American Idol: Adam and the Two Other Guys
Some idle Idol questions:
How do they schedule only six songs in 64 minutes and still go over? Especially when, in years past, they'd do nine songs and finish on time.
Was Simon and Ryan in the tanning booth too long? Their skin was the same shade as Bob Evans' - a orange heretofore never seen in nature.
And were they in the same tanning booth?
What was Carrie Underwood doing on Survivor?
Why is Kara even there?
Who were some of those people they showed in the audience? They're now even less familiar than stars of Fox comedies.
Where's the suspense? Adam, Kris, and Danny are like a presidential election between Barack Obama, Ralph Nader, and Lyndon LaRouche.
Now to the performances. The judges chose one song and the contestants got to choose the other.
Danny Gokey, as per Paula's suggestion, did some forgettable song about a dancing relative, originally sung by Trent D'Arby, an artist whose name was so forgettable he forgot it himself and now is known as Sananda Maitreya. Simon criticized the song choice (I love that) and the hens were split on Danny's dancing. I thought he did fine and could become the most nonthreatening performer to have a hit on the rock charts since the Singing Nun.
His other song was Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful." I know I'm going to take heat for this but I was disappointed. Joe Cocker had heart, Joe Cocker had raw emotion, Joe Cocker had seizures. I felt none of that from Danny. Just vocal gymnastics. Rarely will a guy plead his love to a girl by blasting a note to her across the Acropolis.
Kris Allen did "Apologize" as per Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dumber's suggestion. Maybe the best moment of the year was when Simon called out Kara for picking this nothing song and then criticizing Kris' performance of it. Kara is that obnoxious cousin every family has that you hate yourself for thinking this but you wish she had married Ike Turner.
Kris' next number, Kanye West's "Heartless" was better. The judges thought his acoustic arrangement was daring and risky. Sorry but that's pushing it a little. Daring and risky is tackling an acoustic arrangement when you don't know how to play guitar.
Of course Simon had the best song selection - "One" by U2 for Adam Lambert. And of course Adam (who went back to the Joey Heatherton look) gave the performance of the night. Although, is it just me or is his high-pitched screech getting just a tad annoying? Please don't burn a big A on my lawn. I'm just askin'.
For his own number Adam did Aerosmith's "Cryin'". At this point he could have done the "Unicorn Song" and still received the same four blowjobs from the judges. He's a lock to win American Idol and either become the next Elvis Presley or Bette Midler.
And for Kris and Danny, hey, losing isn't so bad. At least you don't have to go to Africa.
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Adam is by far the most talented. He would do better to sing more in his lower register like that Rock Star God told him during his idol mentoring. He needs to remember it.
I can't wait to see what Adam sings for the finale. I'm afraid he's buying into the whole "you should be a rocker" push by the judges. I much prefer his ROF, MW, TOMT, FG, and One performances.
I've read that Prince had a big influence on him when he was growing up. I predict he's saving a totally kick *ss Prince song for the finale. "Kiss", maybe?
Whatever he picks, I can't WAIT.
Have you seen this Adam lambert mocking the American Anthem If Bill O’Reilly had a problem with Adam Lambert’s gay makeout photos, wait until he sees the Idol front-runner’s take on the national anthem. In a clip shot at the Burning Man Festival, http://movies09.com/adam-lambert-mocks-national-anthem-at-burning-man.php
That was funny.
If you want to know the voting percentages behind Idol check our dialidol.com. They are fairly accurate in predicting the results.
Sorry Ken, I am old enough to get the reference. "Joey Heatherton look" had me on the floor.
To be serious, in a political and social context, and you can't discount that, now that Danny is gone, If Adam Lambert loses it's because Kris would win because he's perceived as the least non-threatening one. Kris is the middle-of-the-road guy, the ultimate American compromise and I wouldn't be surprised if even Obama votes for him. As much I like Kris (after all, you can't help but like him), he's the one who never gets in your face as Adam does and never played on his soap opera life like Danny did nor come to the stage with a religious fervor. Kris also never would have played as unfairly with Allison as Danny did either in their duet. Neither would Adam for that matter.
So, what happened last night? I think all the comments about Adam being "too Broadway" have gotten to him. He wants to prove wrong all those who have dismissed him as simply a musical theater actor. After being in the bottom three the week before, what he heard loudest and took most to heart was Randy's proclamation, after "Whole Lotta Love," that he's a rocker in the glam-rock vein. So, that's what he showed us last night. What a pity if he allows himself to be marketed that way. For me, his most interesting performances were "Ring of Fire," "Mad World," and "Feeling Good" (listen to the studio version).
I would love to see a great producer work with him, someone who could encourage him to tap into genuine emotion and let it build gradually and with some restraint. Adam is capable of great drama -- in the best sense of the word; it will be a pity if he allows his remarkable instrument to be used only for showy effects.
Great article, Ken. Truly hilarious.
