Hell Has Officially Frozen Over... I Agree with Ann Coulter on Something
Let me start by saying that I am just as shocked as you are by the title of this post, as is my mother and probably every other family member, friend and political ally -- I have ever had. But every now and then the truth is worth the risk of a little embarrassment.
I can tell you that over the years I have found Ann Coulter's statements about Martin Luther King, Jr., the Confederate flag, the 9/11 widows and just about everything else under the sun as offensive as most of you have. (And unlike a lot of you I have had to endure the gross misfortune of actually being forced to read one of her books for a job). It is for this very reason -- the fact that there is so much to despise in this woman and her writing, that I am having a hard time understanding why high profile members of the media seem to have chosen to harp on one of the few legitimate claims she has ever made: namely that single motherhood has had some well-documented negative consequences in our society -- and our culture's increasingly laissez faire (liberal if you will) attitude has something to do with this.
Now let me be clear. Yes I know that there are some wonderful single mothers (and single fathers) out there. I also know that one awesome mother is better than two, three, or even four inadequate parents. But as they say, "It takes a village to raise a child," and if the village in your own home is bigger and sturdier then so is the foundation for that kid. Before the critics start inundating me with irate e-mails, comments or pelting me with tomatoes, let me just say off the bat that no I am not speaking as a parent myself, (I am not one), nor as a social worker (I am not one of those either). But I am speaking as someone who has watched the breakdown of the nuclear family decimate a significant portion of my community.
I have written at length on this site about some of the jarring statistics regarding both incarceration and AIDS rates in the black community. While there are clear historical differences between black Americans and other Americans (namely slavery and segregation) there is also one significant cultural difference that has emerged in the last three decades. Though out of wedlock births have increased across the board, among black Americans they have skyrocketed to nearly 70%. If anything, Coulter's assertion that single motherhood, not race is the real indicator when it comes to socio-political issues, like crime, may be one of the least racist things she has ever said.
So why does her assertion seem to have people in such a tizzy? For one, the truth hurts.
While Madonna, Angelina Jolie and others made single motherhood look easy and glamorous (before each settled down with their equally glamorous husband and male partner respectively) they had a support team of nannies and assistants -- their very own self-financed village if you will -- that most of us don't and never will. (And to Angelina Jolie's credit she opened her single-parent home to an adopted child, an act that is an important caveat to the "selfish" argument Coulter makes about single motherhood by choice; an argument that has some merit.) But even with an army of help we all know there are no guarantees.
Just as there are no guarantees even when a child is born and raised in a two-parent household.
As I have written before, I do believe that families come in all shapes and sizes, but as someone who is both pro-choice AND pro-family I dream of a day when every child born is a wanted child, a loved child and a child raised with every single educational and socio-economic opportunity that our country promises them.
The sad reality is that the chance of a child realizing his or her full potential is not impossible when raised in a single-parent household, but it is tougher.
As a promotional video for Amachi, the nonprofit mentoring organization founded for the children of incarcerated parents notes, "You've got to see a man to be a man." That may be slight hyperbole, but there is no doubt that it can help.
Critics of Coulter might be surprised to learn that her logic (who ever thought logic and Coulter would be used in the same sentence) puts her in some unlikely ideological company. In 1965 future Democratic Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan evoked criticism with his report titled "The Negro Family: The Case for National Action." Often referred to as the Moynihan Report, in it he speculates that poverty combined with an increasing dependence on a matriarchal family structure would have dire consequences on the future of inner city African-Americans. Today, with some of his predictions proved true, Moynihan now seems less controversial than clairvoyant.
And even Chris Rock once joked in his stand-up special that he was sick of hearing women say, "You don't need a man to raise kids... yes you can have a kid without a man. That doesn't mean it is to be done. You could drive a car with your feet. That doesn't make it a good idea."
Even my mom -- once a single mother herself -- has lamented the differences between single motherhood in "her day" compared to the cultural acceptance that has made it seem like no big deal for mother and child today. In addition to Jamie Lynn Spears, and Bristol Palin today, during my teen years she was horrified to discover the increasing number of adults who had begun to throw festive baby showers for expectant teen mothers and their girlfriends -- as if this were really an achievement to celebrate.
My point is that there is plenty to criticize Ann Coulter for, (including her ridiculous insistence on referring to the president-elect by his middle name). So if we must be forced to endure her presence in the media (that is if she is not going to be officially banned) then why not actually attack her for her ample crazy talk instead of making her look halfway sane by condemning her for those arguments which actually make sense, even when they make some of us uncomfortable.
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Ann Coulter “The View” Video (01/12/09)
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I am not sure what Ms. Coulter's intent was when she wrote this book, other than to make millions, but it is a conduit for dialogue, but whether we agree with her or not, it is a good thing that we are discussing the issues. However, I think we should be less concerned with who is doing the crime and focus more on the root cause of the criminal behavior, and that is education and poverty.
