Body Politics: The Source Of McCain's Odd Body Language, And The Gift It Brings

Never mind that when John McCain smiles, it looks about as warm and inviting as a moonlit New England country graveyard.

Never mind that he exhibits more twitches, tics and jaw-clenches than the night shift at a meth lab.

Never mind that he's started having prison-camp flashbacks such as addressing the citizens of a rally as "My fellow prisoners."

A long campaign and economic uncertainty can stress out anyone, whether he's a 72-year-old presidential candidate or just some average retirement-age guy who's trying to keep nine houses and a dozen cars running in tough economic times.

However, when he came out with his recent macho swagger about fear, we felt it was time to intervene. Specifically, he gave a prescription for fear that is dangerous. It's a method of dealing with fear that will drive you nuts if it doesn't kill you first. If you missed the actual quote, he said, "I know what fear feels like...I know what hopelessness feels like. I felt those things once before. I WILL NEVER LET THEM IN AGAIN..."

Straight-Talk Expresso
We feel compassion for him and the circumstances that brought him to make the fateful choice to seal out his emotions. It's a serious problem for him health-wise, but when he seeks to inflict it on the rest of us, it's time to set him straight. Here's a shot of straight-talk expresso for John McCain: When you won't let yourself to feel your natural, organic feeling of fear, you get out of touch with reality. If you won't acknowledge the existence of fear, you can't tell the difference between what you're really scared about and what you think you're scared about. You don't have a clue about what's going on inside you. You don't know whether there's a real threat out there or just something your mind is making up. You think life is dangerous, but the reality is just the opposite: you're dangerous to life.

Being driven by fear forces McCain/Palin to run a campaign based on fear. Their goal is not to convince people that they have a better plan for the future, but to make people scared to vote for the other guy.

There are a lot of things people are scared about right now:
•They're scared about losing their homes.
•They're scared about losing their jobs.
•They're scared the Republicans are going to steal the election. In fact, we've heard several people say that they're praying for a landslide, because otherwise the Republicans will find some way to steal it. If you think that's slightly paranoid, you're probably not a Democrat.

McCain/Palin want us to forget about our real fears and focus on something unreal. McCain/Palin want us to be scared about what they want us to be scared about. They have an advantage, because the things they want us to be scared about are a lot more fun than the things we're really scared about:
•McCain/Palin want us to be scared that Obama is "the other,"
not like us, not a real American.
•They want us to be scared that Obama might secretly worship another god.
•They want us to be scared that Obama pals around with terrorists and gets his spiritual counsel from an America-hating minister.

It's more fun to be scared about those things because it gives you the opportunity to blame somebody else for the fear. When you point the finger at someone else, it relieves the pressure inside you. If we're scared about those things, maybe we'll forget about what we're really scared about. McCain/Palin are saying: it's a jungle out there, folks, and let's make sure we keep it that way.

As budding psychotherapists 35 years ago, we were taught the essentials of how to help our clients deal with fear. The key principle can be stated simply: what you resist, persists. If you hold fear at arm's length, if you seal it out of your awareness, you sentence yourself to living every moment in a prison of fear. The more you try to seal it out, the more it pervades your life. The stonewall barrier McCain has proudly built to keep out his fear makes him a prisoner inside his own arrogance. His stubborn unwillingness to let in the normal human emotion of fear makes him propelled by it. In the Pink Floyd phrase, he's "blown on the steel breeze."

This much we can tell you from working up-close with more than twenty thousand people: The only real solution to fear is to let yourself acknowledge it and feel it until it dissipates. Fear is natural. Your body spent hundreds of thousands of years perfecting it. It's there to tell you important things like these:
There's a potential threat--pay attention.
There's a problem I don't have a solution to--look for one quick!

When you're scared, look to see if there's a real threat. Figure out what the problem is and get creative about solving it. Get good at distinguishing between real threats and imaginary threats we make up in our minds. Don't use the McCain Prescription for fear, by shutting it out of your awareness. For the sake of his health and for the safety of the rest of us, he should take counsel from another war hero, Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf: "Any man who doesn't cry scares me a little." That's a piece of useful wisdom, and it points to why John McCain scares a lot of people.

If we could counsel John McCain at this moment in history, when he has squandered much of the honor and good will Americans used to grant him, we'd embrace him, look him in the eye and say this:
"Go ahead and let yourself feel scared. It's normal, it's human and it helps you connect with the rest of us. When you feel scared, let yourself feel it. Breathe with it. Dance with it. Above all, don't tempt the universe by shaking a fist at fear and saying that you will not acknowledge its existence. Doing that puts you on a collision course with the forces of nature, like shaking your fist at thunder and saying you're never going to listen to it again. Instead, let your fear in. Speak about it to the ones you love. If you're out in public, speak about it to them, too. Ultimately, love is the best cure for fear. If you really want to have a great relationship with yourself and other people, love your fear just as it is, and watch the miracles that unfold as a result."

What happens when you let yourself feel your fear is that it opens up a direct connection to your creativity. The more you're willing to open up and embrace your fear, the more creativity flows through you. We would never have believed that remarkable fact until we experienced the truth of it ourselves and saw it work its magic on many other people.

