The Real Tragedy Behind Craig's arrest: The Death of The Singing Senators

Today is a terrible day for America, public bathrooms, a cappella music everywhere. The arrest of Senator Larry Craig by an undercover police officer for lewd conduct in a public men's bathroom is the final nail in the coffin in which rots the once vibrant barbershop quartet known as the Singing Senators. Also called the Vocal Majority, the Singing Senators, or SS, consisted of John Ashcroft, baritone; Trent Lott, bass; Jim Jeffords, tenor; and Larry Craig, lead.

The quartet's beginning were as humble as the senators themselves. They started out harmonizing to "Happy Birthday" at the birthday party of fellow Republican senator Bob Packwood, a framee in his own right, who would be forced to resign over sexual harassment charges based on bogus evidence like his diary and accusations from 11 different people. The crooners had their formal debut at the Kennedy Center and then went on to record an album Let Freedom Sing in Nashville and perform on The Today Show. As their popularity skyrocketed, the SS started performing more frequently, raising millions of dollars for Republican causes and charities. They may have sounded in tune, but something was out of key. And that was Jim Jeffords, who became an Independent, betraying not only the GOP but the SS. Days before Jeffords defected, a hopeful Lott predicted Jefford would stay in the party "After all, I mean, what would we do in the future about the Singing Senators? We need Jim to be part of that harmony." But Jeffords abandoned the quartet, and in a flash the Singing Senators were over, a blast from the past. Lott never saw it coming.

But Craig would not be silenced and, the quartet's lead, used to leading, launched a solo career, writing his own songs, the most notable perhaps, an homage to Judge Samuel Alito, (to the tune of the West Side Story's "Maria"

The most beautiful sound I've ever heard/Alito, Alito/Alito, I just met a judge named Alito/And suddenly the name will never be the same/Alito, Bush just picked a judge named Alito/Alito, say it proud, that Republican saying/Say it soft and there's Democrats praying/Alito, may the Senate confirm Alito.

Singing was just to fun for this senator to give up. As Craig explained to Senator John Thune, whom he tried to recruit to the SS, "You've got to let your hair down and enjoy it."

Then finally, only two months ago, on June 12, after a six-year hiatus, the Singing Senators made a comeback! Purged of the defecting Jeffords, their sound was purer and the trio was tighter. Craig explained, "We're not a quartet any longer. We're a trio, and there are a lot of good reasons for that." Singing at a fundraiser for the Congressional Coalition of Adoption Institute, the three singing senators performed "God Bless America," country and gospel tunes, and the sexy Oak Ridge Boys hit "American Made":

She looks good in her tight blue jeans /she bought in Mexico/ And she loves wearing French perfume everywhere we go/ But when it comes to the lovin' heart/ one thing is true/ My Baby's genuine "U.S.A."/red white and blue/ From her silky long hair to her sexy long legs/ My baby is "American Made"

The SS had performed with the Oak Ridge Boys in 1997, so singing "American Made" marked a 10 year anniversary of Christian jamming.

Here's where things get fishy. This reunion show took place on Tuesday, June 12. The arrest of Larry Craig took place on June 11th, one day before! And the arrest report was entered on June 12th, just hours before the reunion concert would kick off. A coincidence? Or a vast left-wing conspiracy? The reunion concert had to have been widely publicized through the series of tubes that is the internets. And the arrest was surely an attempt to silence Craig and the Singing Senators. The former rancher, family values conservative Idaho senator is said to have solicited gay sex in an airport bathroom. And yet, Craig is so straight, he voted for a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage(sorry, Mary Cheney), opposes including homosexuals in hate crime legislation. And he's so not gay that when he was accused of being involved in a sex scandal involing male pages he said that made him "Mad as hell."

Which sounds pretty macho to me. If he's gay, why did he preemptively release a statement saying he wasn't when he hadn't been implicated in the scandal anyway? Sheesh. What could be less gay?

It looks like someone wants to shut up the Singing Senators....only this time...for good.

