Let's All Stop Whining And Let The Athletes Juice!
He was young...he was stupid. It was a different culture back then. He was under tremendous pressure to perform at a high level.
No, that's not from the intro to Dubya's upcoming memoirs. This weekend, we were shocked, shocked!! to learn that Alex Rodriguez, baseball's own golden boy, used steroids after all. Here's his red-eyed confession. And here, just for fun, is a 2007 clip of him lying his face off about it to Katie Couric, and being damn sanctimonious too.
"I've never felt overmatched on the baseball field," swore A-Rod in his '07 denial. "And I felt that if I did my work...I didn't have a problem competing at any level." Cue the laugh track.
Yes, A-Rod, like so many athletes before him, has been busted, and has now had to issue the Standard Public Apology found on page 3 in the media-relations handbook. ("Remember, you were young and stupid. You were under tremendous pressure. And for that pity-inducing red-eyed look, rub your fingertips across a fresh-cut onion right before the interview!")
Having confessed, he awaiteth forgiveness. Should he get it? Tough one. Alex Rodriguez, a professional sportsman, cheated. He cheated just as surely, and as effectively, as if he used a carbon nanotube superbat, or ran a shorter basepath than everyone else. He reaped the benefits; set records, got endorsements, made millions.
And let's be really clear on this: He didn't do it because he was young and stupid...you don't get a hypodermic needle, acquire a banned substance in secret, and inject yourself in the ass, again and again over a period of years, because you're in an immature daze. No, Alex Rodriguez cheated because he knew it would make him artificially better. And damn, it did!
Every high school athlete in America knows the real equation, and it is this: If you use steroids, it will make you better at sports. There's no denying it. You will be able to lift more, run faster, recover more quickly, compete better.
Sure, there are consequences. It's illegal, for one thing, so you will have to hide your usage. It may cause long-term serious damage to your health, much of which may be irreversible. Whatever, Grandpa. It's guaranteed to boost your performance right now. Which could mean the difference between whether or not you make the team...which in turn could mean the difference between whether you get to spend your life as a professional athlete or have to sweat it out as an insurance broker like your stupid dad.
We need to stop pretending we're shocked that an athlete would take a banned substance "just" to triumph over his peers, earn zillions, and generally live the life of Riley. It's an incredibly powerful inducement well worth trading in a dozen rickety years at the hazy end of your life for. For a young, promising athlete with dreams, the question really is: Can I afford NOT to take steroids? Especially if anyone I'm competing against is?
What to do, what to do. We clearly can't police it--the banned-substance creators have always been one step ahead of the banned-substance monitors. We can't stop it--the "think of your future" pleas of parents and teachers are empty threats, set against the vivid real world successes of the likes of A-Rod, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds.
So let's stop whining and let 'em juice!
I'm serious: We should throw in the towel. Let athletes do whatever they want to their bodies, and take their own consequences. You're an adult; pump your body full of whatever you have to to get the job done. Steroids, bovine growth hormone, Kryptonite, whatever. You are the racer, and your body is your machine; you choose your fuel.
I mean, are athletes here to entertain us or aren't they? If football is fun now, imagine the same game with 600-pound linemen, overballooned meat machines staggering around on the field with testicles the size of unshelled peanuts. I'm not even kidding about this. When two ballplayers collide I want their foreheads to shatter, great shards of bone splintering all over the turf in a cysty snow.
Roger Maris could only squeak out a pathetic 61 homers without the use of steroids. Barry Bonds took every steroid known to man--uh, allegedly--and belted out 73. And he had to sneak the juice in the shadows, like a disgusting junkie. What if Bonds could shoot up without fear of repercussion? Pants-down, bent over in the on-deck circle, with a bat-boy syringing his butt, and the crowd going nuts? Bonds fully juiced could probably hit 100 dingers, screaming like a demon all the way round, and punching the catcher right in the facemask every time he crosses home plate. Tell me that wouldn't keep your attention.
Oh, sure, it'll make it tough to compare the players of one era to another. But that's an old man's game. I'd trade that in any day for 9-foot NBA players who can dunk without leaving the floor. Boxers who can collapse ribcages, hockey goalies with adamantine claws that spring from their knuckles to ribbon the throats of any offensive player who comes too close.
We've tried ineffectively enforcing weak rules, letting players cheat at will and wagging our finger for show whenever we catch one. Now it's time for a simpler solution. If we can't do away with the steroids, let's do away with the scandal, and let ballplayers play ball without fear. Leave the doctors on the sidelines, where they belong, and let our athletes be superheroes...real, superhuman superheroes, with powers beyond our mortal imagining.
