Darrell Issa's Ominous Past & Twitter Avatar: Top 10 reasons Issa is the perfect Obama watchdog

Don't let Darrell Issa's verbal ineptitude or crime-ridden past fool you: The last person Obama wants investigating him is the cunning California congressman who is the incoming chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. When Issa called Obama "one of the most corrupt presidents in modern times" he was speaking from experience and with authority. Issa's background in auto theft and the auto alarm business, makes him a dangerous double threat, a cop AND robber, whose crime-dar enables him to sniff out corruption in ways the more law-abiding among us can't even imagine. I don't mean to knock Issa's fellow Republicans, many of whom have their own impressive criminal record: grand larceny (stealing money from the poor/working class/ middle class and giving it to the rich); rape (of the planet); attempted murder (repealing healthcare); I could go on but I don't have all day, and neither, dear readers, do you. But Issa's thuggery is unique because it precedes his taking office and isn't legitimized through technically legal policy. Here are the 10 reasons Issa should have Obama quaking in his boots.

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Issa packs heat

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Issa was arrested twice on illegal weapons charges and was convicted of a gun possession misdemeanor in the 1970s. (Cops pulled him over after he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and found a .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol with seven bullets in its ammunition clip, as well as 44 bullets and a tear-gas gun.) In the 1980's, Issa took over a security company whose manager he fired with the aid of a gun. Issa claims "Shots were never fired. . . . I don't recall [having a gun]. I really don't. I don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life." Here, Issa seems to pose the age-old philosophical question, if a gun is brandished and no shots are fired, is there really a gun? And in all fairness, who can keep track of whether or not they've pulled a gun on anyone in their life. I, personally, don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life, but you can never be sure, am I right, people? Anyway, you can't call Issa a hypocrite because he opposes gun control.

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Issa was arrested twice on illegal weapons charges and was convicted of a gun possession misdemeanor in the 1970s. (Cops pulled him over after he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and found a .25-caliber semiautomatic pistol with seven bullets in its ammunition clip, as well as 44 bullets and a tear-gas gun.) In the 1980's, Issa took over a security company whose manager he fired with the aid of a gun. Issa claims "Shots were never fired. . . . I don't recall [having a gun]. I really don't. I don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life." Here, Issa seems to pose the age-old philosophical question, if a gun is brandished and no shots are fired, is there really a gun? And in all fairness, who can keep track of whether or not they've pulled a gun on anyone in their life. I, personally, don't think I ever pulled a gun on anyone in my life, but you can never be sure, am I right, people? Anyway, you can't call Issa a hypocrite because he opposes gun control.

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Follow Katie Halper on Twitter: www.twitter.com/kthalps

Comments

[upstatebabe]

05:13 PM on 01/17/2011

There are only two Twitter icons that would scream "Law and Order" to me. One is Sam Waterston and the other would be the late, great Jerry Orbach.

[captainpoco]

12:42 PM on 01/12/2011

Seems to me that he perfectly represents a large section of the American public. Though that section is not allowed to vote in certain states.

[upstatebabe]

05:12 PM on 01/17/2011

Ha!

[PMouse]

04:14 PM on 01/10/2011

Issa clearly belongs in jail, not in Congress (or is there a difference? Yes, more crooks in DC than in all the prisons in the USA)

[Teplogazservice]

11:52 AM on 01/09/2011

I love your...

[rini]

07:03 PM on 01/08/2011

This post is great. Why is Issa's history not common knowledge? How did he ever get elected? (Ok, I should be tired of asking that question after the recent elections..but...)

[JackRusselTerrier]

05:24 PM on 01/08/2011

What a sad example for a representative of the people. With reps like this, it is no wonder our country is in such bad shape.

[Jillian Barclay]

01:31 AM on 01/08/2011

Love it! I wanted to see more! Issa has not stopped his questioable behavior. In 2009, he bought property and even though there were other buyers who would have paid up to $11.5 million, the bank sold it to him for $8.5 million! Congressional discount? Similar to Duke Cunningham's discounts? We will see. There is a lawsuit pending.

I wanted to see his mugshots!

[fromdnorth]

04:35 PM on 01/07/2011

Let me get it: The voters voted for Scott, Issa and the GOP voted Issa to be Chairman?

My little Canadian head is hurting...

[2morrowknight]

08:57 AM on 01/07/2011

This is awesome, as usual! I love your humor.

[rini]

07:04 PM on 01/08/2011

It's funny.

But not funny. If you know what I mean.

[Intelligentia]

08:40 PM on 01/06/2011

Well, we better tell Obama to sleep with his eyes open!! We finally got one here who is going to bring Obama down!!!! Yeah, right!. No amount of hype is going to change who this Issa guy is. He is the least of Obama's worries, because he is not smart enough. Empty drums always make the loudest noise. By the way, how is Congresswoman Maxine Waters' ethics investigation going???? I noticed the media have become reticent since the outcome they expected did not materialize. From what I have heard, the good Congressman now has the barking dogs running; but, the media won't report on that. If Issa messes with Obama just to make noise, Issa "shall" be running too, because Obama will eat him for lunch!

[studioh!]

05:11 PM on 01/07/2011

he can rest easy - he just needs to get a whitehouse viper.

[NovElection]

07:23 PM on 01/06/2011

All charges were dismissed.Try harder.

[Intelligentia]

08:32 PM on 01/06/2011

How? Why? Based on a deal as a cooperating witness?

[Katie Halper]

12:33 AM on 01/07/2011

And that misdemeanor gun charge? Research harder.

[YeahDonkey]

12:01 AM on 01/09/2011

The Fox search engine only mentions the ones that were dismissed.

[jdrourke]

05:49 PM on 01/06/2011

Nice job, Katie Halper! Funny and yet upsetting at the same time. Issa is the perfect example of hypocrisy at work within our congress.

http://jdrourke.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/dear-darrell-issa/

[1088]

04:12 PM on 01/06/2011

Issa is loved and respected by the media, simply because he hates President Obama.

[RenoSage]

05:04 PM on 01/07/2011

Are you saying "Everybody loves a Hater?" I don't think so. It would take FAUX to laud Issa.