American Idol -- The Most Fertile Show on Television
To win on American Idol you have to have a good voice, personality, and poor birth control. It seems like every contestant has at least one child.
Flamboyant Nathanial Marshall's only chance would have been if he stuffed a pillow inside the front of his shirt. If you're going to do Bette Midler don't pick a Meatloaf song. Tonight on the results show he'll finally have something to really cry about.
Lil Rounds has three kids. So she's the frontrunner. She's also an excellent singer but not the second coming like the judges all said. Either they heard something I didn't or they mistakenly think she has five kids.
Ju'not Joyner (I bet he has a tough time finding souvenir coffee mugs with his name on it) has one kid. I worry though. He also appeared to have handcuffs hanging from his black leather jacket. I hope they're not used for "time outs." He too is a nice singer. Or maybe it's just such a relief to not hear someone belt.
Arianna Afsar could be one of the other contestant's child. She's 16 going on 13 trying to pose as 30. She attempted Abba's classic "Winner Takes All." She didn't get one note of the melody right and I'm horrified that I know that.
Just because Felicia Barton looks like Marlo Thomas does not make her "that girl." Felicia originally did not make the top 36 but the producers found out she's a stay-at-home-mom so they called her back. She won't need a baby sitter after tonight.
Scott MacIntyre doesn't have a kid but he's talented, cute, and blind. That's easily good enough for the top 5. But if he really wants to win he should call Octomom and she if she'd spare one or two.
Taylor Valfanua could be Octomom and still wouldn't win. Boring belter. Next!
Kendall Beard is the cute peroxide blond who sings country. So even if she doesn't have a kid everyone assumes that she does.
The judges compared Von Smith to Clay Aiken and Simon had to remind him it was compliment. Poor Clay. It's bad enough his record company dumped him this week. Maybe Von Smith and Nathanial Marshall can adopt.
Kristen McNamara was the cute blond. I forgot what she sang while she was singing it. Goldie Hawn took pictures of her to her plastic surgeon and said, "make me look like this." In two years Ryan Seacrest will do the same thing.
Jorge Nunez has a nice voice but lacks just a bit in the macho department. He cried more than Nathanial.
And finally, there was Alex Wagner-Trugman who set dorks back a hundred years in the cool category. Never dance, Alex. Never! If by some miracle Alex makes it, he'll be the first rock star ever who can't get laid.
Who will go on to the next round? I think Lil, Ju'not, and in a big surprise, Carol Brady.
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Out of all the seasons, and millions of auditions, the show has only produced 2 singers with longevity beyond a year or so (Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood). That's certainly NOT a good track record. It's the fault of the production of the show itself. The show desperately tries to pass itself off as a "serious" "singing" competition every year. But if looked at honestly, it's not at all. It's a combination of the Gong Show and High School Musical.
The problem is the initial screening process. It's not televised and millions of viewers don't even know exists. Before even getting close to the chance of auditioning for the "real" judges, the singers must initially partake in extensive auditions for producers several times under the guise of "weeding out". The producers aren't looking for singing talent, and wouldn't know it if they saw it. Instead they're looking for "interesting" stuff, often in the form of sexy people and William Hung-type train wrecks. So groups of terribly unqualified singers purposefully pushed ahead in the relatively few slots with the on-air judges. Every time one of those train wrecks goes through, a singer with potential gets denied a chance to audition on-air. That's why despite the numbers seen in stadiums at the start of the audition shows, relatively few on-air auditions are with decent singers. It must be demoralizing to the good singers who see the train wrecks called back while they get the shaft. It's all about ratings
I'm not a fan of "American Idol", but I happened to see it a few nights ago and found it almost painfully ludicrous when the judges told a contestant that she needed to be more of an individual. There's nothing about this show that fosters individualism. It represents the American recording industry at its worst: total control of disposable, forgettable artists singing disposable, forgettable songs (that they didn't write) in a shrieky, overly flamboyant voice. Contestant X wins at the end of the season, remains in the public eye for fifteen minutes, and then is swept away like a dust bunny to make way for a brand new pack of warbling nobodies when the next season begins.
Yes, the public will accept crap if that's what you give them. They will also accept quality music from artists with longevity, like Bob Dylan and Paul Simon and Stevie Wonder. Apparently, it's much easier and cheaper for the music industry to grind out garbage than to nurture artistry.
They brought back the devil's daughter, Tatiana. I'm a little nervous.
Sorry, let me correct myself, last year`s winner was a very good one ! I was talking about the two years in a row, before Dave .
Cuteness will take them so far...
Not impressed, Scott was good, rest either screechy, or off key !
Remember last couple of years , where are the winners now ?
And it seems like the youngest crop ever!
They should raise the age limit- screw the demographics- these kids don't have enough life experience (regardless of the kids) to have any soul.
Lil, Scott and Jorge go through, the two guys benefiting from mostly forgettable women and going on later in the show than Ju'not and Von. I mean, really, by the end of a two hour show (even using the DVR to time-shift and skip the filler) who can remember who sang what at the start of the show? Of course, in the case of Alex, Nathaniel and Arianna Asfar, I wish I *could* forget them.
I can't watch this years Idol...I admit to enjoying some of the talent in the past..but...my gosh..I got so BORED...really!..and yes...cringed at the bad notes (and I' m not a singer).... David Foster needs to write a Swan Song for Idol...stick it with a fork...if you get my drift..
Kids may get you to the finals, but they don't help you win the Idol competition. Of the 7 singers who have actually won Idol in the past, only Fantasia has a kid -- as far as I know anyway (check me on that).
My choices to go through in this round: Lil, Ju'not, & Scott.
My prediction of who actually will got through: Lil, Scott, & Jorge.
C'mon, admit it. This is kind of fun.
No, you're right. Fantasia is the only parent in the winner's circle.
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