Now, about Adam (the only one really worth discussing): I'm his number 1 fan, and have been so since the beginning, but I'm kinda bummed out: I really didn't like either of the song choices last night. The U2 thing was forgettable, and "Cryin" was nothing new. We all know that Adam can do a perfect rendition of the 1980s hyper-tenor stadium rocker. He proved that when he did a fine cover version of a song by a band -- Led Zeppelin -- that started it all back in 1969. But do we really want a 1970's/80's Steven Tyler/Freddie Mercury redux? I certainly don't. I think Adam needs to find a way of letting his influences be just that--influences only.
oh my god!!!! I am so stoked about Adam and Kris being in the top two. Especially Adam......But I am very happy that America got it right this year because I do believe that Kris definately deserves to be standing right next to Adam. I thought for sure it was gonna go the other way. (Adam and Danny) Not that it really would have mattered much because I still am rooting for Adam. He is the absolute best ever to have graced the American Idol stage. Amazing...Amazing...Amazing...is all I can say about that boy....I am a 37 year old gal from Canada and only wish I could join in on the voting process......Come on America.........get it right again and make Adam Lambert your next American Idol........Vote Adam,,,,Dream Adam......See Adam......Go Adam Go....love you!!!!!!!!!
Care to make it interesting?
Stop and ask who votes. Of course teenagers do, but for the final show, maybe grandma picks up the phone. Maybe the parents are secretly phoning it in to counter whatever their kids are choosing.
Adam's terrific, but the constant change in his personal style is coming across more like -- Joey Heatherton hosting a variety show. The hairdos, the eye makeup, the tight pants, the Elvis bit, the scream. Some people may not like the style, let's just put it that way.
Danny, on the other hand, is every mother's dream son-in-law. He's a widow. He's a nice guy, everybody loves him, an all-American guy with a subdued, aw-shucks demeanor that will thrill grandma, get dad's approval, and make mom push her daughter into accepting the date.
And of course Chris is the dark horse.
But I've got a feeling, it could be Danny. My hunch.
Maybe Adam is the Barack Obama in the competition, but his screeching is getting on my LAST nerve.
I have to disagree about Kris. It is risky to do a totally different version of a song, especially when it's a very well known song. He totally knocked Heartless out of the park. I an even considering downloading that to my Ipod. And I NEVER download Idol songs. I confess I don't watch all the shows, but if I cared enough about this season I would have voted for Kris last night.
Really? Kris only did what hundreds of people have done with pop and R&B songs on YouTube. Search for any hit over the last two years and there are teenagers and hipsters alike, singing them solo with an acoustic guitar. It was definitely brave of him to go out there without an accompaniment, but it's been done and done better.
Plus the way he sings is somewhere between John Mayer and Jason Mraz, and I can't listen to it. The slack-jaw closed-mouth neck-vein-popping might not bother the girls, but I'm trying as hard as I can not to listen to his voice, and the whole package is just unfortunate.
Really? That's funny. That's exactly how I feel about Lambert. I can't listen to it. I can't stand the screaming. It's supposed to be a singing competition. I really just don't understand why everyone is so ga ga over Adam. I cringe whenever he lets rip with the horrible flashback of cheesy 80s metal screaming that I'm so so glad isn't popular anymore. I just don't get it.
one of levine's best. you must bleed this guy. he mentioned joey heatherton. that's richer than the beloved joan rivers... my heart flutters when i think we could have replaced the california girl with the runner-up. she's more joey heatherton like. anyway bleed this guy. (levine) egad. mmm the best was kris with his minimalist guitar and vocal. the only thing of real value.
"Although, is it just me or is his high-pitched screech getting just a tad annoying? "
You got it! Very annoying, since about his fourth song at the beginning of this 'contest.'
Forget the song, or whatever he does. Just start watching for his mouth and tongue.
WATCH! WATCH IT! THERE IT IS! SEE?
It's kinda like squeezing his vocal buttocks together.
Two questions keep coming to mind--
So, what else can he do?
and
Is America ready to have a this guy as their Idol?
What would that say about America?
Boy! What they could've done with his talents at Guantanamo!!!
(and take that any way you want to)
"Is America ready to have a this guy as their Idol?
What would that say about America?"
That they got it right this year for a change?
LOL. The same four blow jobs. Hysterical.
I'd have to agree with most of it, except I liked "Cryin'" better than "One". There are just so many parts of "One" that I love that weren't part of the arrangement, and he went into the power voice too quickly.
I thought Danny's version of "You Are so . . ." was really nice. The arrangement was good. I wouldn't go out and buy the album but I'm more into Muse than any number of folk-y guys out there right now, anyway.
Adam can sing ANYTHING (google Adam Lambert Brigadoon and check the vids). He can make several albums of different genre, from torch balads to rock anthems.
Even if he doesn't win, he's got a huge career.
I agree about so many parts not in the arrangement on the show... but if you go to YouTube they have the Studio Versions, where they sing the WHOLE songs. Those are the versions everyone is downloading to their iPods.
Adam's Studio Versions of "One" and "Cryin" are totally amazing - MUCH better than on the show!
"Nice" is the perfect word for Danny's version of "You Are So Beautiful" - it was like milquetoast compared to Joe Cocker's version, which always had an "edge" that kept it from being sappy!
I agree, Adam can sing ANYTHING - and he sure showed Danny how an Aerosmith song SHOULD sound!! We'll be buying Adam's music - in ALL it's incarnations - for many years to come!
"Kara is that obnoxious cousin every family has that you hate yourself for thinking this but you wish she had married Ike Turner."
You know, I may hate yourself for thinking that, too. And it's so not funny. Just so you know.
Agreed. Levine dislikes an American Idol judge so much that he wishes she'd be beaten & humiliated by a loved one? Someone needs to tell him that an AI judge isn't Limbaugh and he's no Wanda Sykes.
That was a completely unnecessary line inserted as a substitute for genuine humour & original thinking.
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