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Katie Hoffman
Katie Hoffman is a writer and blogger living in the Chicagoland area. When she’s not at work, you’re likely to find her creating new profanity on the Stairmaster, sipping a cosmo, or writing about life, pop culture, and everything in between on her blog

Entries by Katie Hoffman

No One Is Looking At Your Fireworks Pictures

(0) Comments | Posted July 2, 2015 | 2:09 PM

Every year in July, Americans wearing their washed-out flag shirts from 2000 that they've kept because they only wear them once per year (unless they recently painted their living room) gather together on an open field with picnic blankets and folding chairs to partake in the Sisyphean task of capturing...

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Can we Celebrate the Blackhawks Without the Air Horns, Please?

(0) Comments | Posted June 17, 2015 | 4:41 PM

On Monday night, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup at home for the first time in 77 years. Some sources say that the team's win was fueled by the determination to give sports reporters the chance to write articles with headlines that broadcast that the team has...

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Leave the Gym Resolutioners Alone

(1) Comments | Posted January 15, 2015 | 9:14 AM

We've all seen them. There could be one next to you right now on the treadmill holding on for dear life and hiking up a level 15 incline. You may have spotted one inquisitively eying a BOSU ball, wondering what manner of cruel and unusual punishment a semi-circle could possibly...

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An Open Letter to Moms This Christmas

(0) Comments | Posted December 25, 2014 | 11:14 AM

As tempting as it may be to do so, do not kiss Santa Claus. Not under the mistletoe. Not near the romantic glow of the fireplace while chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Not near the overflowing stockings. Do not kiss Santa Claus anywhere.

I can understand the...

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You're Not a Victoria's Secret Model, and That's Okay

(1) Comments | Posted December 9, 2014 | 3:49 PM

"I was going to watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show tomorrow, but I just remembered that I like having self-esteem," posted one of my Facebook friends on the eve of the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It earned 32 likes, and one commenter posted an image of cartoon owl guiltily...

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Five Intimidating Family Members at Thanksgiving Dinner (And How to Handle Them)

(0) Comments | Posted November 24, 2014 | 6:36 PM

Thanksgiving is a time for gratitude, overeating, and laying the foundation for the family feuds that will carry you through the rest of the holiday season and into the new year. Whether you're hosting Thanksgiving on your home turf or crossing enemy lines at your in-laws' feast, you're guaranteed to...

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The Fault in Our Feminism

(2) Comments | Posted October 16, 2014 | 5:17 PM

In case you've just come out from under your rock, earlier this month George Clooney married the lovely Amal Alamuddin in Italy.

You might remember George Clooney from the television series ER, his numerous movie roles and his reputation for being a bachelor, but let's focus on Amal Alamuddin. She's...

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What Your Favorite Fall Foods Say About You

(7) Comments | Posted October 8, 2014 | 6:58 PM

Fall seems like a transitional period of beautiful simplicity, ideal for wearing sweaters and curling up by the fireplace with a good book, but let's not lose sight of what this time of year is really about: getting into heated debates about the merits of the season's most polarizing food...

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To All the Sunburn Spectators

(2) Comments | Posted July 30, 2014 | 2:35 PM

Before you aptly point out that I "must have gotten some sun," please take a moment to consider what legitimate purpose that comment actually serves. Yes, my ordinarily fair skin is currently the color of crustacean commonly consumed with butter, but what are you really getting at? Do you think...

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16 pessoas com quem todos nós já saímos para jantar

(0) Comments | Posted July 29, 2014 | 12:40 PM

Sair para jantar com amigos pode ser uma ótima alternativa a ficar em casa e comer macarrão instantâneo com queijo. Mas quando vocês estão num restaurante, os amigos com quem você normalmente se dá bem quase sempre se convertem em uma das figuras desagradáveis descritas a seguir.

1. A pessoa...

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16 People We've All Gotten Dinner With

(37) Comments | Posted July 11, 2014 | 11:02 AM

Going out to dinner with your people can be a nice change of pace from eating macaroni and cheese at home, but it never fails that the friends you normally cherish outside of a restaurant quickly turn into one or more of the unsavory characters described below.

1. The person...

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15 Important Truths About Opinions

(3) Comments | Posted June 26, 2014 | 2:26 PM

We have a habit of assuming that opinions are regulated by common sense, but if you've ever had a conversation with someone, read a comment thread on the Internet, or turned on the television lately, you've probably noticed that when it comes to opinions, common sense is about as common...

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An Open Letter to Anyone Wearing Foot Jewelry

(106) Comments | Posted June 23, 2014 | 3:51 PM

Dear anklet (ankle bracelet) and toe ring wearers,

On behalf of the world, I want to inform you that we're all a little perplexed as to why you'd use accessories to accentuate what is arguably the least sexy part of the human body (unless you have a foot fetish or...

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How to Really Achieve the Perfect 'Beach Body'

(0) Comments | Posted June 16, 2014 | 5:38 PM

As sunny skies and warmer temperatures promise to banish any lingering winter sweaters to the back of the closet, we'll soon be welcoming the beginning of swimsuit season -- which also means it's only a matter of time before we're besieged with advice about how to obtain the elusive "beach...

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The Most Valuable Skill for Job Seekers

(3) Comments | Posted June 12, 2014 | 1:12 PM

Even though two years have passed since I graduated from undergrad and was evicted from my comfortable college bubble where my biggest concerns were skipping 8 AM classes and putting off papers until two hours before they're due, I can vividly remember the overwhelming feelings of hesitance, helplessness and impending...

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5 Graduation Gifts to Avoid This Year (and Forever)

(3) Comments | Posted May 19, 2014 | 5:02 PM

There's an undeniable pomp and circumstance in the air, which means every weekend for the next month will be a cake-comatose blur of graduation-party RSVPs, but one important question is hanging in the air like a graduation cap that was tossed perhaps a little too high: what thoughtful, profound gift...

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