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Kelly M. Flanagan
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Kelly is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Wheaton, IL. He writes and blogs regularly about life, love, and community at his blog, UnTangled. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

Entries by Kelly M. Flanagan

Dear Dad, You're Doing It All Wrong (A Letter to Myself)

(2) Comments | Posted February 2, 2015 | 10:46 AM

Dear Dad,

You're doing it all wrong.

Eleven years ago, the doctors handed you a little, pink bundle of vulnerability. You were 26 years old, and you walked out of the hospital entirely responsible for a brand new human being. A whole person. As if that were a totally...

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Les 9 ennemis insoupçonnés du mariage

(3) Comments | Posted November 6, 2014 | 12:37 AM

J'ai de la peine pour la communication dans les couples mariés, parce qu'on l'accuse de tous les maux. Depuis des générations, sondage après sondage, les époux l'ont placée en première place des causes de discorde. C'est faux.

Elle est victime d'un faux procès, comme l'enfant qui rend les coups qu'il...

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Las nueve amenazas para el matrimonio más ignoradas

(3) Comments | Posted November 5, 2014 | 1:09 AM

Me siento mal por la comunicación en el matrimonio, porque siempre le echan la culpa de todo. Generación tras generación y estudio tras estudio, las parejas han calificado la comunicación matrimonial como el mayor problema en el matrimonio. Y no lo es.

La comunicación matrimonial está pagando el pato. Es...

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(4) Comments | Posted November 2, 2014 | 5:22 AM


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Les 9 ennemis insoupçonnés du mariage

(0) Comments | Posted October 25, 2014 | 12:49 PM

J'ai de la peine pour la communication dans les couples mariés, parce qu'on l'accuse de tous les maux. Depuis des générations, sondage après sondage, les époux l'ont placée en première place des causes de discorde. C'est faux.

Elle est victime d'un faux procès, comme l'enfant qui rend les coups qu'il...

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Le 9 minacce più sottovalutate in un matrimonio

(3) Comments | Posted October 22, 2014 | 5:11 AM

La comunicazione fra coniugi gode di una cattiva reputazione, le si scarica addosso tutte le colpe. Per generazioni e generazioni, ricerca dopo ricerca, le coppie hanno sempre classificato il dialogo intraconiugale come problema numero all'interno di un matrimonio. Beh, non lo è.

Mi dispiace per il dialogo fra coniugi....

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9 total unterschätzte Gefahren für eine Ehe

(0) Comments | Posted October 19, 2014 | 8:35 PM

Ich habe Mitleid mit ehelicher Kommunikation, denn ihr wird die Schuld an allem gegeben. Seit Generationen haben Paare die eheliche Kommunikation als das Problem Nummer eins in ihrer Ehe angegeben. In einer Umfrage nach der anderen. Doch das ist sie nicht.

Kommunikation in der Ehe hat einen schlechten Ruf....

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The 9 Most Overlooked Threats to a Marriage

(256) Comments | Posted October 13, 2014 | 5:14 PM

I feel bad for marital communication, because it gets blamed for everything. For generations, in survey after survey, couples have rated marital communication as the number one problem in marriage. It's not.

Marital communication is getting a bad rap. It's like the kid who fights back on the playground. The...

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A Message to Our Boys About How (Not) to Become Men

(16) Comments | Posted August 27, 2014 | 10:56 AM

I'm writing this from the empty playground at my boys' grade school. Right now, in the final dog days of summer, it is still and quiet. But in a week, when school starts, it will be teeming with the energy and activity of my boys and their peers. And it...

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A Father's Letter to Young Men About How to Treat a Woman

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2014 | 4:08 PM

Dear Young Men,

Our confusion about women starts early:

Last spring, a new family moved into our neighborhood. They have a school-aged daughter, and on moving day she was playing alone in her new yard. Meanwhile, a group of six boys played in our yard. When I suggested they go...

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Confessions of a Parent From the Dinner Table

(1) Comments | Posted May 16, 2014 | 5:21 PM

In the middle of a Potbelly restaurant in Louisville, Kentucky, sits a vintage potbelly stove, with a plaque reading: "For many years the Potbelly Stove warmed millions of homes...Families had their meals around the stove. Some read by its light. It is a symbol of warmth, dependability, family, and fun."

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A Dad's Letter to His Son (About the Only Good Reason to Get Married)

(18) Comments | Posted March 12, 2014 | 2:05 PM

Dear Son,

It seems like yesterday you were blowing poop out of your diaper onto your mother's lap. Yet here we are, on the verge of the birds-and-the-bees conversation. The poop was way easier.

Before we talk about sex, though, I want to talk about marriage. Not because I'll shun...

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Las palabras de un padre a su hija (desde la sección de maquillaje)

(1) Comments | Posted February 14, 2014 | 1:00 AM


Escribo esto desde la sección de maquillaje del supermercado del barrio. Hace poco, un amigo me escribió desde otra sección de maquillaje y me dijo que sentía que estaba en uno de los lugares más agobiantes del mundo. Quería saber a qué se refería. Y ahora que...

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Words From a Father to His Daughter (From the Makeup Aisle)

(55) Comments | Posted February 6, 2014 | 9:15 AM

Dear Little One,

As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me from a different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he...

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Marriage Is For Losers

(261) Comments | Posted December 3, 2013 | 6:06 PM

"You can be right, or you can be married; take your pick." I can't remember who told me that, but I do remember they were only half-joking. The other half, the serious half, is exceedingly important. Because if marriage is going to work, it needs to become a contest to...

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The Reason Every Kid Should Talk Back to Their Parents

(0) Comments | Posted November 6, 2013 | 5:40 PM

The parent in me wants to squash every little insurrection as quickly as possible. But the psychologist in me is glad when my children say "No." This is why...

Sunlight is dawning across the living room floor, and the dollhouse is full of Lego Star Wars action figures. They're sleeping...

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A Letter to a Generation of Parents (on the Eve of Back-to-School)

(4) Comments | Posted August 26, 2013 | 12:54 PM

To Every Parent on the Brink,

This week, my second child will start kindergarten. I think I know how this is going to go.

I'm going to stand on the curb while he funnels through the school doors, swallowed by the chattering horde, a couple of skinny legs topped by...

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A Father's Letter of Apology to His Boys (For Father's Day)

(2) Comments | Posted June 13, 2013 | 2:17 PM

Dear Boys,

Today, I arrived at my office door, my mind spinning with countless concerns -- house repairs and my therapy clients and blog comments and how to convince your mother I was right about something completely inconsequential. I found myself lost in the crowd of my various identities --...

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Lettre d'un père à sa petite fille (à propos de son futur mari)

(0) Comments | Posted May 3, 2013 | 11:17 AM

Ma jolie chérie,

Récemment, ta mère et moi faisions une recherche sur Google. Alors que nous étions en train de taper notre question, Google a proposé une liste des questions les plus posées dans le monde. Et figurait en haut de cette liste celle-ci : "Comment conserver l'intérêt de votre...

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A Daddy's Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

(223) Comments | Posted April 30, 2013 | 4:44 PM

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was "How to keep him interested."

It startled me. I scanned several...

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