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Katie Halper

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Top 10 Ways to Take Our Country Back From Foreign Words!

Posted: 07/22/11 06:19 PM ET

The war on terror must be fought on every single front. The latest assault on our freedoms and values came in the form of meteorological nomenclature with Jihadi agents disguised as weathermen calling our good old fashioned American dust storm a Haboob, an Arabic word. Luckily, citizens of Arizona -- heroes in the ongoing war to keep America American, as God, if not Native Americans, intended it -- are ever vigilant. One patriot wrote into his newspaper:

After living here for 57 years, I have seen an "Arizona dust storm" or two. What irritates me is the growing trend to call our Arizona dust storms "haboobs." While other countries in the world may call them that, this is the United States. Even more, this is Arizona, not some Middle Eastern nation. I am insulted that local TV news crews are now calling this kind of storm a haboob. How do they think our soldiers feel coming back to Arizona and hearing some Middle Eastern term that is clearly an Arizona phenomenon. Dust storms such as we have are as unique as cacti and diamondback rattlesnakes. Keep it as it is -- an Arizona dust storm!

Another modern-day minutewoman used a rights-based argument to challenge the use of "haboob,"writing,"Excuse me, Mr. Weatherman! Who gave you the right to use the word "haboob" in describing our recent dust storm? We have our own culture, too, sir, and we don't take kindly to being robbed of it."

Sadly, the linguistic attacks on our culture are not limited to meteorology. Words of Arabic origin infiltrate our vocabulary more than we would like to think. In solidarity with our brothers and sisters in Arizona who are fighting to keep our language free of foreign influence, I have singled out 10 words of Arabic origin and offered good old fashioned American language names for them. Of course this list of 10 is not exhaustive but just representative grains of sand in the vast infidel Arabian desert that threatens to replace our American homeland. My fellow Americans, let us speak American!

  1. Scarlet: the color of the letter that whore was forced to wear in that boring movie that was turned into an even more boring book and which Nancy Pelosi should be forced to wear
  2. Orange: the beautiful hue of House Speaker John Boehner's glowing soft as a baby's bottom skin
  3. Guitar: the instrument Bush borrowed from Mark Wills and played during Katrina
  4. Loofah: this thing Bill O'Reilly really likes
  5. Tariff: something related to taxes which we should definitely not raise for the wealthy who create jobs just by trickling
  6. Safari: a tour of where you get to see but don't have to touch different kinds of natives in Africa
  7. Serendipity: an awesome movie even if it does star the Communist John Cusack and the Jewish Buddhist Jeremy Piven
  8. Nadir*: the sad-looking man obsessed with cars who some liberals blame for Bush presidency, even though we all know the Supreme Court vote him in. Thanks again, Antonin.
  9. Spinach: the thing that health nut hippies who believe in things like fluoride want to force their kids to eat when apple pie is just fine, thank you very much.
  10. Humus is the food of the enemy and as such must not be eaten, nonetheless spoken! In fact, as New York's MTA implores us, "if you see something, say something" and be sure to report any humus eaters to law enforcement.

*Nader, Nadir, close enough. Let's be honest -- it's all transliterated anyway.

 

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11:11 AM on 07/25/2011
hummus is the food. humus is the dirt.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
incognito-ergo-sum
ProgLibFemHumanist. Thanks tax payers for paying
12:47 AM on 07/25/2011
Oh no, no more Algebra.
07:32 AM on 07/24/2011
How about 0 or Zero. We must eliminate 0.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
minerva117
This space for rent. Cheap!
11:10 AM on 07/25/2011
We have to eliminate ALL of the numerals, they're all arabic......we can just write them out in good old American........won, too. treee
airmikee99
I can has micro-bio?
02:31 AM on 07/24/2011
Can't I just call it Freedom Sauce instead? I don't wanna have to give up my humus. :(
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cheryl tobin
Alpha Dog with my pack!
01:32 PM on 07/24/2011
Great idea! I was going to just call it "Real American Blended Chick Peas" but that is too long.
airmikee99
I can has micro-bio?
01:47 PM on 07/24/2011
I just wish we could take out our frustration on other cultures on something other than the foods we eat. Poor, sweet, innocent foods don't deserve this kind of abuse.
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abnerpsmood
Seattle Gator
10:27 PM on 07/23/2011
Serendipity is from "The Three Princes of Serendip", by Horace Walpole....nothing to do with Arabic.
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swordfis
03:32 PM on 07/24/2011
Kind of: "The Three Princes of Serendip is the English version of the Peregrinaggio di tre giovani figliuoli del re di Serendippo published by Michele Tramezzino in Venice in 1557. Tramezzino claimed to have heard the story from one Christophero Armeno who had translated the Persian fairy tale into Italian adapting Book One of Amir Khusrau's Hasht Bihisht[1] of 1302. The story first came to English via a French translation, and now exists in several out-of-print translations.[2] Serendip is the Persian name for Sri Lanka." Wiki
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writeon1
Pundit in my own mind
09:26 PM on 07/23/2011
Hey, when you live in a melting pot, words have a way of changing.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
08:38 PM on 07/23/2011
The root of "orange" is Dravidian (southern India is you want geographicals).

