Anyone who has ever been caught with his pants down knows it's easier to look up to Jesus than it is to squat down into a lotus position. So Brit Hume, Fox News commentator and moonlighting theologian, is urging the troubled Tiger Woods to mend his skirt-chasing and om-chanting ways...

• Diaz isn't a bigot @Markos! Didn't u know some of his best friends & relatives are gay? He <3's the gays just not enough 2 give 'em = rights 


• gay marriage fails In NY? I expect this in Alabama but NY? So much 4 our northeast...

The Health Care vote in the house was close. And it still needs to pass the Senate. Poor branding, such as the term Public Option, didn't help the cause.  But it's not too late to win the support of  Republican enemies and the Teabaggers who control them.  I submit ...

for more, visit KatieHalper.com

1. Put on a bunch of fake blood, carry a cane or crutches, draw on what look like home-made stiches. You're... the opt out to the public option.
Put a pillow under shirt and carry a bunch of baby dolls. You're...

A controversy has erupted recently about whether Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is actually a Jew. Pundits and professors alike are divided over whether his original last name, which his family changed when he was 4, is exclusively Jewish. I attended Camp Havanagila, a Zionist summer camp in...

Like my fellow American patriots, I refuse to sit by while the Nazi Marxist President sends storm troops of Dr Mengeles to pull the plug on millions of grannies. Just keep out of our persona lives. My health care is my business and it's between me myself and I(nsurance companies.)...

Democratic Senator Blanche Lincoln and Republican Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger may not be in the same...

Political scientists and historians from Rush Limbaugh to Sean Hannity to Lyndon LaRouche to that woman with short brown hair who, I deduce, must be a scholar of German history, are comparing Obama to Hitler and his likening his health care plan to Nazism....

In its response to the events of Honduras, the Obama Administration is acting like a CT (Coup-tease), whose commitment phobia and intimacy issues render it paralyzed and unable to engage in a healthy relationship with Latin America. The Administration flirts with the idea that the coup is really a coup,...

Expert economist and seasoned diplomat* Jon Voight isn't the only one on to the "fellow who's bringing us to chaos and socialism." All you have to do is look at Obama's trip to the Middle East to see his darker, more Muslimer, elitister, and inexperienceder side.

*Voight's experience...

Meticulously anal pundits, like Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh, intellectual heavy weights Tom Tancredo, and ex-convict/current actor/ radio personality G. Gordon Liddy have exposed Judge Sotomayor for what she really is: a KKK-supporting, racist, menstruator/pre-menstruator who hates white people and speaks to aliens.

Everyone is speculating about the ways Sotomayor's personal background will compromise her judicial integrity. I mean, it's pretty hard to hold a gavel while eating arroz con pollo, let alone while having a vagina. Here is a list of some glimpses into the personal...

1. Throw Mama From the Train (self explanatory)
2. Sophie's Choice (most painful choice ever + holocaust = what's not to love)
...

Run into first friend, Mercedes, whose mother is in the New York City Labor Chorus. Mercedes tells me her mother Rona says "Joan Baez is a doll."

On...

Prince Harry has been all over the headlines lately. Last week we--and he--learned that his five-year relationship with  girlfriend, Chelsea Davy ended after Chelsea announced it on Facebook. Only weeks before that, footage of the Prince calling a fellow army cadet "Paki" was released. And...

Dear Rahm,

You're not really my type [sorry, I forgot to ask if you were sitting down. You're married anyway, and she loves you enough to convert for you, so you'll get over it.] But when you rock your debonair, very non-nebbishy je ne sais quois ( lo...