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Katrina Alcorn

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Do You Have a Hospital Fantasy?

Posted: 08/16/11 05:04 PM ET

Do you ever hope that you'll get in a minor accident so you can rest up for a few days in the hospital? If your answer is yes, you're not alone.

I recently conducted a poll asking this question. Of the 141 people who took the poll, almost half of them said yes, they have a "hospital fantasy." Thirty-nine percent said no. The 16 percent who answered "other" left comments like this:

I just want to have the flu for a week or so.

Sometimes I wish for a migraine so I can take my meds and sleep for a day.

I'm scared of surgery. But perhaps a nice stay at a mental wellness place?

Whoa. What's going on here? For me, it all started one evening after dinner at my friend Lee's house. Lee* and I have kids about the same age, and since she's a single mom and my husband often works evenings, we take turns cooking dinner for each other after work every week or two.

Our kids were in the living room, playing a game that involved a lot of giggles and crashing sounds. We were in Lee's kitchen, cleaning up the dinner dishes, when Lee sai:

"I'm so stressed out. I have this fantasy that I'll get in a car accident so I can rest in a hospital."

Lee is one of the most cheerful women I know; this confession seemed completely out of character. I must have looked alarmed because she quickly continued.

"I don't want any permanent injuries. I just need a break. Just a couple days in the hospital. No work, no kids. Can you imagine? I could catch up on sleep. I could read a magazine. I know, it's ridiculous, right?... But doesn't it sound great?"

When you put it that way, it does sound kind of nice.

I have two kids, ages four and eight, and a step-daughter in middle school. I adore them, of course. They and their father are the loves of my life. But like every parent I know, I crave time to myself, and between work and my family, there's never enough of me to go around.

I never had a hospital fantasy, but I can relate to people who do, because a few years ago, I seriously burned out and had to quit my full-time job. Burning out was a blessing in disguise. It forced me to slow down and reprioritize. I'm lucky that I can work part-time now, but I know that not everyone has that option.

I'd almost forgotten about my conversation with Lee when, a few months later, I got an email from someone in Baltimore named Ami. Because I write about the mismatch between the workplace and home, I get a lot of emails from stressed out parents. But this one struck a cord:

...I stumbled back to work when my son was 6 weeks old. He had colic and chronic ear infections, so I really didn't sleep for a year. No exaggeration. I would fantasize about having a minor car accident on the way to work. Nothing serious -- just enough to lay me up in the hospital for a few days so I could sleep! After 11 years of this life, I'm starting to have those fantasies again...

Another hospital fantasy?

Ami explained she was working full time, and trying to take care of a child with special needs. She desperately needed a break, but for a variety of reasons, couldn't imagine how she would get one.

I began to wonder how many other people had this same fantasy. That's why I put together that poll.

What are we to make of this? Obviously it's not a very scientific poll, so we can't say half of all parents have a hospital fantasy. But it's fascinating. Everyone knows our health care system is broken. How much worse, then, is our work culture, if so many of us have this fantasy?

I suspect it has something to do with being massively overworked.

Americans, after all, work some of the longest hours of any industrialized nation in the world. Studies show our workplace stress has doubled since 1985. Those of us with caregiving responsibilities outside of work feel squeezed on both sides. Parents in America experience more work-family conflict than any developed country in the world. Which would explain why many of us are beginning to think like soldiers sent to a war we don't believe in -- we'd rather break an arm or get shot then continue fighting.

I'm curious to hear from Huffington Post readers. Do you have a hospital fantasy? Is this just a working parent phenomenon, or do other people have this fantasy, too? And why is it so hard to give ourselves a break, without actually breaking something?

*Not her real name.

 

Follow Katrina Alcorn on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@kalcorn

Do you ever hope that you'll get in a minor accident so you can rest up for a few days in the hospital? If your answer is yes, you're not alone. I recently conducted a poll asking this question. Of ...
Do you ever hope that you'll get in a minor accident so you can rest up for a few days in the hospital? If your answer is yes, you're not alone. I recently conducted a poll asking this question. Of ...
 