And if their skulls crack from the snap of a comb two years after they retire, or their knees crumble to dust in the nursing home, or if they occasionally snap and kill their families in a bloody androgen spree, well, that's the price you pay for superlative entertainment.
The time has come to recognize that we have an inaccurate record of human achievement today. Who knows what the longest long jump or fastest mile could be, if athletes were unencumbered by our overprotectiveness? If steroid use extends the boundaries of human achievement, as we all believe it does, then until we drop the restrictions we'll never know how good we really are.
For a sporting world that prides itself on superior statistical achievement, surely nothing less than unfettered freedom to excel will do. We worry about which juicy players to put an asterisk next to, but it may be that future generations will put an asterisk over our entire era, with a caveat like this:
"Records from the 1950-2009 era are thought to be artificially low, because of oppressive restrictions on what athletes could and couldn't put into their own bodies. Athletes often lived long into their 40s and 50s in those days, but at what cost to their on-field records we may never know."
Don't hold our athletes down--let them juice up. The ass to risk should be your own.
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Here's my question for the baseball purist-types who so revere the "pure" players of a bygone era:
Is the "Tommy John" surgery cheating? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_John_surgery)
No, because all players are allowed to access that artificial enhancement. But certainly the records set by pitchers since 1974 would be enhanced by this surgical breakthrough compared to prior eras. So why the hissy fit over how steroids are artificially inflating the game's record books? Why isn't Barry Bonds' three knee surgeries more a contribution to his longevity and therefore his all-time HR record than his steroid use? How much longer and better would Hank Aaron have played with modern surgeries and training techniques?
Why do we approve of modern artificial physical methods to compete (hi-tech training equipment, advanced surgeries, that Paralympic sprinter allowed to try out for Olympics while wearing his prosthetic "leaf-spring" leg) but detest artificial chemical methods to compete?
And even then, we only oppose the chemical methods that enhance; we seem to have no issue with the pharmaceutical cocktails every pro player's team doctor routinely doles out for pain and inflammation. But god forbid the athlete treat pain and inflammation with cannabis!
I agree with a previous commenter. Legalize steroids. Prohibition does not work, it only creates deadlier, more available drugs. Players allowed to use steroids would push the market toward safer, more effective enhancements, and adults should be allowed to do with their bodies as they choose.
I'm of the belief that if you removed steroids from being illegal, that the makers would no longer need to spend so much effort in making them undetectable, and would spend more time on removing the negative side effects.
Simple economics and competition of market. If it were legal then the two factors for pro-atheletes would be benefits and side effects. They'll go for the one that gives the most benefit but side effects will also play a factor. The manufacturers will push to find better steroids that have more benefits and lower side effects. Cost isn't an issue to these players, only benefits and side effects, in that order. The natural state of competition in the market would drive them to find the most beneficial steriod with little to no side effects.
Now, consider the secondary market for these advanced "safer" steroids. Medical uses for people with diseases or disabilities. I'm of the belief that our scientists could eventually come up with a steroid that would be no more dangerous than drinking a protein shake.
Interesting to watch the back and forth here, second only to watching sports itself. There has of course been drug use in the news, including a bong hit by a swimmer of some renown. Yet drug use is not only about our "entertainment", it is about people, and us a community, our families and our children. Call a professional baseball player an "entertainer" if you like, but my 12 year old playing soccer is not. He may not get juiced, but legalizing drugs will effect his sport and how it is even coached, yes, even down to the kiddie level. How we live has consequences.
I am not sure some posters here are truly as flip as they appear on legalizing drugs. I would recommend a wider look at the topic, and right here at the HP is a good place to begin:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/magda-abufadil/qat-increasingly-turns-on_b_164905.html
If I am an actor, can I afford to not take mind enhancing substances? Does Congress need to investigate the use of mind altering substances in Hollywood?
Like all celebrities, professional athletes are the human staff of various entertainment products. They do a sort of method acting, where they become the roles they play in a spectacle that's then sold to the highest bidder. But unlike honest theater, reality is alleged to be part of the professional sports product. We aren’t encouraged to wonder how "real" any entertainment can be when it's a billion dollar industry, and any individual who leads the consumer to question the reality of the product must be publicly scapegoated to preserve the illusion of purity.
