It's just that I love Instagram.
I love hitting the search button and scrolling through all the pictures of people I don't know (but Instagram thinks I should). People with pictures of big bouquets of flowers and farm fresh eggs and hand-painted calligraphy quotes on their walls. People with perfectly-dressed toddlers and funny workout shirts who are on grand life adventures in foreign countries. People who have seemingly abandoned all responsibilities in exchange for wanderlust and happiness.
I just love it.
And it's torture.
Because it's so not real.
I feel like there has been a life movement recently towards "finding yourself" and "living authentically" and residing in dreamland. People are traveling to beaches in October and dyeing their hair in rainbows and spending their days sipping coffee at the dog park after yoga. Those are the lives people are portraying.
And it's total crap.
Who has time for that? Who can spend an hour at the dog park on a Monday? Where do you work that you can dye your hair lime green and have that be okay? What is your life that you can go on week-long adventures at the drop of a hat? I barely have time to be writing this!
I found myself thinking a lot this weekend that I wish I had more time in a day. I wish there wasn't so much to do all the time. I want to be the girl who wakes up at 8 o'clock on a Tuesday, goes for a jog, and then grabs coffee (Dr. Pepper, let's not play) on my way to lunch with my friends (who apparently also don't have jobs?). I wish I had time to learn calligraphy and paddle boat and open an Etsy shop. I want to get paid to take dreamy, square-shaped pictures of myself wearing free dresses and jewelry and standing in the middle of a field of flowers. I wish I was someone who shopped at the farmer's market and made organic lunches and dinners from scratch. Heck, I wish I had more than 15 minutes to eat my pre-made salad at work.
Who can do all those things?
What I really wish was that Instagram would start recommending real pictures for me to look at (or really that people would post pictures of their real life). I want to see someone's dishes from the last 3 days of grilled cheese piled up in the sink. I want to see someone shoving a lollipop in their toddler's face because he won't stop crying and bribery can be an effective strategy sometimes. I want to see a 25 item to-do list with more than "get a mani/pedi before date Saturday" scrawled across it.
That's real life.
I want to see the mess and the tears and the bags under the eyes. I want to see the piles of homework and the stack of books that will never actually get read. I want to see people laughing because life is so hectic that sometimes that's the only option.
Because that's where I'm at right now, and I really wouldn't mind some company.