So some of you may have heard that thanks to a lady named Irene I've been slightly distracted by having to evacuate my home so I'm just now catching up on the latest celebrity baby news. Normally I find the news that a celebrity I've never met is having a child about as interesting as news that any stranger that I've never met and will probably never meet, is having one. But when I found out that Beyonce Knowles is expecting I was actually happy to hear it, and not because I'm one of her many devoted fans. (Before they all gang up on me let me say for the record that I wouldn't call myself a non-fan, but musically speaking I'm more of a Stevie Wonder and Stevie Nicks kind of gal, although I do have a Jay-Z song or two on my iPod.) But I was happy to hear the news of Beyonce's pregnancy because fans of hip-hop will finally have two high-profile role models who are having a child within a committed, financially stable relationship, and not just a relationship, a marriage.
We've all heard the statistics, but they bear repeating. In the last ten years the number of children born out of wedlock has skyrocketed by 25 percent. Now, nearly 40 percent of kids are born to single mothers and among African-Americans the number is higher than 70 percent. And contrary to the myth the majority of these kids are not being raised in the luxury and security that Angelina Jolie's kids are or any other celebrity who makes single parenthood look easy and glamorous. What we often don't see behind the glamour are the nannies, maids and in-home tutors that few parents, particularly single parents, can afford. (And in Jolie's case she now has Brad Pitt as a life partner, a luxury in itself -- in more ways than one.)
The reality for a significant number of children born to unwed parents remains poverty, particularly for children of color. (For the record, my mom was once one of these single moms of color doing the best that she could and a pretty good job I might add.) Despite this being the reality, countless celebrities continue to help perpetuate the notion that having children out of wedlock is an ideal to aspire to. After all, would Bristol Palin have been selected for Dancing with the Stars, if she was just another college student with no photogenic baby in tow?
Among certain celebrities of color having multiple children out of wedlock appears to have become a status symbol among the men and a viable career path among the women. From what I have been able to gather almost none of the "cast members" of the reality show Basketball Wives are wives at all but women who have managed to make a comfortable living for themselves having children with professional athletes, while P. Diddy (at least I think that's the moniker he's going by these days) has at least five children by three different women, and the rapper Lil' Wayne has four children by four different women. Even if they are financially supporting all of their children (and I have heard nothing to suggest otherwise), do children emotionally know the difference between an absentee father they rarely see, who sends a check and an absentee father they rarely see who doesn't? While I applaud both men for not making their kids statistics in the financial sense, will their children grow up understanding the importance of a father sticking around to be involved in raising a child if they never saw their own father do the same?
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Keli Goff is the author of The GQ Candidate and a Contributing Editor for TheLoop21.com where this post originally appeared in its entirety.
Follow Keli Goff on Twitter: www.twitter.com/keligoff
Pregnant Quiz
And if you invite policymakers to celebrate Beyonce's pregnancy because she is married, does that mean you'd be inviting them to scorn, disparage, or condemn her pregnancy if she was a single mom?
Ms. Goff, you cannot pick and choose whose pregnancies policymakers (or the public) get to pass judgement on. If you invite them to celebrate this pregnancy, you are inviting them to pass judgment on all the other pregnancies out there.
To me, that seems to be the very worst idea I've heard all day. Have you met America's policymakers? Have you seen the sort of judgments they make?
It would seem better to leave celebrities out of the discussion altogether, and focus on the millions of American kids who are being born to single mothers. And on the non-celebrity adults who keep having unprotected sex and keep creating all these unplanned babies.
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From Black Demographics:
'' The Black alone households total 14.7 million. Of that, approximately 38.4% are in the middle class, with earnings between $35K – $100K annually.''
http://www.blackdemographics.com/middle_class.html
Given a lower incidence among Middle-Class folk, then it is likely that figure for working-class African-Americans is more likely to be around 80%.
It would be useful to know the statistics for those children raised in a single-parent household and those raised by parents living together but not married.
The focus on celebrities is pretty much meaningless.
If you were the child of a mother who had you at 14, and there was no father in the house, and she herself was a child of somebody who had her at 14, there isn't a lot of knowledge or life experiences to pass down. I would NEVER take advice from a 14 year old, and yet here we have them making decisions for infants and trying to teach them how to live.
There is something reeeeeeeallly wrong with that.
There's a first time for everything.