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Keli Goff

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What Michelle Obama, Heidi Klum and I Have in Common (And Why It's Time for Us to Put One Gigantic Foot Down)

Posted: 08/09/2011 8:43 am

We ladies clearly don't have enough to worry about when it comes to our body image, so in addition to our thighs, our tummies, our rear-ends, our chests and our faces, the media has helpfully pointed out yet another body part we are supposed to feel insecure about: our feet.

In case you haven't heard we're getting bigger -- and I'm not just referring to the obesity epidemic. Humans are expanding both horizontally and vertically, with our height increasing right along with our waistlines. As a result our shoe sizes are increasing too. Though this development is affecting both sexes, it does not appear to be affecting both sexes the same way emotionally. According to a new study referenced in The Daily Mail half of all women now lie to both their friends and sexual partners about their shoe size. (Yes you read that correctly.) While two-thirds expressed embarrassment at asking sales associates for assistance in shoe stores, driving some to limit shoe shopping to online purchases only.

This means that shoe size has officially joined weight as one of those dirty little secrets we keep from everyone but our doctor. But unlike weight, which has a direct connection to our health and fitness, and which most of us have some control over, there is very little we can do to affect what size shoe we wear. So why do we care?

I'm no expert (although as a proud 5'll inch woman who wears a size 11 shoe -- with the heel, higher the better, thank you very much -- I guess I could be) but I do have a theory or two.

It's worth noting that the practice of making women feel insecure about having anything larger than a child's foot is not exactly new. For centuries the gruesome practice of foot binding took place in China, with the feet of young girls bound until bones were broken to ensure their feet remained small enough to attract a quality husband. The practice left countless women deformed and disabled.

While we may not go to the same extremes here (although plenty of podiatrists may argue that what we do to our bodies over the long haul by wearing stilettos isn't that much more enlightened) our own attitudes on this are probably not as evolved as we'd like to think.

Despite the tremendous strides women have made in higher education, employment and compensation, there are still some fairy tales that we are all supposed to buy into that reinforce age-old gender stereotypes. One movie reinforces the most enduring of these stereotypes more than any other. I'm speaking of course of the Disney classic Cinderella. Despite everything that we may accomplish on our own, we are still supposed to wait patiently for a Prince Charming to ride in and solve all of our problems -- but only if the shoe fits. And damn it that shoe -- no matter how small -- better fit before he moves on to someone more dainty, lady-like and worthy of the crown. My point is no matter how much we achieve there are still a few key boxes we feel like we are expected to check as part of being a lady. For some, that means not out-earning your man in the compensation department. For others it's not out-sizing him in the shoe department.

But as we get taller as a species, our fashion and beauty icons are getting taller too, which means there are now plenty of women who epitomize femininity who couldn't squeeze into Cinderella's glass slipper, among them supermodel Heidi Klum and our very own First Lady Michelle Obama.

So the next time your boyfriend, girlfriend or a sales associate asks you your shoe size ladies, say it loud and proud. Because if he's a real Prince Charming he'll not only love you anyway, but he will go out of his way to find shoes fit for his queen, instead of trying to force his queen to squeeze into that uncomfortable looking glass slipper. (Click here to see my personal list of favorite stores and brands that carry ladies sizes 10 and up.)

Keli Goff is the author of The GQ Candidate. She is a Contributing Editor for TheLoop21.com where this post originally appeared.

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12:06 PM on 08/12/2011
As a child I was forced to wear tiny, narrow, pointy, hard plastic shoes that caused my little toes to fold under the fourth toes permanently, and my feet to sweat (which made those damp, plastic shoes smell bad, too).
As a young adult I continued wearing shoes too small, as I did not yet know what a shoe was supposed to feel like when properly fitted. Too small and high heeled - to dance, no less!
Thankfully I was rescued from the dominant culture by the back-to-the-land crowd, who showed me - among other useful things - how to dress for health, and dance without pain.
My feet continue to grow throughout adulthood, and I have gone from an (tight) 8 in college to to a comfy 10.5 or 11 in my mid-50s.
I buy most of my shoes online, which only works because I have released myself from the compulsion to buy the smallest shoes in 'my range.' I buy a little larger than I think I need, and add natural shearling liners to make a snug, comfortable fit.
Happy feet! Life is so much better with happy feet! Be good to yourself, ladies. Let your toes breathe.
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syds180turn
Independent and Proud of It!
07:41 PM on 08/10/2011
Please, we as women, allow ourselves to feel insecure. No one can make you feel bad if you just don't listen to the ridiculousness. I wear a size 9 or 9.5 and have no problems with asking for my correct shoe size. I refuse to walk around with my feet hurting because I'm too vain to buy the right size. Besides that, shoe size has never deterred me from landing a man. That is one thing men couldn't care less about and I wouldn't care if they did. I've been married along time and not once has my husband said a thing about my feet.
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tsudopnem
I'm just this gal, y'know?
08:02 AM on 08/10/2011
I'm usually a size 6, sometimes I can wear a 5.5 if it's not too narrow. I refuse to wear heels, even though I'm only 5' tall. What's sexier, an extra few inches of height at the expense of hidden corns and malformed feet, or a healthy posture and pretty feet?
10:57 AM on 08/10/2011
As a guy, it really doesn't matter to me. However, wear the right size. When the feet are crammed into too small shoes they look like bread loaves rising with too much yeast.
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April Pells
07:45 AM on 08/10/2011
9.5 here, and no shame whatsoever, though I have had friends that squeeze their feet into tiny shoes.
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margoharris
I used to be Snow White but I drifted.
04:45 AM on 08/10/2011
I wear size 8, a very common womans foot size, and the selection is usually limited if you don't get out and buy early in the seasons.
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11:54 PM on 08/09/2011
I doubt whether most men care a jot about the size of our feet. That's not where they are looking.