Whether a child is from a single family home or a two-parent family, all should have the opportunity to attend college. We need more aid and funding for the pursuit of higher education.
Quoting offensive, devisive and manipulated data sells books, but I wonder how much of Ms. Coulter's millions is donated to fund a poor kid's college education. My guess is none. Action speaks so much louder than words. The solution to crime and poverty is education, and that a statistic worth writing about.
Actual statistics show correlation between education, poverty and crime rates. The assumption is that children of single parents are more likely to live in economically disadvantaged communiities. There are so many contradictions to this theory and exceptions to the rule, I don't think Ann's argument will hold up under the scrutiny of fact-based data. One factor that will impact the data is that there are many high income women who are choosing to become single parents, and there are also larger numbers of working poor couples who live in high crime areas because of affordability. In any case, as a data analyst, I am fully aware of how data can be manipulated to support desired result to a number of hypotheses.
One thing I am sure of is that when people don't have jobs and means to provide basic essentials for their families, the crime rate will go up and we will see criminal behavior increasing in unlike areas by unlikely people. This point the blame game will become moot.
How Coulter has chosen to address these statistics is indicative of the problem: single mothers are to blame. Why is it she didn't address the issue as 'absentee fatherism?'
Is she out campaigning for better sex education and access to birth control to reduce the amount of unexpected single parenthood? Nope, none of that talk. And *GASP* there are children of MARRIED parents in prison too....so if its reducing the incarceration rate she's after, it is a bit more complex than 'everyone getting married.' And, geez, most single parents I know would give their eye-teeth for a supportive partner - they would say its not been their choice so much as that's how it worked out and they had to deal with it. The other funny thing is, that these women who DO really CHOOSE to have children as a single parent, tend to be of an income to allow that - making the children of these women statistically unlikely to ever end up in prison.
Having dated many single moms as well as having taught their offspring for many years, I agree with Ann. I think it’s a shame so many people get easily offended rather than looking at the source of the problem: poor choices in breeding partners. If these single moms would take the necessary precautions, maybe Ann wouldn’t have to write a chapter that “offends” you all so much. And if it were only one child that each single mom had, the ladies might have a point. But most are repeat offenders many times over. And what everyone here is afraid to break the statistics out on is how many of our US single moms are black and repeat offenders. That certainly would get everyone’s panties in a wad. I also think many women have children due to the ticking of their biological clocks but never intend to actually be wives.
Check and mate - teen parents have society over a barrel. Blame isn't a useful concept here because to "punish" teenage mothers OR fathers with costs, emotional and financial, of parenthood actually punishes their baby. I propose we require teen parents to perform hard manual labor (while their children are in high-quality daycare and schools), you know, the kind of work illegal immigrants are willing to do to feed their children. Awareness of that consequence would quickly put an end to most teen pregnancy and for that matter, teen sex.
Freedom of choice does NOT mean freedom from consequences, a concept which seems to be lost in modern society!
As a person working in public health, I can tell you that undocumented workers have plenty of single mothers in their community, whether single or married, almost all get free care during and after pregnancy.
What is wrong with Coulter bringing up how problematic having children out of wedlock is? Is it "racist"
to you guys or something?
I'm a black guy, and I hear the same thing in my black church. The pastor says that having children out of wedlock is problematic and is one of the things hurting the black community, and that women and men should be more careful.
If Coulter is so wrong on this, what would your advice to women and blacks folks be? "Have as many babies as you want out of wedlock; or just abort them?"
If you don't agree with Coulter, fine, but you need to know that even a broken clock is right twice a day.
I am in complete agreement with sherwoodforest. Ms. Goff has missed the point entirely and in so doing has fallen haplessly in line with people like speyflyfisher who blame and scapegoat women for society's ills. The social issue is clearly not single motherhood but rather it is social and economic oppression and inequality. As Bob Dylan wrote, "When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose". Poverty, racism, and classism breed dead end communities and crime. Not single mothers.
It is not the single mother issue that Colter is raising. It is her insanely twisted use of the single mother issue to denigrate the left. Single mothers are not all left wingers and it really is not a partisan issue. There are plenty of conservative single moms out there. Colter tries to say they are claiming victimhood and are all liberals. This just is not true.
But the real problem is- like all things conservative- how they see to address that problem They want to punish single mothers, rather than support free medical care, education and child daycare- all things that would solve this "problem". That's how modern societies in Europe have handled it. When I lived in Europe- every women my age had a child, a career, and well educated kids were and many if not most of them did it as "single moms".
American women are the losers, not the "problem".