In fact, entertainers have been intervening in the condition of their physical selves for so long that the interventions themselves have become another form of entertainment. Steroid scandals in sports are just another variation on the "Extreme Makeover" product, which is to say, just an expanded marketing opportunity. Bradjolena, sports, surgery, drugs... These are all products being sold in such a way that buying one requires the others.
Attempts to control what other people do with their own bodies always fail. Only the degree of destructiveness - black markets, poisoning, shame - varies. Opportunities to physically adjust the body as an expression of personal will are only going to increase.
What would be useful are celebreties who freely admit to the choices they've made and their consequences. There hasn't been anything natural about pro sports or any other entertainment for a very long time, perhaps ever. Talk of "cheating" couldn't be more ludicrous.
Here's a better idea: how about we stop paying these guys such ridiculous salaries and rich corporate sponsorships and stop recruiting them out of high school (or middle school, as I just read recently about basketball players), and maybe start putting the emphasis on using sports as a means to, oh I dunno, GET AN EDUCATION? It's no wonder steroid use is out of control. The stakes are just too high.
Everytime I hear about some football or baseball team whining that they plan to move cities because they're not getting the taxpayer funded stadium they want--this after they charge crazy face value ticket prices--I keep wondering why the fans still support these teams?
I don't get it.
I was reading some sportswriter comparing A-Rod and other steroid users in sports to the wall street people cutting corners and creating the current financial disaster.
That analogy is completely backwards. If wall street people cut corners AND SUCCEEDED, just as A-Rod took steroids and WAS A GREAT BALLPLAYER, then the analogy would be right. As it is, I just wish wall street would have gotten some performance ENHANCING drugs or something.
I also wondered if the sportstwriters who write these diatribes against steroids turn OFF the spell checkers on their own computers while writing them?
First of all, Bonds, A-Rod, Clemens, et al, were already great athletes before their HGH/steroid use. No mediocre athlete is going to be made a superstar through steroid use.
Secondly, those Wall Street people were fantastically successful as far as their own personal wealth goes -- the rest of the country suffered. Most of them made their fortunes, and have retained them. Its the shareholders and institutions that have suffered...
A reprise of Swift's A Modest Proposal, or King's The Running Man?
Want to fix the problem? Raise the stakes. Life imprisonment for anyone who distributes and uses illegal steroids, as well as the seizure of all assets paid for with money made via doping.
Some sports, like tennis, are already veering too far from considerations of player health, with the replacement of joint-friendly grass courts with hard and the replacement of soft low-power wood/gut racquet setups with stiff/light/large overpowered synthetics. The result is greater "intensity" of a superficial variety, like today's music with its clipping mastering. America is going tone deaf from these "innovations".
Player health and the quality of sport are not separate. Back when tennis pros like Gonzales could compete at the highest levels at age 40 due to soft-fast grass courts and low power wood racquets, the sport had more finesse and much greater variety/artistry. Especially in the women's game, the current equipment/courts have dramatically increased injuries and lowered the quality of the competition. It's a myth that juiced players = better entertainment, just as it's a myth that today's overpowered tennis equipment creates a better sport. Is it so surprising that no one plays tennis anymore in America?
I don't agree with draconian measures and am generally wary of more law. Having said that, big kudos for working the phrase "joint-friendly grass" into your comment.
Is it less draconian to have one's career ruined whenever someone gets around to exposing the doping in an environment where athletes feel the poor regulation makes it a necessity in order to get to the highest levels?
The key is to take away the financial incentive for all involved. If everyone who profits from doping - not just athletes - is punished, then there's no incentive to do it. Follow the money is the rule in politics. As long as there's money in doping, it will continue to happen. Right now, the regulation is shoddy and the "few bad apples" strategy (shaming the athletes) is designed to perpetuate the practice.
I was reading about tennis players, who I personally think are the most athletic and are in the best shape, and the way they are drug tested. They have to keep in contact daily with their whereabouts in case someone is going to show up and give them a drug test. If they miss a test, whether it was for a reason such as their car broke down, it is one doping strike, no matter the excuse. Three and you are probably suspended for a while. I'm wondering if they do the same in other sports?
Why stop with athletes?
Strip them of all medals, erase them from the record books and ban them for life from playing sports.
I agree.
There are numerous reasons for prohibiting the use of "performance enhancing" drugs by athletes. Perhaps the primary one is that most elite competitive athletes are high school and college players. As the parent of a Division I scholar-athlete, I have major concerns that my son would be encouraged -- or even coerced -- into using drugs and life-threatening supplements were they to become legal. Even professional athletes would eventually be forced to get juiced to survive under a drugs-optional policy.