In fact, I am betting that Heidi Klum could stomp about in fire-engine red clown-shoes - and most men would never even notice.
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dovelove
Laissez les bons temps rouler.
11:49 PM on 08/09/2011
Size 9 here and nowhere near tall, unfortunately.
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LisaLisa1234
10:37 PM on 08/09/2011
I've never in my life felt that my size 10 feet were something to be ashamed of. The size did prevent me from getting the styles I wanted when I was younger, but it seems 10 is now a more popular size & I have no issues.

An old friend of mine freaked out when he saw that my toes were almost as long as his pinky. I figured it was more his issue than mine. Those toes made me very fast in the water, and I think they wear a pedicure very well.
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littlebrowngirl
Brevity is the soul of wit - Shakespeare
10:14 PM on 08/09/2011
10 is a very common size shoe for women. If you are an 11 or above you will have trouble finding shoes. Nordstroms Rack is the best.
09:43 PM on 08/09/2011
My daughter, at 13, has I hope, finally topped out at a size 9.5, with a narrow heel. I only hope this
because she loves shoes and can't find the ones everyone has, that she also likes.
She was bummed out about it, but it's just life and it goes on.
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sodisenchanted
oh yea, well don't tread on me either!
09:06 PM on 08/09/2011
As a 55 year old woman with Lupus and a size 6 foot that was a size 5 until I got older and fatter I can give you lots of reasons to be glad you have larger feet.

1. Larger feet spread your weight better and suffer from arthritis less.
2. Women with small feet often can't wear knee high boots because their feet are smaller than their legs.
3. The smaller the feet, the lower the heels you can wear because you literally run out of foot to stand on.
4. When big legged pants are in, your feet are always getting hung up in them.
5. Guys with a foot fetish want to date your feet and not you.

I could go on but doubt I need to. I always wished I wore a size 8 so I could wear knee boots. I tried stuffing the toes but then I tripped too much.

I guess the grass is always greener, right?
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tsudopnem
I'm just this gal, y'know?
08:03 AM on 08/10/2011
You could always have had your boots stretched, as long as they didn't have zippers. I have to do that, because my calves are wider than the size 5.5 or 6 boots that I buy.
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Kathleen Shimp
Artist, cats, a bit ill, 40ish
11:27 PM on 08/10/2011
I have to fan you because so few people understand these things. Size 4.5 to 5.5 here, depending on various factors, and my feet were definitely not designed to support more than 140 lbs, if that. They certainly weren't designed to balance a body near 5'5" tall, either. Sure that's pretty average overall, but most women I've known of with my shoe size are 4 to 6 inches shorter than me.
And that also means that even when I manage to stay thin enough that those boots aren't too tight, they don't reach my knee.
07:17 PM on 08/09/2011
When it comes to shoes and hats women are fools! You kid yourself into thinking that "pretty" shoes are comfortable and ridiculous hats make you look exotic.

You salivate over designs by gay men who I personally believe just want to find out how far they can press ridiculous designs to make you torture yourselves.

To make matters worse, you force your foot into shoes that are far too small with heels far too high because you like the way it makes your T&A jut out and you can prove your gracious ability to balance yourself on one square inch.

I swear that my mother-in-law ate beans on the night of her bridge party for the express purpose of finding less pain holding in the gas than wearing the shoes!
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
12:57 AM on 08/10/2011
Not all of us do any of that, mate. Some of us wear shoes that ARE comfortable - no heels for me, nor no strappy things that'll blister my feet, nor hats that don't either keep my head warm in winter nor shade it in summer. No clothes that cause pain or discomfort are good-looking in my book.
07:08 PM on 08/10/2011
I always identify and respect sensible people.

Sensible people create their own fashion that can blend in or stand out based on the occasion and their personal desire while appearing and behaving comfortably.
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tsudopnem
I'm just this gal, y'know?
08:07 AM on 08/10/2011
I have some amazing boots that are more comfortable than slippers. Robert Clergerie's Juan boots. Amazing, quality, and comfortable. I salivated over these boots, and just got my second pair in 7 years (I wore my first pair to death.)

Oh yeah, no high heels:
http://www.shoptheshoebox.com/juan-ankle-boot/24013/172497?source=shopstyle
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longnow
Citizens United vs US
06:06 PM on 08/09/2011
Eat dairy, get big bones. Stop drinking milk
and forget about calcium and the calcium supplements
for bones.
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Absolute
Teacher and Old-School Liberal
05:21 PM on 08/09/2011
I'm tall and my formerly size 10 feet are now size 11s. I'm able to find shoes in stores because I live in the NYC area. But I do a lot of on line shopping.

I love my feet because I use them to run, walk, dance, jump, play. I've never had a problem attracting men and I've never had a complex about my feet. But I used to be embarrassed by my skinny legs.
06:00 PM on 08/09/2011
Yeah, I'm not sure where all this "men like small feet" stuff comes from. Outside of the subset of men with foot fetishes, us fellas care not one whit about your feet. Heck, most of us don't notice when you get a pedicure.
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MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
04:39 PM on 08/09/2011
What would happen if you just didn't care?