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Kelly Cogswell

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After Sandusky, Back to Being Pedophiles

Posted: 11/15/11 03:48 PM ET

Jerry Sandusky, an assistant football coach at Penn State, had such a passion for underprivileged boys that he started his own foundation, The Second Mile, to help them whether they wanted it or not. "Sometimes they don't want it. Sometimes they don't understand what you're trying to do, but they want to be disciplined." That was a statement from his creepy '87 interview with NBC.

Now he's facing 40 counts of rape and assault, including two occasions at the school. Once, a janitor saw him "hugging" a young boy in the shower. Another time, an assistant coach actually saw him raping a kid. They both reported the occasions to their bosses, and when the bosses did nothing, they didn't pursue.

And if Sandusky's a criminal and perv, what do you call the circle of more than 15 men who knew he was abusing kids and let it go on? Even a bishop would have been troubled enough, at least for the sake of the institution, to move the guy to a different parish. But in the cloistered world of football, old Jerry stayed right where he was.

As for the students who rioted on behalf of the legendary head coach Joe Paterno, who got canned for turning a blind eye, well, I guess they don't think the lives of "underprivileged" boys count for much, not next to that of the winningest coach ever. With a wife and five kids, all Penn State grads, doing their bit to stack the stadium with 17(!) grandkids, Paterno had nothing to do with that homo Sandusky.

Yeah, that's right. Already in sports forums online, commenters are once again busy conflating homosexuality with pedophilia. Probably somewhere down the line, we'll even hear that poor Jerry was abused himself as a child. And the circle of guilt and blame will be offloaded -- again -- onto us queers, homos, fags (words not invoked in our slightly ironic, bittersweet way, but hatefully, with a slightly curled lip).

My only new thought is that the persistence of this stereotype is partly our own fault. The closer we get to legal equality, the more closeted we get about gay sex. Maybe it started with AIDS, when we wanted to separate gayness from sex because of the stigma of the disease.

But this sexlessness has gotten even more intense as our institutions have begun to focus on same-sex marriage. We mostly stick to talking points about the equal rights we want to win, like social security benefits, or the ability to file joint taxes. But more than anything, we wax lyrical about consecrating the love between two people who just happen to be of the same gender. Love, love, love, love, love. We want them to forget that those happily married couples will no doubt have sex, because that's what the bigots hate.

Two men getting it on. Two women. They have dirty minds. They imagine us as animals. With children. They work themselves up into pure disgust. That's probably what kept the Penn State guys in denial about Sandusky (who actually was doing all that), as much as the fear of what it would do to their football program.

And our fear of that fear, that disgust, is what drives lesbians and gay men into the sex closet, even as more and more of us are open about our "identities." It's why we've abandoned gay kids to bullies in schools. Get too close, somebody might think something ugly about us. And on the few occasions that lesbians or gay men have tried to do something about schools, our worst critics have been other queers.

I was a Lesbian Avenger. In 1992, for our first action, we demonstrated in favor of New York City's ill-fated Rainbow Curriculum, which was supposed to teach kids to respect each other. Most of it was about ethnicity, but out of the 440-something pages, six actually mentioned lesbians and gay men. So there was a huge backlash.

Our action: going to an elementary school with a marching band, handing out pamphlets with info about famous LGBT people, and balloons that said, "Ask about lesbian lives." Our t-shirts read, "I was a lesbian child." A few parents were upset, but most weren't. Our intent was clear: telling people to get informed and chill out about the whole thing.

And while Christian extremists responded the way they always did, the surprise was the queers. They were horrified that we'd gone to a school, like they were sacred places. Full of children. My god.

It's the same today. We'd rather let kids get bullied and abused and kill themselves than help them and risk getting called pedophiles ourselves. What does that say about us? And nothing will change until we get those bigots out of our heads and scream to the world, "We fuck. So what?"

 
Jerry Sandusky, an assistant football coach at Penn State, had such a passion for underprivileged boys that he started his own foundation, The Second Mile, to help them whether they wanted it or not. ...
Jerry Sandusky, an assistant football coach at Penn State, had such a passion for underprivileged boys that he started his own foundation, The Second Mile, to help them whether they wanted it or not. ...
 
 
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07:34 AM on 11/20/2011
What I find interetsing is how Sanduskies wife is rarely mentioned. She is MIA as far as the media is concerned. If he had a boyfriend you would hear about this fact everyday. They are trying to imply that he is gay and not the married heterosexual man that he is.