If Mr. Blanchard and his fellow armchair athletes wish to experience the ultimate vicarious thrill of seeing artificially pumped up players blast their way into news levels of phony athletic achievement, they should grab their video game controllers, and go at it in the darkness of their media rooms. Perhaps they would enjoy their sex the same way, as well.
i'll assume you are a good parent and you raised your athlete son to know right from wrong. i'll also assume your son is aware of the medical risks that are associated with PEDs. i'll also assume that given how society frowns upon cheaters, your son knows recognizes that he and family will be more proud of his accomplishments if he did not use PEDs.
by the way, no one is suggesting that amateur athletes use PEDs. most high schools and colleges have ethic codes that prohibits such behavior. if a student-athlete tests positive for a banned substance, he/she is usually kicked off the team, possibly expelled, and officials determine whether to erase victories or statistical accomplishments of the school.
now if you excuse me, i'm going back to playing video games.
LIke any form of cheating or unethical shortcut to success, if it goes on in "grown up" society, it will be adopted by younger cohorts, as well. And, in case you're not aware, there is no real line that can be drawn between high school/college athletes and the pros, except in team sports (think ice skating, tennis, gymnastics, swimming, etc.).
In addition, there is nothing in the blog that states or implies that any adult athlete (18+ years) should be prohibited from using drugs. By their senior year in high school, many premiere athletes have reached legal adult status. Why should their schools be allowed to restrict their drug use, as long as the actual ingestion/injection takes place off campus -- like cigarette smoking?
Assuming one is a good or great parent is irrelevant. If you, ballsmuch,are a parent, you know that there are societal forces -- especially among elite groups, such as athletes -- that will pull very hard at a young person's sense of team loyalty and purpose.
Now, you may go back to your video games.
Agreed. Change the laws and change the rules. Let them take as many performance enhancing drugs as their bodies will tolerate.
I really don't care if their gonads shrivel to raisens.
Until the laws and rules change, however, enforce the laws and enforce the rules.
Watching MLB, and other sports, inequitably apply the rules is not fun.
Watching New York politicians and law enforcement selectively "use their discretion" to downright support selected athletes is shameful.
I have been saying this for years. The harsh truth of the matter is that PEDs make athelets stronger and faster, thus making whatever sporting contest they participate in more exciting. That means that I, as a paying ticket-holder, get more bang-for-the-buck. I'm all for PEDs in professional sports.
would okie mind if i dealt from the bottom of the deck in our hjgh stakes poker game?
Well since I'm not foolish enough to engage in gambling, that would never be a concern to me.
Yes, and let's drug our pilots, so they can fly longer, our soldiers so they can fight with less fear and pain, and field workers so they can pick strawberries faster! And I'll bet my home remodel would have gone a lot faster if those construction workers were juiced. I want more bang for my buck, too!
Is there something we could get you to do better if we f***cked you up with drugs, Okie?
"I'm all for PEDs in professional sports."
Notice okieintellectual did not suggest aviation field, military, or labor industry--only professional sports.
O please. The arguement of if it does not stop here it will spread, is a load of crap and a scare tactic. Since the pilot is not only caring for his/her life, then not okay. If a field hands wants to juice to pick more, and faster, so be it. As for the soldier, well who knows what they put in our eggs while in basic. If you remodeler juices to work harder and faster, what is the problem? This is where the inspector comes in to make sure the job is done right.
Okay, I WAS in the Army and they DID give us drugs so we could fight with less pain... its called 800mg Ibuprofen, AKA Ranger Candy. Do you have any idea what that stuff does to your liver and stomach lining? But the Army passes them out like candy, thus the nickname, so don't try to tell me about giving soldiers drugs. Ask any combat pilot how many times they have been ISSUED amphetamines so they can stay awake to fly more missions.
Don't talk smack when you don't know anything about reality, jackhole.
How about if we bring back the gladiator games, too - maybe instead of the seventh inning stretch, we could set a rabid lion on the playing field. Turn a pack of starving wolves loose on the basketball court right after halftime. Arm goalies with automatic rifles instead of hockey sticks? Any players left standing get to finish the game.
I'm just curious to know how low into the mud, filth, and blood you're willing to sink, in the name of your "entertainment."
I dunno. I kinda think things are just perfect the way they are. Like a sport all its own.
what the heck, let's all cheat!
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