Dear Joe Mathieu of P.O.T.U.S. '08 - XM radio (130),
I want to apologize for my unseemly behavior the other day. I know you interview a lot of people, so you may not remember me or you may have repressed the memory of me. I'm the comic who was on the viral video comedy panel at Netroots Nation whom you interviewed about, well, viral comedy videos. We talked over the phone, since I was in Austin, Texas. The end of our conversation went something like this...
[WARNING: DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE EATING. IF YOU HAVE EATEN RECENTLY, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE WAITED AT LEAST A HALF AN HOUR TO DIGEST. IF NOT, STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY AFTER YOU READ THIS.]
Joe Mathieu: What are some of your favorite viral videos?
Katie Halper: Well, I really like this one video [made by the Public Service Administration] on McCain and the C-Word*. It makes fun of the media for not mentioning the story because they can't possibly say "the C word."
Joe Mathieu: Well, you know, Katie. I've enjoyed talking with you, but it's 12:30 out here on the East Coast and people are having lunch right now. And we can't really be talking about this during lunch time. [click]
Katie Halper: Oh, sorry
Joe Mathieu: [post-click silence]
* I didn't actually say the C word. In other words, I didn't utter the word that begins with C. And ends with T. I actually said "the C word."
Before apologizing, I want to thank you. While others could see your hang-up as rude and unprofessional, the response of an immature and unprepared "d-bag," I know that you were helping me make my argument. What better way to prove my point about the media's refusal to talk about the story than by refusing to talk to me about the story? The hang up was so dramatic, so overt, so over the top, it really proved my point. (It's also a great example of the strength of the "show, don't tell" rule. You probably learned that in J school. Or middle school.)
Also, before I apologize, I just want to summarize what I would have said had you not hung up on me. [ DO NOT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU ARE EATING. IF YOU HAVE EATEN RECENTLY, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE WAITED AT LEAST A HALF AN HOUR TO DIGEST. IF NOT, STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER IMMEDIATELY.] I was going to say something like...
Katie Halper: It's interesting that nobody brings up the story about John McCain calling his wife the C-word. I've heard two theories explaining this. 1) The media doesn't like using the C-word. 2) It's not a sourced story. That's interesting because, I remember when Jane Fonda mentioned the C-word, the media was able to suppress it's vomit and cover the story. I also wonder why the media is so comfortable saying the word "bitch." Hmmm. food for thought. And in terms of reporting standards, I thought the media wasn't into that whole thing anymore. They were more than happy to report on totally unconfirmed and unfounded stories about things Michelle Obama "said."
OK, now for the apology. I really, really, really hope you'll forgive me. As you yourself suggested, it was that g-d time difference. It was 11:30 in Austin, and I have a strict noon cut off rule when it comes to discussing the C-word. I know that when McCain called his wife a C-word and a trollop, he made sure not to do so during a major meal time. So silly me, I thought I had a full 1/2 hour. To those of you who were LWL (listening while lunching) I apologize. I hope you were able to keep your food down. I know how hard it is. Of course, some people eat at different times, I don't believe in indulging or enabling those people. If they are going to lead alternative eating lifestyles, let them be nauseated. And as for the people who live in other parts of the world, I hope this encourages them to eat according to the U.S. clock.
In addition to failing to recognize the time difference and not respecting the C-word time zone rule, another factor contributed to my slip. I had my P-word. And it was a really, really bad one, you know how it is. So my judgment was off. I'm sure you'll accept my apology now.