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Keith Thomson

Keith Thomson

Posted: December 26, 2008 11:40 AM

MILF's Problem with MILFs


MILF recently burst into international news with the capture of a crashed American robotic spy plane. MILF, in this case, is the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a Muslim rebel group using terrorism to bring about an independent Islamic state in the Philippines. The group has the misfortune of making headlines that read like punch lines because of another MILF, the acronym for Mother I'd Like to [expletive redacted]. That MILF entered the vernacular with the movie "American Pie" and then was immortalized by a show within the Tina Fey sit-com "30 Rock"--the "Survivor"-esque "MILF Island," trumpeted as "Twenty MILFs, fifty eighth-grade boys, and no rules!"

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"MILF Island," from "30 Rock"

By sticking with its current acronym, the Islamic version of MILF is in a precarious position made famous by Richard Nixon's fundraising organization, the Committee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP).

MILF might seek counsel from other acronymically-challenged efforts, like Seattle's South Lake Union Trolley (SLUT) or the Catholic League of Decency (CLOD).

Corporations with the same impediment include Cummins Engine Company, whose stock symbol is CUM. Cysco's Broadband Access Device is known as BAD. Planned Unit Development goes by PUD.

As everyone knows the military loves acronyms. Too much in some cases, like Direct Input Limited Duty Officer, a college graduate commissioned by the Navy as Reserve Officer for the specific duty of teaching. The acronym: DILDO.

The entertainment industry, which ought to have a better handle on communication, includes the unions SAG (Screen Actors Guild), GAG (Graphics Artists Guild) and ASCAP (American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers).

The federal government at least deserves a tip of the hat for candor in its laughable acronyms, like Jimmy Carter's energy policy, the Moral Equivalent of War--MEOW--and, of course, the common abbreviation for the House of Representatives--HOR.

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MILFs with spy plane [photo courtesy of MILF]

Happily for the MILF rebels, their acronym issue is lost in translation to Filipino languages. Should the MILFs hope to garner the sympathies in the English-speaking world, however, they might consider reverting to their original appellation, MNLF (Moro National Liberation Front) or choosing a new one. Just as long as they stay away from Moro Islamic Militia Effort (MIME).


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