An Integrity Problem
Being cut off from fear or any emotion puts you out of integrity with yourself. As one our mentors, Jack Downing, M.D., put it, "Integrity glitches cause body twitches." The source of John McCain's odd display of twitches, jaw-clenches and chilly grins is a fault-line gap of integrity at the center of himself, a place where he has cut himself off from fear and the rest of us. He wants to become a super hero, The Man Without Fear. That's not a bad idea for a cartoon, but in real life it would be a disaster. In real life, we need real heroes, people who are willing to acknowledge fear and look within it, to the gift it brings.

The gift fear brings is the opportunity to love it and thereby grow our capacity for love and creativity. Sometimes our fears get so great that love is the only thing that will put those fears to rest. We all need to become experts at dealing with fear right now. We need to let ourselves feel our fears in a spirit of loving acceptance, so that our willingness to embrace our fears opens the floodgates of creativity that we will need to solve the problems we all face.

There's a lot of fear in the air right now to deal with. To make matters worse, the McCain/Palin campaign is working overtime to increase the amount of fear in our lives. McCain/Palin's handlers know that the more scared they can make people, the more easily people can be manipulated into voting against their own interests and good judgment.

John McCain has been roundly criticized of late for sowing seeds of fear and hate. It's going to be hard to talk him out of that tactic, though, because it got George W. Bush elected twice. We don't know yet if McCain will change tactics again and try to convince us that the pit bulls he's unleashed are actually nice puppy dogs. We should be skeptical of this tactic, though, because as the old saying goes, you can take the lipstick off a pit bull, but it's still a hockey mom underneath, or something like that.

Follow Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks on Twitter: www.twitter.com/GayHendricks

Comments

[grailknight]

Nietzsche said not to cast out you demons, lest you throw away the best part of yourself.

[booboomagoo]

so, are they saying that my son who has tics has - "Integrity glitches cause body twitches."
so, people with tourettes have integrity problems?

it's just mean.

that makes no sense.

[Elagins]

i think what they're saying is that 'integrity gitches' are just one cause of tics and twitches, not that they're the *only* cause. most likely your son's tics come from other, neurological, causes.

[GHendricks]

Dr. Downing was referring to tics of non-neurological origin. There are many different causes for tics. Conditions such as Tourette's are generally considered of neurological origin.

[PeepingTom]

oh god.

[emelysma]

Some very great comments about the emotional health involved in acknowledging all feelings, including fear, allowing them to inform you, not dictate to or overwhelm you and responding responsibly.

[SColbert]

Wow, I love this article. Good job.

[oceanofink]

"...might secretly worship another God..."

For those with little background in Islam, Allah is the same God who spoke to Abraham, as well as Moses, and who gave Jesus "as a Word" to the world.

Muslims do not worship a different God from Christians and Judaists. They believe in a different messenger, Mohammed, whose recitations were intended to "clarify" earlier revelations. In fact, liberal scholarly Islam recognizes a number of prophets, including the Buddha, but only a few messengers (Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Mohammed) - the difference being, messengers are prophets who were given a part of the Book.

[BlondeLebanese]

I think that maybe McCain/Palin would like folks to believe it is another God. After all, any point that they can make to drive the wingnuts is valid.

McCain/Palin are anti-American.

[PeepingTom]

Buddha was a prophet?

[DinSea]

What a great article - expertly written. I was just trying to figure a way to get this topic discussed because it is the single factor that most inhibits our evolution as a species. FEAR equals the opposite of health. As in all things, when managed, it can serve us. But every negative thought, action, behavior, dogma, etc. can be boiled down to this core element. Fear equals DARK and dense; i.e. unevolved. The more layers of fear we can conquer, the more healthy we are, and by the way, the less threatened we are by ... well ... anything. As our brother, John Lennon, said, "Imagine."

VOTE HOPE -- OBAMA '08

[rowzeer]

If he can't control his body language in a televised debate with a fellow American...how can we expect him to do it in a closed door negotiation with another head of state.

[DinSea]

And if he addresses a local crowd as "my fellow prisoners" just think of what might slip out in a delicate situation. This is beyond unacceptable.

[Sassys]

This is a great piece!! I would also like to point out that it is not just McCain and Palin who are spreading fear and using it as their tactic...they learned it from BUSH!!! So they perpetuate it because it seemed to work, not once but twice, and it helped elect the biggest fool this country has ever had for president!
And speaking of body language, my 19 year old son is convinced that whenever McCain does that evil grin he calls his "smile" he looks just like the Joker from Batman!!

[osusana]

Don't overlook the contributions of Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney in the spreading of fear...he's a master at it!

[ccpostman]

What's for Dinner?

Forked Tongue!

[joanjourne]

Hahaha, how apt. (but, K. & G., the word is 'espresso'!)

[nervousexpat]

I'm quite sure that's a play on the "Straight Talk Express(o)"

[bonchesva]

John McCain seems very uncomfortable in his own skin. He has shifty eyes which is a good indicator as to whether or not you can trust someone. He looked extremely uncomfortable at times during the dinner he and Obama both attended last Thursday evening.

