A male friend of mine said his worst middle school memory is when he called a girl to ask her out and her mom grabbed the phone and said to stop calling her.
That's what happened to me on Facebook this week. I swear I was trying to friend real live people I know -- people I met at Occupy Wall Street and in New York at my comedy show who don't have any friends in common with me on Facebook but who I had actual human exchanges with that involved the use of mouths, vocal chords, brain synapses, and shared political camaraderie, a borrowing of pens, signs, witticisms, hand warmers, and probably a sharing of beers though I don't remember due to the sheer enthusiasm of being present with real live people! But Facebook deemed me a stalker and cut me off from friending anyone for seven days. And once you're on that community watch list, you're flagged for life. It's the NSA of relationships -- the crotch-frisking TSA who is thrilled to have finally caught someone doing something even if it's just sneaking Chapstick through security. The algorithm of supposed stalkers has led to my being virtually alone (pun intended).
And more to the point, why is it only okay to friend your friend's friends?!?! Is this 7th grade?!?!
"Why are you talking to them?" the popular girl demands.
"Um, cuz they were nice?" I sheepishly answer. I flip my hair, just to look innocent and fit in. Then I reluctantly ignore the new friend, suddenly aware that my standing with the popular girls is in jeopardy.
Seven days. I thought that was bad. But today when my seven days were up, like the curious or perhaps more accurately masochistic person that I am, I decided to experiment and test my precarious situation. I friended people who were - ready for this? -- suggested to me as people I might want to friend by Facebook! And like a recovered crack addict who leaves jail only to celebrate freedom that night with, why not?, a little crack, I just couldn't help it. I friended them. The result? Another 14 days back in the half-way house. Agh! Is this what my adult life has come to? Is Facebook really in a position to take away my car keys and TV privileges? This is like the best Firm Parenting Class for teens ever. Facebook does not get tired or annoyed and cave in, and there's no way for me to contest it. What's an anti-authority political satirist to do?
When I Googled "Facebook blocked me from friending people they suggested" I got three million results. And isn't that really the beauty of Facebook? To know you're not alone? Ah... I feel better already. But if only I had any real skills, I could start a new social networking site for these millions of potential friends! Like the Island of Misfit Toys: We would be rejected but we'd be together. Which is all I wanted in the first place!
Facebook is now standing in the way of my making friends in the real world because we agreed to friend each other on Facebook. All those great people I was looking forward to getting to know, seeing what their work is, sharing links with, they are dead to me since I am dead to Facebook. So. Feel free to friend me. I can confirm your friendship. I just cannot initiate the offering of the candy to you small innocent children from my unmarked van... Just be careful you don't friend my friends... until I'm your friend. And even then...
Or, um, call me?
Katie Goodman is a musical comic who's show, "I Didn't F*ck It Up," is running in New York City. www.katiegoodman.com
I have a similar problem and I am just really annoyed that I cannot find anybody to review the issues.
This seems to be the customer complaint I see all over. So now we have facebook, Amazon, Apple - all cool companies with cool products. But there is nobody on the other side.
Where is the customer service in this? There is not even an outsourced company in "wherever" to call.
We need a new social media company that can use what we're used to and turn it into a "customer friendly" company. The first one that comes along with these features will get my business and loyalty.
My daughter committed suicide last year. Before she left us she gave us access to her Facebook account where she wrote her final goodbyes to us. Her entries detailed the inner turmoil she endured. She wanted us to know, maybe we could find some peace in her solution.
I read as much as I could bear but I left most to come back to when I was stronger.
Through her Facebook account I passed the sad news on to her many friends. And over this past year I have received great love and support from them as we have helped each other grieve her loss. Then, the day after her birthday, after receiving an overwhelming number of messages from her friends who knew I would be in great pain on this day - Facebook blocked access to the account.
I learned anyone can have anybody' account blocked by reporting them deceased. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A FAMILY MEMBER! You don't need to know them or be a 'friend.' Her words were a treasure to us - Facebook stole them from us. Now Facebook has broken heart my anew.
Most people don’t know to print out or save electronic copies of their online social networking account contents. Every single word and picture posted on Facebook or any such website are as perishable as the classified ads we used to post in local newspapers. People should hold absolute no illusion that these website operators have the will, ability, or interest in saving all the content for you. In fact, these contents are more a burden to them than treasure. All they care to get out of holding these contents for people is the traffic and ad dollars they generate.
Ironically though, every such website do have archive copies of all such content kept indefinitely into the future. But they hold these archives purely for legal and internal “just-in-case” purposes only, but they will never let you near it unless you get a court to order them to release it.
I deleted my facebook account. I had it for one week, and it became too self-absorbing. I'd like it better if Facebook anly allows you online for a certain amount of time a day.