 
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06:39 PM on 09/14/2011
I had this fantasy for a few years. I was a new mom, going to school full time and working nights. My (now ex) husband was a marine and away much of the time. For me it wasn't just "taking a few days off" it was having a reason/excuse to just relax. "I'm hurt, I get a break, you take care of it." I realized a few years later it was a symptom of postpartum depression and depression in general.
The feelings of being overwhelmed and constantly stressed are something most Americans currently deal with.
I learned to deal with the depression and no longer have those fantasies. When I need a break, I take one. Who really cares if the floors aren't spotless, or the car isn't washed, or I'm not at the 18th birthday party this weekend.
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MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
12:35 PM on 08/25/2011
That's just weird, sounds like a sign of depression.
I have three kids, I'm the full time caregiver, but my style of parenting (benign neglect) meant that by the time my eldest was 4 he could get his own breakfast and lunch. By the time my 2nd boy was 8, he was learning how to cook. Even when my DW (that's dear wife, not dang wife) was suffering from debilitating chronic pain and depression (which left me as sole parent to three boys and a very ill spouse) it never occurred to me that I'd want to be away from my family.
So perhaps some of this comes from how you raise your kids, how dependent on the parents you make them. My wife teaches High School and has students who still cannot wash their own clothes or cook their own food, while my boys (ages 9, 10 and 13) certainly do all that (and the eldest two do their homework without being told). Making the kids do things for themselves and regulate their own behavior has paid off.
Maybe men are just better caregivers?
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Gonzo36
Pro-awesome!
11:00 AM on 08/25/2011
Seriously? If you are that stressed out then TAKE A BREAK! Go stay at a hotel for a few days. It isnt like your husband is incapable of taking care of the kids- he is an adult for cripes sake. Cant afford a hotel? Ask to stay with a friend or something. Start to say 'no' to things you really dont want to do. You dont always have to say 'yes'. The world will not stop turning if you dont join the PTA or fund raise for your church. Think about what your really enjoy doing, and then do it. A happy mom is a happy family- your number one job is to take care of yourself first- isnt that what they teach you when you fly- you have to give YOURSELF oxygen first, then your kids. If you give your kids the oxygen first, you will suffocate.
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MarcEdward
likes all cats more than most people
12:37 PM on 08/25/2011
Had to fav that comment. If things are so bad somebody wants to suffer serious injury (and anything that puts you into a hospital hurts A LOT) needs a break. These parents need to communicate with their spouses that something has to change. This cannot be good for the marriage or the kids.
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dancerctry
I love Gardening and Decorating
08:34 AM on 08/25/2011
I'm a stay at home mom so after dinner my son and husband chill out and I go out on my own for my exercise and some peace. My husband and son also take "daddy time" on weekends. It's important to have a little time to yourself.
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walkingwolf
I'm sorry I offended you-I should have lied
05:29 AM on 08/25/2011
At 50 to 100 bucks a pop for an asprin..I'll go out and pitch a tent in the back yard and call up one of them "rent a nurses" and pretend I'm In a MASH unit...
05:12 AM on 08/25/2011
I can't understand hospital fantasies that visualize accidents that will put you in the hospital since i don't like pain. Mine is so much more sensible, I just fantasize about having a nervous breakdown that will let me check into the psych ward for a few weeks.
StevenRussell1
Christian Pilot
04:03 AM on 08/25/2011
Is this a secret? Then why so many words on it here?
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Anna Christian
12:52 AM on 08/25/2011
Sad that people even have this fantasy. Don't think it would happen if people were allowed to take adequate vacations. The USA needs to step into the 21st century and let people have some time off.
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simzillyjp
Up, Up & Away
03:15 AM on 08/25/2011
The U.S. is the ONLY country in the world that it's employees do not have vacations.
12:08 AM on 08/25/2011
OMG! I had a hospital fantasy for decades. I had a partner that understood I needed time alone and sent me to a hotel for a night. The guilt I felt for being able-bodied and slacking on my responsibilities negated any rest I may have gotten.

Now I'm soon to be a single empty-nester. My last child is rarely home and I have the same fantasy. I still work too much, but don't know where to start with all the things I need and always thought I would do. I also have come to realize that now getting away and taking a break only brings me back to the same that I got away from. Ugh!
11:43 PM on 08/24/2011
As a wife and mom of four, I can certainly relate to wanting to just "get away" from time to time. After each of my c-sections, my ObGyn would say something to the effect of: "Well...we can probably let you go home this Friday or you can stay until Sunday if you want to make sure you're fine". Of course, I *always* chose the latter. The nurses got a hoot out of it, but what did I care. I'll take graham crackers, apple juice, and a private moment however I can get it :-)
11:34 PM on 08/24/2011
What, hospital fantasy?? Obviously the ones with this type of fantasy have never been in a hospital for any length of time. Hospitals are extremely noisy, and not to mention the revolving hospital room door constantly letting in hospital staff to check on your vitals or ask what lunch selection you would like! Completely aggravating! Rest is impossible in a hospital, maybe a great nanny or babysitter caring for your kids while you nap fantasy would be more of a hopeful rest!
11:31 PM on 08/24/2011
Not a hospital stay, no. But when my twins were infants and I had a 2 year old I remember thinking light security prison would be nice. 3 meals cooked for me and just rest in bed all day...just for a month or so.
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ladywiccan
a wife, mother and grandmother
10:56 PM on 08/24/2011
last year and the early part of this year the hospital was my second home and it is no picnic . Had to go home before I got any reat
09:27 PM on 08/24/2011
I've never had a hospital fantasy to rest from my kids, however I have had the hospital fantasy as a forced way for my husband to walk a mile in my shoes. He has has NO idea! He used to tell me that I didn;t do anything, that I stayed home and played with the kids all day. Mind you I have 3 kids, all 16 months apart and 2 of them have ADHD. House was always clean, dinner always cooked, and laundry always done. Hmmmmmmm, I wonder who did all that?
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10:26 PM on 08/24/2011
I feel for you. Sounds like your hubby needs a gentle reminder that needs to be invested in his home, which includes responsibilities that come with it. Same goes for the kids. They're not just yours. If you ask me, doing what YOU do, is the hardest and most taxing of all jobs. Book yourself a night away at a friends' place, get a pedicure and a massage. When you return 24 hours later, I bet he'll be singing a different tune. Good luck!
08:42 PM on 08/24/2011
Anyone who thinks they can rest in a hospital is delusional. Just ask anyone who has ever been a patient for more than a couple of days. Hospitals aren't spas, they are very busy, very intense places. I know. I work in one. And the single most common gripe I hear from patients is that it is never quiet and they never really get to sleep.
10:57 PM on 08/24/2011
Yep, couldn't have said it any better. I was in the hospital in July and it was complete pandemonium. I was on morphine and I still couldn't sleep... So between that and all of the sickness, unclean rooms, and bad odors, I would gladly spend that money on a fabulous vacation.