Safari is from Arabic sort of, but was borrowed through Kiswahili.  "Safari" describes any trip or journey in Kiswahali.  "Habari za safari?"  "Nzuri sana."  How was your trip?  Very good.

That all stated.  "Haboob" is a horrid word.  It is offensive to the ears (soundwise) and the meaning is not well enough known to be used in general speech.  It would be like referring to a hate as a шапка and expecting everyone to know what it means.
06:42 PM on 07/23/2011
How can we have missed "alcohol"? (not that I'd want to eliminate it). And "cotton" too, if I'm not mistaken. (Span. algodón).
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ritgar
no micro-bio is big enough for me
09:59 PM on 07/23/2011
And please - don't forget your "pajamas"! Also, glad to see the Span. reference, since so many Spanish words are the same as the Arabic.
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moogyboy
10:40 PM on 07/23/2011
Or "sherbet", a nice big bowl of which actually sounds really really good right now.
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moogyboy
10:42 PM on 07/23/2011
How about "checkmate", which is something the USA can't seem to do anywhere in the world?
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Vintage59
Reading is still the warp drive of IT
06:30 PM on 07/23/2011
Arizonan's can't see the desert for the sand.
texasprogressive
A voice crying in the wilderness.
05:02 PM on 07/23/2011
Forgot alkali and alkaline also.
04:51 PM on 07/23/2011
Guitar is from Greek cithara. Zither and India's sitar are derived from that.

The people in Arizona who are upset over haboob have sympathizers in another part of the world.

That is, the Arabic word for desert is tesertum. It originates as the Latin word desertum, meaning a place abandoned by people. I have read an Egyptian editorial decades ago that it must be that we adopted the Arab word! Nope, the derivation is the Latin verb desero, deserere, deserui, desertus = to desert, abandon. Desertum = a thing abandoned.

Here's an odder one. Booze is an Islamic word. One reason the Moslems tolerated the Christian minority is that Christians were allowed to make wine and beer as a religious exemption from Sharia. For personal consumption only. (Wink, nudge.) Thus the Christians were the bootleggers of the Islamic world. The Christians in Egypt continued to speak ancient Egyptian for 300 years and the ancient Egyptian word buza for beer survived. In Turkey buza means a local sour honeyed beer. Any European sailor in Istanbul or another Middle Eastern port knew to ask for booze when he was on shore. Thus it transferred into English.
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ritgar
no micro-bio is big enough for me
10:03 PM on 07/23/2011
Don't forget hashish, which is actually grass. How funny!
04:47 PM on 07/23/2011
Hmm, found it more amusing the author used Arabic numerals to number the list. The list, well, shrug.
04:43 PM on 07/23/2011
Is there anything wrong with the word "haboob" rather than dust storm? Nothing! It broadened our horizon and reflected our multicultural heritage. Wasn't English a foreign language to many of the past and new emigrants?! As for who brought it here, just ask our men and women in the armed services. Besides, it would be a fun addition to our word games.
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thereisonlyoneparty
more amazing than you
08:40 PM on 07/23/2011
It is a word that is unknown to most people.

That is the real problem.   There are enough terms within the language to avoid confusion through outside words.

A problem with English is that it is able to adopt almost any word easily.  Of course to do this there needs to be some understanding of the word in populace.
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starrigavan
03:48 PM on 07/23/2011
"Who gave you the right to use the word "haboob""

We did.
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Barbara Graham
Comin at u from Area 5150
03:27 PM on 07/23/2011
This reminds me of the Simpsons, when Marge was looking for a home business at a convention. There's a booth shilling for pita bread.
"We call it 'pocket bread.'"
And the filling? "Flavor sauce!"

That's the secret to selling weird foreign stuff in Arizona. Name it something 'merican!