I myself DON"T want to talk about sex. Sex IS private and if straight people talk about it all the time that offends me. However I agree gay people are homophobic too and accept second class status and are not in your face enough. It's hard to overcome a lifetime of hateful propoganda. Not being able to marry never used to worry me. Now I am angry that I am a second class citizen.
11:20 AM on 11/17/2011
I never understood why people equate Homosexuality with Pedophilia. I do not understand why love between two consenting adults is lumped into an act of an adult with a child who is too young to make such sexual choices. I do not for the life of me get anyone who calls pedophiles who can include older women who have and do sexually assault young men with being gay. Ignorance sure is rampant about this issue and many choose to ignore the fact that many of these predators are in straight relationships or put themselves in positions that deny sexual contact until their baser instincts take over and they go after those who are too young to fight them off. It is sad that people put a homosexual label to something that is criminal and destroys young lives. There is a huge difference between the two and just because it does not float your boat of two men together or two women does not mean that they deserve to be lumped into the same boat as a predator who targets children.
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nikanj
free the fnords
05:21 PM on 11/16/2011
And what IF Jerry was abused himself as a child ? Perhaps by his father ?
People do not understand the deep dynamics of this sort of situation.
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Erin84
08:20 PM on 11/16/2011
It's no excuse.
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John Hazelton Smith
Don't get caught...
10:17 PM on 11/16/2011
He probably was, as pedophilia is classified in the DSM and is considered a mental disorder. Childhood abuse and/or co morbid psychiatric illness are risk factors for acting on pedophilic urges and pedophiles have impaired interpersonal functioning and elevated passive-aggressiveness, as well as impaired self-concept. More or less, the disorder is a power trip for these people and usually has little to do with sex. Even though the disease presents an unnatural attraction to prepubescent children, the tactics that pedophiles use to gain the trust and keep the silence of their victims stems from the passive aggressive aspect to control the situation and remove themselves from blame. Loyola University B.S., 1993; PhD psychology, 1997; PsD 2000.
08:30 AM on 11/16/2011
The overwhelming scientific evidence stands in sharp contrast to the writer's premise and it would be highly likely for Sandusky to have been molested himself as a boy and to be labeled in academia as a "homosexual pedophile".

http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF08L46.pdf
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nikanj
free the fnords
12:54 PM on 11/16/2011
Thank you for the link. A well researched and documented article.
This is a much more complex issue than this author and most commenters think.
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Erin84
08:21 PM on 11/16/2011
It's the Family Research Council, professional, well-paid anti-gay lobbyists. They have zero credibility.
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Erin84
01:39 PM on 11/16/2011
"The overwhelming scientific evidence?" Wow, that's a laugh.
04:03 AM on 11/16/2011
I can't believe in 2011 people are still equating pedophilia to homosexuality.
11:50 PM on 11/15/2011
I am not sure what I dislike more....

Your attempt to find comparisons between 'we' and a handful of disgusting people at PSU....

Or the vindicated posture you used to remind your readers that straight men have the dispostion to rape young boys, as well....

In some way, beyond my understanding, you have subconsciously asserted that you belong to the more noble orientation.....