The Barbershop ensemble, be it quartet or trio, is the most wholsomee, most patriotic of all American all-male a cappella singing traditions. The values, the freedom-loving, and the irresistible melodies and rthyms of the SS threaten the liberal, gay, Jewish, vegan establishment bent on bringing down America.

Well, they may be able to stop the Singing Senators. They may be able to frame Craig. They may be able to persecute Lott, destroy his porch and put racist words in his mouth. They may be able to recruit Jim Jeffords. But nothing, not even pancreatis or Gonzolezean hospital-room harassment can bring down John Ashcroft. He will sing for the Senators -- he will make the Singing Senators soar.

Comments

[MikeDu]

The way he seems to be carressing that handmike in the photo seems a bit... disquieting. And what's with those flag fetish suspenders?

[ghostsofamerica]

The Ashcroft video reminds me of something he would be proud to sing at the Bohemian Club, in honor of the Owl and the rites of the Cremation of Care, like Alex Jones video shows.

Maybe the "eagle" means the skull and bones ancient rites win over the land. Ohh. Ohh.

[ghostsofamerica]

I must confess, I have a soft spot for Ashcroft, ever since I heard Comey testify on how Ashcroft, on his near-deathbed (poisoned by Bush?), refused to give Alberto Gonzales and Bush the signature they attempted to ferret out of him, a signature to more-than-dastardly, extraConsitutional wiretapping of US citizens.


Bush did it anyway, but Ashcroft stood strong for his "eagle", who he obviously really feels for.

[amerdiaspora]

DID HE SING SOPRANO?

[Qbear]

Where's the cowboy and construction worker?

[Indiana]

LOL when I saw this post--the first thing I thought of when I heard Craig was a "Singing Senator" was the Village People:)

[oafishcad]

Too bad, he had a great vibrato.

[ghostsofamerica]

wow. Amazing footage,I never saw before.

Great article, really.


Larry Franklin of the Franklin Scandal sang for the Republicans, too.

http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2003/03/04/15796131.php

See The Conspiracy of Silence, video

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3395321338401208062


http://www.franklincase.org/silence.htm



or read Webster Tarpley's Unauthorized Biography of George H. W. Bush, on line, Omaha chapter in particular

http://www.tarpley.net/bush21.htm

[Qbear]

Larry's tapping foot is how the boys got the RYTHEM done so well, with that writhing samba beat he's a one man BOY BAND.

[drumz]

And he plays the skin flute; his or anybodies.

[NABNYC]

Re Larry Craig's arrest for tapping his foot in a public restroom:

I've always wondered why men spend so much time in the bathroom.

I've noticed that when I go out with a few couples, one of the men will say "Oh, will you excuse me, I have to use the restroom." Then immediately another man at the table will say "Yeah, me too." Then they politely tap their lips with their neatly folded napkin, place it on the table, and off they go.

Then it seems like twenty minutes go by, and I'd be sitting there thinking "WHAT ON EARTH ARE THEY DOING IN THERE?"

Now I know.

[TankerRat]

Oh! Is that ever cold NABNYC.

[JimHinCO]

Good post. :)

I think most Repubs and radical right folks think being "gay" equals beign effeminate. That would even make me "mad as hell". I play sports, I was a carpenter (built sheds), I was a roofer (damn it's HOT up there), and have even been known to wear jeans and flannel shirts (but my lesbian sister keeps stealing them...kidding!).

Masculine gay men are hot. Closeted, masculine gay (or bi) men are just desperate. You'd think some fellow Republicans would point out to them how to have sex safely and discretely.

[Qbear]

Let me guess larry Craig sang the DOWN LOW harmony.

[sugarmoes]

bada bing!

[drumz]

I thought he just hummed!

[Son of a Rich]

I always wondered why their theme song was "Looking for love in all the wrong places"...

[NoContest]

wow.

this is an amazing footnote to the craig story. outstanding......

there are so many 'discovered' republican sex offenders. And you gotta believe we are catching about 5%, right. That is a big iceberg.