[worriedinvt]

All of which leads me back to my most frequently asked question about McCain, which is: does he suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and has he ever received treatment for this? It's a question that has to be asked with the unique powers of the presidency in the balance. How statistically likely is it that he has this condition, whether diagnosed or not; and what could the rising statistical probability that he might develop dementia while in office mean for a man already saddled with a chronic mental illness like PTSD?
I want to know what the experts think about this "perfect storm" scenario.

[MisterCranky]

"More jaw-clenches than the night shift at a meth lab?" Who writes things like that?

[Modok]

somebody whose witty and observant?

[dutchgirl55]

Somebody who writes with flair and imagination?

[DinSea]

HA! That was pure poetry in literature! I love it.

[Waldo9981]

Not to be a spoilsport (I'll be voting for Obama) but as a former newspaper photographer who shot basketball in the 1980's, I can tell you that, at his best, Michael Jordan had his mouth lolling out of his mouth while dribbling (the ball) and shooting.

[RazzesMe]

...and McCain was simply trying to find his chair. Yikes.

[streetkid5]

How does one have his MOUTH lolling out of his MOUTH? The GOP talking heads are saying this is John's way of goofing around. I'm sure BHO was cracking up with laughter.

[hrayovac]

I heartily disagree with the authors. A president will be aware of that which scares others and will know how to bring out the best in people by affirming what makes us strong and fear -proof. What makes us strong gives us all confidence that no matter what obstacle is set before us it will not spell the end of the earth...that is, unless it actually IS the end of the earth. In that case a good president will fight with every tool they have available sacrificing their own life to save others. There is no introspection or weepy "get in touch with your own fears, admitting you're scared" stuff in the job description for president. Perhaps after the fact, a president may view their actions and conclude that they were scared but NOT DURING their time serving in office, for God's sake!

[KayWrites]

True heroism is being scared, knowing it, and doing what has to be done anyway.

Crazy is not being scared when it's appropriate to be scared.

Given the times we live in, it's appropriate to be scared. Even the next President.

If John McCain isn't scared, THAT scares me.

[drawde]

I think you mix up denying fear and accepting fear with showing panic. Sensing fear and dealing with it in a sensible way is what a president should be capable off. He or she should not panic. And what nonsense of talking about the end of the earth. And what is good in being 'fear proof'? It is no more than denying fear which is impossible and thus replaced by reacting in a irrational pre-programmed way.

The message says Listen to your heart and act responsible. Not ' Listen to your heart and freak out'!

[Soulizard]

You say you disagree with the authors, but it seems to me that in order for a president to effectively do the things you propose here, they would do well to follow the very advice you disagree with. You say a president "will be aware of that which scares others and will know how to bring out the best in people by affirming what makes us strong and fear proof". How is he supposed to be aware of these things without being in touch with his own fear? I think you are mistaking the notion of being in touch with fear with the condition of being overwhelmed or ruled by fear. As the authors suggest, being aware of fear can provide uniquely innovative solutions and energy. Being overwhelmed by fear is NOT being in touch with it; it is being ruled by it. This can manifest as being overtly reactive and frightened in bearing, or, as the authors suggest, it can manifest as a false "I have no fear, I am THAT powerful" persona. The thing is, the person who takes the second route (as I think John McCain has) is no less ruled by fear than the overtly frightened person, and is no less cut off from the creative energy being in touch with fear brings, and which our next president absolutely needs.

[Sassys]

NO you could not be more wrong here!!! When a presidential candidate allows his own campaign to use fear as a basis to "win over" anyone it is sure to back fire. The fact that McCains own fear is showing by his own actions tells me that he is NOT CAPABLE! Obama on the other hand shows by his demeanor that he can take on anything and it makes me believe he is CAPABLE...Get it? Huh? When McCain shows his ANGER it also tells me that he is not CAPABLE of maintaining his cool in a debate let alone as the President of the USA. Fear leads to things like "civil unrest" and the fact that McCain thinks it's ok to allow his campaign to ride on this type of fear is almost criminal in its intent.
So to say "A President will be aware of that which scares others" Sure, but a candidate that USES that very same fear is not to be trusted. PERIOD! So hrayovac you must learn to control your anger, it's showing up as fear!

[DinSea]

..."almost criminal in its intent." THANK YOU for this. Domestic terrorism is incubating at McCain gatherings. I cannot believe he is allowed to get away with this.

[crutnacker]

McCain looks less like the confident man he used to and more like a man who is seeing either his integrity or his destiny slipping away. To me the fair comparison is Hilary Clinton. The Presidency was THEIR RIGHT and now some upstart is trying to take it away.

[Modok]

umm, no.

[weatherwaxx]

Do you know about the psych term "projection?" I've seen this applied to Hillary so often, and it's usually by people who think it's their candidate who 'deserves' the office. One columnist even called McCain Bush's "rightful heir." Um. No. This is not a monarchy, even if we've had George III for the past 8 years.