At the end of the day, this was a perversion against society.....the fact that it was homosexual by design was merely a coincidence, though
10:46 PM on 11/15/2011
Bull! I am very upset over this whole thing and have spent literally HOURS online reading and no one is calling this a 'queer' problem. No one! Sandusky is not gay he is a pedophile. And nobody is posting anything different.
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smittlib77
11:28 PM on 11/15/2011
Ive seen a couple on HP try to stick the argument. Shame on them.
04:00 AM on 11/16/2011
Theirs plenty of people on this sight calling him gay.
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RCnDC
If U Dont Live Ur Life Being Born, U Live It Dying
10:43 AM on 11/16/2011
right... the fact he's married with kids couldn't mean he's hetero.... both privileges only afforded to heteros...
09:39 PM on 11/15/2011
I dont like what Sandusky did, however we have female school teachers who have molested /raped boys and recieved probation for there sexual assaults on boys, if Sanduskys lawyer ask for the same jail time as female pedophiles who have commited the same crime, who do we blame? I find it amazing that the authors of Huffpost have never mention this fact.
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Kittyburger
Schrodinger's micro-bio may or may not be empty.
06:32 AM on 11/16/2011
Why is this relevant?
08:16 AM on 11/16/2011
When and if Sandusky is sentence would you want to see him recieve 90 days in jail and probation like female predators
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Erin84
01:21 PM on 11/16/2011
2 things: Two wrongs don't make a right. While, it's absolutely an admirable position that we should take crimes of females more seriously, I hope you're not using it to in any way minimize what this guy did. The other thing is this: In all investigations of sex crimes, the crime is considered more and more heinous the younger the victim is, and the severity of punishment usually reflects that. The penalities are also usually more severe for forced sexual contact than for consensual statuatory rape. In some of those nationally known teacher- student relationships, the teacher was having a consensual relationship with a teen-aged child. Yes, that is till wrong, and the victims are still children, but the law will go easier on those teachers. I do think part of it, is the way we view males and females in our culture. Women are considered nurturing and compassionate, while men are more likely to be feared as all-out predators. Because of this, juries may be more likely to buy a female teacher's story when she says she genuinely loved the student, and she was attracted to him and not someone her own age because of her own emotional immaturity and/or psychological problems.
09:18 PM on 11/15/2011
I can understand going to middle schools, high schools, and colleges.. but stay away from elementary schools! Kids that young shouldn't even be thinking romantically about one another. I may be a conservative but I do believe that people are born homosexual (absolutely not 10% of the population as has been estimated), but no one should be parading around schools advocating any form of sexuality. Activism at its worst.
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Erin84
01:28 PM on 11/16/2011
What does this have to do with a coach and mentor raping children under his authority? No one who is rational ever advocates one kind of sexuality over another. I was told time and again in high school that abstinence was the only way I was 100% safe from disease and pregnancy. But, our school board was wise enough to know not all of us would follow that advice, so we were given instruction in the safest forums of contraception and how to use them. Teachers debunked the myths, and they had the most updated info. I don't know about anybody else, but my parents couldn't have given me that info. They came from the days when a diaphram was considered effective contraception. Our school system did the right thing to minimize pregnancy and disease rate for their local population. Some of our better teachers even reminded us of the emotional consequences of having sex before we're ready, and how sex could be used against us in social conflict. I thank my teachers everyday for that. I also had a teacher and a coach who stood up for homosexuals. No one ever told me it was better or worse to be gay. They only knew some people were and that was not a matter of choice and that they were still people who deserved respect. I like the way my school handled it. The head-in- the sand approach is not wise or constructive.
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Erin84
01:37 PM on 11/16/2011
I just want to add that sex is a common human function. There is a safe and dangerous way to go about it. There are also emotionally healthy ways to go about it, and dishonest and hurtful ways to go about it. Sex is not some dirty, abnormal thing that we only do to have kids or when we give into temptation. We need to get past those beliefs because they're damaging. But, like I said, there are harmful, hurtful ways to go about it. It is absolutely correct to be disgusted by a grown-man who coerces and rapes unwilling children, who may not even be at the age where they're interested in sex yet. But to equate that type of behavior to an entire group of people who prefer their sex to be with other people their age who are willing participants and who share mutual feelings and attractions is absolutely insane. Just wanted to get back to that point, because that was the original point of this article.
09:13 PM on 11/15/2011
Kelly I liked that you took on this topic even though it could be one of those that only does harm to even address such absurdity. Great points and food for thought. Good read but heavy topic.
08:51 PM on 11/15/2011
Kelly,
As a straight woman and mom,
my first thought about Sandusky was NOT that he is homosexual.
I thought: he is a child rapist, a sicko, a monster, a pedophile.
By this time, the majority of straight people should really understand the (vast) difference!

Keep writing, keep talking, keep "being out there"!
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VagabondBull
Independent. Atheist. Sometimes misanthrope.
06:41 AM on 11/16/2011
Unfortunately what should be and what really is are two very different things. So many people only care to listen to one side of a story and it's usually the bigots who are shouting the loudest. Or they see a group with a name like the American Family Association and think "they must do something good" and hear them say since Sandusky molested little boys same sex couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt. (that article was on here a couple days ago)
05:59 PM on 11/15/2011
Someone who is gay is a person who as an attraction to someone of the same sex someone who is a pedophile is attracted to children. Most pedophiles get off on the power they have over their victim. The victim of a pedophile has very little to do with the sex of the victim and more to do with access. These people are not straight and they are not gay they are sexual predators who are taking advantage of any opening they have to get close to children. As a male running a football camp gave Sandusky an opportunity to be alone with these young boys he was not likely to get with young female most pedophiles who actually molest children do this as a crime of opportunity. So please do not make the mistake of saying he was gay because he molested little boys. He is a pedophile and no more gay then the men who molest little girls are straight they are all pedophiles and sick people.
09:34 PM on 11/15/2011
That sound like alot of the female teachers who have sex with little boys but only recieve probation for molesting children
05:36 PM on 11/15/2011
I agree. Pedophilia is associated with pre-pubescent children and was the case here. It was not the case with the Catholic priests, who for the most part, molested older children.
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Valksy
civis mundi sum
04:49 PM on 11/15/2011
I am undecided whether what we are seeing is bigotry, or idiocracy. Far too many people are used to lying back and letting the media spoon feed them content that is the intellectual equivalent of baby food.