I wish more rich people could follow Larry Flynts lead and pay rewards to out these freaks. One Craig is worth $100 million in '08 Campaign Ads....

Sick'em, sick the sicko's.!

~

[gala1]

there are so many 'discovered' republican sex offenders. And you gotta believe we are catching about 5%.....

----Well, the very least they could do is re-decorate the Senate.
Obviously its damned short of closets and that's always such a pain in the arras.

gala
hotmail.comotmail.com

[Steve Petrisky]

Karl Rove and Jeff Gannon.

You say bacon, I say baking.

You say homo genius. I say homogenous.

Tomay-to, tomotto
Potay-to, putatto

Let's call the hole thing off!!! Please!

[jalowe1957]

Jeff Gannon and Karl Rove -- such a fun pair.

One convincing argument for gay marriage -- after all, they truly deserve each other.

[mommamia526]

Oh, he did not confess. He just sang. O.k.

[gala1]

MOTHERS FOR ANSWERS
THE BOISE IN THE BAND

Finally, the level of investigative journalism that has been so greviously lacking during this presidency.

Although, you seem not to have heard the rumor that Senator Craig was soliciting straight sex and simply wandered into the wrong bathroom. After all, he is a Republican conservative, isn't he.

In an administration so otherwise transparent, this sort of conspiracy to silence sibilant senators doing what they do best is nothing short of tragic.

But as for Senator Craig, the Pride of Idaho, besides giving a whole new meaning to Mr.Potatohead, there lies spread-eagled a great future before him.

Fly United will be his first solo single. (The flip side is Somewhere Over the Rainbow Flag, We Left the Eagle Sore-- co-author credit going to John Ashcroft).

And as an added bonus, now the Senate can legitimately claim (well, as soon as he is sentenced) to have their first Il Divo.
And they now have a lead singer for when they set A Comedy of Errors to music.
The only way they haven't played it so far.

gala

hotmail.comotmail.com

[HeresHoping]

Excellent follow up to excellent parent post!

[twgbonehead]

"Senator Craig was soliciting straight sex and simply wandered into the wrong bathroom."

Of course; the door said "Men's" (as opposed to the ubiquitous but grammatical disaster, "Mens").

Craig, being proficient in the English language, immediately recognized the possessive form, and (as a Republican) fully expected to find submissive females inside.

Yeah, that's the ticket!

[TeleFrank]

That was priceless. Thanks for the laugh (as I weep for the future).

[HarryCalhoun]

I wonder if Senator Craig sings in the shower? Sounds like he would be a great lead. How about opening with "Putting on the Ritz" in the Congressional gym? Senator Craig could write his own words too! Just like he did for Alioto.

If the Republicans had a barbershop quartet, with barbershops being so out today, the Democrats could have a salon. They could name their group "The Progressives" and add a new softer sound to the Republican's who can't stop their Tempations.

The "Progressives" could open with their own version of "If You Were Gay" from the musical "Avenue Q".

If You Were Gay Senator Craig

It Would Be OK

We Would Debate You Anyway

Nothing has really changed

So Go On With Your Life

Spend Time With Your Wife

But If You Were Gay

We Would Still Debate You Anyway

If They Kick You Out Of Your Job

for Being Gay

You Have Yourself To Blame

Not For Being Gay

Because We Like You Anyway

You Support Discrimination In The Workplace

So You End Up On MySpace

For Being Gay

But It Is OK

Because We will like You Anyway

Just Remember The American Way

What You Do Behind The Curtain in the Voting Booth Stays In The Voting Booth.

Who You Vote For and The Values You Stand For Are Your Right As an American!

So We Say, That It Is OK, If You Were Gay....

If You Were Gay!

[dadw5boys]

Did you strech out your answer long enough to hide others comments for a reason?
Craig was having sex with people in Public.
OUR KIDS ARE OUT IN THE PUBLIC! How many kids lives has this mans ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES touched or how many has he touched?