How to Win Friends and Influence People by Practicing Social Arbitrage

Friendship makes prosperity brighter. - Cicero

Real power comes from being indispensable. Indispensability comes from being a switchboard, parceling out as much information, contacts, and goodwill to as many people -- in as many different worlds -- as possible.

Engaging in this constant and open exchange of favors and intelligence is what I call social arbitrage. Think of well-executed social arbitrage as a sort of career karma. How much you give to the people you come into contact with determines how much you'll receive in return. In other words, if you want to make friends and get things done, you have to put yourself out to do things for other people -- things that require time, energy, and consideration.

Here's a few rules to become a master:

1. Think of social arbitrage as a game. When someone mentions a problem, try to think of solutions. The solutions come from my experience and knowledge, and my tool kit of friends and associates. Think: How can my network help? It's a sort of ongoing puzzle, matching up the right people and the right opportunities.


2. Just do it. Don't wait to be asked. People aren't used to looking for others for help, beyond a small circle, and usually either won't think of it or will be too polite to ask.


3. Don't limit yourself to one clique. Make a point of knowing as many people from as many different professions and social groups as possible. The ability to bridge different worlds, and even different people within the same profession, is a key attribute in managers who are paid better and promoted faster.


4. Become a knowledge broker. Knowledge is free -- it can be found in books, in articles, on the Internet, pretty much everywhere, and it's precious to everyone. Expertise will not only allow you to grow your connections, it helps you solve problems in situations where there's a gap in your network.


5. Carpe Diem. When you see a way that someone else in your network can help a friend, don't wait. Pick up the phone mid-conversation to make the introduction -- "I'm here with my friend so-and-so and they need x and may call you, if it's alright" - then give your friend the information so they can follow up as they choose. Not only have you made it completely comfortable for them to reach out, you've also pinged someone else in your network -- double score.

Successfully connecting with others is never about simply getting what you want. It's about getting what you want and making sure that people who are important to you get what they want first -- and having fun while doing it.

Read more articles like this one at Keith Ferrazzi's blog.

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Comments

[NYCPub]

Pick up the phone mid-conversation to make the introduction -- "I'm here with my friend so-and-so and they need x and may call you, if it's alright" - "
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With all due respect, if a friend or associate calls me on the phone and puts me on the spot about helping someone while that person is sitting in the room, that person is not going to be a friend or associate of mine for long. And the reason is very simple.

All of the examples above, and the basic premise of this piece, hinges on one thing, and it's never mentioned: Money.

There's a lot of "help" refered to in this piece. What does "help" mean in these contexts? It means someone who has knowledge or skills providing that knowledge or those skills to another who desires them. The question is, are you hooking up one associate with another with the understanding that those who have the skills are going to be compensated for those who desire the skills? Or is this a 'favor based' outreach? If there's compensation involved, the person with the "problem" doesn't really need your help. Unless they're completely out to lunch, they can find someone to fill their need quite easily. If they're looking for something for nothing, then I don't think you should be recommending your friends and associates to strangers to "help" pro bono.

So I guess i don't really get it ;-(

[FrancieDalton]

No matter what source you choose, Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Department of Commerce, etc., the forecast is the same for the United States:

• By 2010, there’ll be 10 million more jobs than workers;
• By 2013, there’ll be a shortage of 6 million degreed workers;
• By 2020, the shortage of workers will be 14 million.

Well informed businesses are already aware that retaining talent is now a top strategic priority. As your firm engages in this highly competitive endeavor, success will be determined by whether you can offer alignment to existing and potential employees in 3 workplace arenas: (1) between job content and the developmental aspirations of individuals; (2) between work environment and the needs or preferences of individuals, and (3) between managerial style and the needs of a diverse work force.
Unless and until senior management exerts the same level of scrutiny upon the management function as is already applied to the functions of production and finance, the impact of poor management on retention will remain invisible. The "one-style­-of-manage­ment-fits-­all" approach must be shed in favor of a comprehensive template of managerial skills including:

•versatility in communicating effectively with numerous behavior styles, cultures, and skill levels;
•the ability to engage, motivate, and appreciate employees not just en masse, but as individuals, ensuring employees know they are valued;
•the ability to synthesize seemingly disparate preferences, needs, and opportunities, into a blended composite that serves both macro-and micro-level objectives.

[dadw5boys]

At this point degrees are over rated compared to experience. Degrees are great for trainees.

[BBackSoon]

I don’t buy it. I work in IT and my company busy building IT centers first in India and in the future in China. Everyone is expendable and there are many other countries that someone that is at least as smart and talented and energetic as you are is more than willing to do your job for quite a bit less money. And your company will get a tax break for sending the job overseas!

There is no loyalty from business to their employees any more. We are simply seen as an expense that if possible should be reduced by whatever means necessary.

[iblogleft]

We used to call this epiphany, "being a participant in society." Nobody wants that now though, it is much easier (and much more profitable) to take advantage of people if we keep them segregated, hating each other.

[classicalgeek]

I belong to several networking groups that operate this way, and they work. We routinely have an attendance of 50 at our weekly meetings, and millions of dollars of business pass through those groups, that we would otherwise not have had, precisely because of social arbitrage.

To give a concrete example, I am writing a book aimed at a particular market. By simply asking, I was able to meet a translator and several other persons very well-connected in my target market, who were so excited about the book that they couldn't wait to meet me to see how they can help.

[schmuckwithearlaps]

With all due respect, this article is too brief to be of any help. It states the gentleman's opinion with no evidence or examples that this is good advice. It assumes that the person giving out free advice all day is competent to do so. There was a time that the word for someone who attempted to solve other people's problems before his was asked was known as a busybody. I do not doubt that the author can prove his point, it is just that he has not done so in this post. I realize I can read all his books and attend his lectures to learn more, but a post like this ideally will stand on its own. This is an interesting topic, and I am sure the author is most qualified to address it, but I am left with the old cliche "a little learning is a dangerous thing." I do not want to see tens of thousands of liberals reading this piece and going off half cocked and giving out gratuitous advice!

[mariah793]

He's not talking about "advice". He's talking about "information" and "building linkages" between people. It's a down-home, community virtue. Community Organizing 101. It's not only common sense, but also based on "exchange theory": do good unto others before they have a chance to do good unto you.

[outnow]

A free e-book to customers or being identified as a reliable source of information keeps people coming back to you for your opinions and solutions. You may need a professional degree or two or three.

Putting bread upon the water often results in more loaves for you.

I spend two hours per day in free consulting. People perceive me as a reliable source of information. If they want more information, they call me or visit my website. I have videos, yellow pages, and internet sources. Blogs and social networking may help.

[02bmw76]

This is true in life. Diversity.