Following the Sandusky story, one thought came to mind to me - I wondered if the reason he molested boys was because he had access to boys. Many child abusers are not choosy about the gender of their victims (given that they are committing a crime that is about power and domination, not sex) and commit crimes of opportunity. Most sexually abused children know their attacker and private access to young girls would have been harder for someone like Sandusky to orchestrate.

If Sandusky had molested girls, would heterosexual people have been outraged if the LGBT community pointed at ALL of them and called them molesters? Simple answer is, I'm sure they would. Except people blaming LGBT people have a narrative and they won't be shaken from it. It doesn't register to them that Sandusky was married to the same woman in a hetero relationship for decades.

The simple truth is that stats show most abuse is perpetrated by men on girls. Does that mean we are entitled to assume that ALL straight men are offenders?! Using the tortured (and very much incorrect) logic of people use the Sandusky case to victimise LGBT people, then the answer is yes.
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brian464
world peace thru world wide disarmament
04:49 PM on 11/15/2011
Human beings are born sexual and sometimes those children never grow out of their desire for other kids their own age, no matter how old they grow up to.

So when kids are sexual with each other, society looks the other way, but when those same kids for some psychological reason never give up on their childhood play fantasies, they become pedophiles.

Society should take both the victims and the pedophiles and send them to therapy together instead of punishing both the victims ( because they always feel they have done something wrong ) and the adult who never grew out of his childhood and is now punished as a pedophile
08:58 PM on 11/15/2011
I disagree Brian. Kelly mentioned that possibility Sandusky was too a victim at one point and that might have caused him to become a predator. I am not sure if its cyclical type of thing and its news to me that he might have once been prey to someone else like himself. The thought that victims could turn around and be capable of this behavior does not make sense according to all things I have read and how being abused affects most people. Whether a sexual predator was once a victim or not does put him/her in the same light as present victims and forcing both parties to ever have to come together is cruel. There is some thoughts that potential victims of Sandusky who heard his interview with Bob Costas could already be intimidated and Sandusky and his lawyer are now going to go after and attack the victims and life is going to be very hard on them. I imagine most victims of his probably will never be able to come forward especially if they are forced to be at the trial and their identities made public.
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brian464
world peace thru world wide disarmament
10:04 PM on 11/15/2011
The problem with pedophile cases is

people tend to exploit the situation for financial gain or for the publicity

and if there is any indication that the adult showered with kids with limited non-sexual touching, there is a tendency for everyone involved in the situation to exploit the situation.

Also, two weeks ago a 9 year old girl was charged with threatening to kill a police officer by using a chair : http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/02/year-old-florida-girl-charged-with-threatening-to-kill-police-officer/

And a 13 year old boy was arrested for raping a 5 year old girl : http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57324126-504083/13-year-old-charged-with-alleged-rape-of-5-year-old-at-mcdonalds/

So if society is capable of charging minors with a crime, should the same society not jump to the conclusion that every pedophile is evil and every minor is totally innocent ? even though minors have sometimes been charged as adults for committing crimes.

Also, since we know these boys came from troubled homes, they themselves carry a lot of psychological damage to begin with and I would not be surprised if they craved the attention of any adult and sometimes kids do act out sexually to get attention from adults

What is the best solution ?

Therapy will help both the pedophile and the victims and at the same time prevent the exploitation of the situation by the adults involved
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NikitaAhn
Peace is its own reward.
10:46 PM on 11/15/2011
Are you SERIOUSLY suggesting that the victim of sexual abuse be forced to go to therapy WITH his/her abuser? Do you have ANY idea how absurd that is? Pedophilia is NOT simply about kids not growing out of attraction for other kids. It's usually about the power differential, adults who are so insecure that they cannot connect with other adults, so they target kids which whom they are the definitive dominant party in the "relationship". When kids are sexual with each other, when it's consensual it's about two people on the SAME developmental level exploring. But it's NOT always consensual and people DON'T just look the other way. I work in CPS and have worked with both victims and child perpetrators of sexual abuse.

The child who has been abused is a helpless victim. The ADULT who abuses that child has all the power and does irreparable harm to their victim. The ADULT is a grown up who broke the law and HURT KIDS, often repeatedly, for his or her own gratification. They deserve to be punished, or at the least kept from society, as treatment for offenders is historically NOT successful.