After conception men do not have a choice but women do. With a 50% rate of false rape claims in NYC as an example, there is a ton of entrapment by women thinking they can benefit from an unplanned pregnancy taking advantage of men.
Women are far more responsible for giving birth than men. If they are the only party who has the choice to procreate they must be responsible for the consequences.
The numerous statistics showing how single mothers are responsible for the many ills of society needs to finally be heard loud and clear.
When women are 300-400% more likely to bite, kick, slap, or use weapons in domestic violence incidents the gender needs to accept their failures and not blame people who are unable to choose whether a child is born after conception.
Women have fought for decades for equality for decades, but they ignore their genders problems and angrily attack someone, who I despise, that speaks the truth.
The matriarchs of our society need to speak out and stop the irresponsibility of their gender. If you want to be treated equally then their rights cannot usurp a man's rights
So I take it your pro-choice? Do you think men have a responsibility to wear condoms, abstain or get vasectomies if they don't want children? I hope you're not one of these men who wants to have fun, but share no blame.
FYI, "your" is a possessive pronoun whereas "you're" is a contraction of "you are" -as in "So I take it you're pro-choice?" Don't thank me, thank my fourth-grade teacher!
Ann Coulter is right about this. I saw it when I was a public school teacher for 15 years. I switched to private schools three years ago.
My problem with Ann is that she supports administrations and policies that are against birth control and a woman's right to choose. I don't believe for an instant that Ann is a virgin or celibate. I'm not saying that abortion is the answer, but birth control and education is. I don't think teenagers should be sexually active, but they are! Witness the Spears girl and Bristol Palin. I think it's absurd to deny it or think that we can convince teens to be abstinent. We need to encourage them to wait, give them the information they need about the consequences if they don't, and give them access to birth control. I really hate the idea of this being solved by abortions, so I'm not advocating that, but pretending that teenagers don't have sex or that women (and men) don't have unprotected sex on a fairly regular basis is just plain stupid. Birth control should be covered by insurance and medicare. Birth control research needs to be a top priority so it can become very safe, very easy to use, and very easy to afford.
What about the fathers responsibilies?
Men do not have a choice whether a child is born after conception while a woman has 6 months. This is blatently unconstitutional. If men had the right of financial abortion, women would likely be more responsible with their vaginas.
How about men being responsible about where they place their penises?
In Gladwell's "The Tipping Point" he identifies a correlation between older parents (29 yrs. plus) and their happier and more successful children. My guess is that most single mothers are very young if you don't count those out older-fina
Additionally, teens clearly do not see single-parenting as the overwhelmingly difficult challenge it is...THAT is a failure of education as well as of the media which portrays motherhood as a series of charming vignettes resulting in successful careers and often "getting the guy" to boot (Waitress, Friends, Knocked Up) whose babies are never any trouble, their figures are unchanged except for a little
"baby bump" and there is no emotional impact. Ironic that liberal Hollywood almost never portrays an abortion. The strangest thing of all is that Ms. Coulter gives her Pal Sarah "the Next Reagan" Palin a pass on her teen-mother daughter because...
In many ethnic groups and cultures, when a teen has a baby, the whole family sees the baby as everyone's responsibility and no one *in particular's* responsibility. In my stepfamily, I see a lot of teens having children and the babies, then toddlers, then adolescents and teens get passed from family member to family member. That's not right.
As you stated, "it takes a village to raise a child" and the problem is not single parenthood but a shift from the extended family to the nuclear family. When multiple family members are involved in the raising of a child it doesn't matter if a child has one parent due to irresponsibility, tragedy or divorce because there are many people involved and responsible. Also, there was a time when neighbors, teachers and strangers looked out for our children and corrected our children when they were wrong... there has been a complete cultural shift and one component can not be blamed for a bigger problem...
Annie is very condescending and manipulative but I understand that she has to do whatever it takes to make a living.
A poke at single moms in general causes enough outrage to get her in the spotlight to sell books. Pathetic.
Drug use has negative consequences on society, Alcohol has negative consequences on society, Gangs have a negative consequences on society, smog, litter, traffic. Celebrity status for Ann Coulter has negative consequences on society. Peace.
Whether single motherhood is good or bad isn't really the debate. Coulter is claiming from her prison statistics that they prove single motherhood produces criminals. That is like saying I have a dent in my car and a hole in my windshield and saying the dent caused the hole when it was a third thing, an accident, that caused them both.
Sure 70% or whatever her number was of inmates come from single parent homes, but I would bet that the percentage of inmates coming from poverty is even larger. Low Socioeconomic status is a factor in predicting single motherhood AND incarceration. If only Ann Coulter had that second brain cell to rub with her one and only, then she might be able to grasp a concept taught in first year Social Science classes. Correlation does not imply causation.
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