How hard is it to be a writer for American Idol? Just lift the narration from The Sorrow and the Pity, begin every sentence with "Coming up..." and change "death camp" to "singing competition". But the rest is all there -- the ultimate challenges, the heartbreak, the tears, the uncertainty....

Losing Simon Cowell from American Idol was like losing Alan Alda from MASH.

AfterIDOL premiered last night on Fox. Randy Jackson is the only holdover from the original series. Reminds me of the final episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show where everyone was fired but Ted. So now you...

How can someone have heart problems, diabetes, several amputations, bladder cancer, and worse, be a lifelong Cubs fan, and still be the cheeriest person you've ever met? That was Ron Santo, and that was his gift. Ron passed away on Thursday. He was 70. The man who lived under the...

The best way for a baseball announcer to endear himself to a new audience is to be with a winning team. You report good news every night and the fans will love you. Piece of cake. On the other hand...

When I first became a broadcaster for the Seattle Mariners...

Shorter than the Oscars and gayer than the Tonys -- it's the 62nd annual Emmy Awards! This year starring Betty White and Temple Grandin.

For the first time ever, the Emmys were shown live in Los Angeles. NBC recognized they were up against very stiff competition this year -- the...

The Hall-of-Fame is about to get funnier. My former partner in Baltimore, Jon Miller, gets inducted into Cooperstown this Sunday. Jon is currently the voice of the San Francisco Giants and ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. Yes, Vin Scully is the penultimate baseball broadcaster but Jon Miller is the best of...

The Rally Monkey is off their back. In Angel Stadium, home of Rally Monkeys, thunder sticks, Splash Mountain fountains and other features that just wreak with baseball tradition, the National League beat the American League 3-1 for the first time since 1996. How long ago was that? The Ozone Layer...

I'm sure it comes as no surprise to anybody that the porn industry exploits its performers. Many impressionable young people with stars in their eyes arrive in LA every day and realize all too soon that this is a hard town, an unforgiving town. And for whatever reason wind up...

Just in case HuffPost doesn't slap an annoying ad over this article, you should know that today my post is sponsored by... me.

Announcing the....

Ken Levine "Stand in Line for You" Service

For only $1000 I will provide someone to stand in line for you. Just think -- the...

When I think of John Wooden I think of that Joan Osbourne song -- "What If God Were One of Us?" The most impressive man I've ever met was often spotted in Du-Pars' coffee shop in the valley. Hardly a church; they filmed scenes from Boogie Nights there. I had...

I mentioned this on Twitter and Facebook and got an unbelievably positive response. Three, maybe four people at least. So I've decided to really go for it.

I'm throwing my hat in the ring. I should replace Simon Cowell on American Idol. Crazier things have happened. Look who our governor...

If you just tuned in to American Idol for the first time this season because it was the finale (the way a casual sports fan might watch baseball only during the World Series and porn stars only catch the Masters when Tiger is playing) I wonder if you'd look at...

It was movie night on American Idol. Okay, I didn't expect them to sing the theme from High Noon or Gone With the Wind, but Free Willy and Caddyshack?? Now I'm hurt they didn't sing "Nothing's Going to Stop Us Now," the theme from Mannequin 2.

...

Here's how valued Ernie Harwell was.

Ernie was the long-time voice of the Detroit Tigers. He passed away yesterday way too young at 92. But in 1948 he was broadcasting for the Atlanta Crackers minor league team. Red Barber, the announcer for the Brooklyn Dodgers took sick and the Dodgers...

Look, can you blame them? It's the 9th season. It's hard to keep any show fresh for nine seasons. See how much you love Glee when those kids have already graduated high school and college, gotten nowhere on Broadway, and wind up back home working at Jiffy Lube and developing...

It was Lennon & McCartney night and not only did the kids pretty much rise to the occasion, no one sang "Imagine"! How many times have we heard that song trampled? I am a little disappointed no one did " Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey"...

It was "Soul and R&B" week on American Idol as performed by the New Christy Minstrels. A high school girl from Middlebury, Connecticut taking on Aretha; another high schooler getting down with Bill Withers. I'm surprised the celebrity mentor wasn't R&B legend Kristin Chenoweth.

The mentor they did use, Usher,...

When it comes to truly great vocal teachers, there are really only two masters - Barbara Cook and Miley Cyrus. One has 80 years of life experience and is an expert in song interpretation; the other can pole dance. So it was a real coup for American Idol to get...

American Idol is like the Academy Awards this year -- a plethora of nominees but only two real contenders. It's Siobhan Magnus vs. Crystal Bowersox. (Why does my spellcheck flag me for "Bowersox" but think that "Siobhan" is a real word?) The rest are just fish chum. I'd be happy...

The Oscars were very elegant this year all the way up to the opening number. Then Neil Patrick Harris sang about sodomy, masturbation, and prison and Hollywood's classiest night was underway! But the hosts were good, there was some genuine suspense for a change, and if you could make it...