi-lingual. They can have social speech and school/work speech. Yes, I think we can get rid of the ones you dislike too. Thanks.

[NotEvenAmerican]

Like, like like like LIKE LIKE - ARGGHHHHHHHH

It makes my head want to explode.

Sorry, like explode.

[Kathleen Reardon - Huffpost Blogger]

NotEvenAmerican: Me too! It makes me like crazy and stuff and I'm soooooo gonna say so! Best of luck avoiding hearing it out there. K

[stevesrant]

Children don't speak clearly or correctly? How about every canditate in this year's election? Their enunciation/pronunciation was horrendous. Every one of them says "gonna". The worst was Sen. Palin, the best by far was Sen. Biden; he sounded like a brilliant intellectual by comparison, actually pronouncing the 'ing' on most words! My son thinks 'gonna' is in the dictionary by now (he may be right}, and language IS an evolving entity...