American Idol Top 8: "Dream Rainbows and Believe in Striving"

While Syesha Mercado was screeching out some faux inspirational song that strung together every "I believe/Catch a shooting star/I've waited for this moment to arrive/There's time for every soul to fly/Reach within your heart/Strive to be the very best/Anything is Possible" bullshit cliché (and every one of those lyrics actually was in that song), Doug Davis, a young pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks took the mound and pitched the game of his life...knowing that in two days he will undergo surgery for thyroid cancer.

THAT'S inspirational. THAT'S real.

American Idol's "Inspirational Music Night" was manufactured hokum -- trumping up your emotions so you'll be all primed and ready to give to American Idol Gives Back, their big charity oozfest.

Now don't get me wrong. It's all for a good charity and it's commendable that they're doing it. But there's an element of inflated importance and grandstanding that just gives me the vibe that American Idol is doing this more for themselves and their image than for the charity itself.

I will not be watching the show this evening. I watched it last year. It was like freebasing the Jerry Lewis telethon.

Nor will I watch the results show. Last year they didn't eliminate anybody. How could they? What is American going to say -- "Your song was the least inspirational. You've got to go"? Of course not. So now the show that is 90% filler normally will be 100% filler. There will be the zippy Ford commercial, the Up With People production number with the kids (probably singing "Climb Every Mountain" while Paula cries uncontrollably), probing questions from the viewers ("David Archuleta, I'm getting my braces off in a year. Will you wait for me?"), and finally the recaps -- endless recaps (Tuesday's show, Wednesday's show, last year's show, the first half of this show).

But I did watch the Tuesday performance show. I'm not an overly sentimental slug as you know but I must admit I was moved to boredom.

I know I'm being snarky but does it seem to you that the performances are just not that good this year? There are always things to goof on but in the past those were mixed with some fantastic performances. Now the judges are fawning over Jason Castro. We've lowered the bar to the point where only a limbo champion could go under it.

Michael Johns sang "Dream On". Most inspirational songs are not angrily shouted at you. Okay, okay, I'll dream on. Don't hurt me!

Syesha belted the crap out of the aforementioned "I Believe". Actual lyrics I forgot to mention included "I believe in the impossible/It's in the eyes of every child/Have you ever reached a rainbow's end?"...and the obligatory "I've waited all my life for this moment to arrive".

Jason Castro did the Iz version of "Over the Rainbow". The judges LOVED it. What am I missing? To me it was like watching Tiny Tim.

Kristy Lee Cook sang "Anyway". She said it was a deeply personal song to her. I guess because any way she can win this contest she's going to go for it. God bless the U.S.A.

With David Cook's new hairstyle he's starting to morph into Joey Heatherton. He did "Innocent" and had "Give Back" written on his hand. Carly Smithson wanted to do the same thing but her tattoo artist was on vacation.

Carly sang Queen's "Show Must Go On". I forget why she said this was inspirational.

David Archuleta did a lovely job of "Angels" although the producers didn't do him any favors making him give a video introduction. Somehow, life lessons from a 17-year-old don't have the same impact.

Brooke White got the pimp spot. Her Carole King song this week was "You've Got a Friend". But the genius of Brooke is that she picks the right one. She could just as easily have chosen "Don't Say Nothing Bad About My Baby (Oh No)", "Happy Being Fat", "Let's Turkey Trot",or "He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)".

I don't care who gets the least number of votes this week. I do care however that Doug Davis pulls through his operation this Thursday and has a complete and speedy recovery.

You can read more from Ken at kenlevine.blogspot.com

Comments

[DavidCoombs]

The consensus seems to be American Idol is a dull,mind-numbing monotonous programme,showcasing singers with little or no quantifiable talent.The question must therefore be,what are we all doing watching it+indeed spending valuable time commenting upon it?
Have we not got better things to do?We know in the back of our minds the crumbs are starting to back up in the toaster+someone’s going to have to do something about that cat litter tray at some point in the very near future,but we will happily put such domestic trivialities on the back-burner in order to spend our time being armchair voyeurs over some talentless wretch’s dreams of stardom.
Why do we do it?Lets face it there is nothing better than watching someone we don’t know fall short of the mark.There is a definite euphoria created by it.The euphoria sometimes created by a particularly poor performance can on occasion be so spectacular,so monumentally agonising that it can become blissful,the same high you can achieve through fasting or sleep-depravation.After enduring Michael Johns performance of‘Dream on’,my sense of dissatisfaction was so profound,it almost fell through the threshold of disappointment+realized a delightful Zen like condition of detachment induced by the sheer disaster of the performance.Its time to admit that actually we quite enjoy this poppycock,We enjoy everything from the nonsensical ramblings of the esteemed judges,to the claptrap that erupts from the host’s mouth like some sort of volcano of molten human excrement.

[Nommo]

Just play some Sassy for 'em and let them STFU on their own.

[auramac]

If you think Lou Reed is not an artist because "he can't sing," then I hope you enjoy your next cruise ship vacation. Simon, who I usually agree with, unless he's being overly nice, has also said he'd rather listen to Kelly Clarkson than Bob Dylan. Kelly Clarkson can sing. She even recorded a couple of decent songs. Bob Dylan would've been given the hook on Idol, and I'll take him over each and every one of them from the beginning of the series till the end.

[DCDan]

Thanks for the feedback, auramac. If you're gonna diss me though, try reading my comment more carefully first. I said Lou Reed's considered an artist IN SPITE of his lack of singing ability.

Within this context and this post Lou Reed would -- factually, by universal consensus -- NOT do well on AI, given the limited appeal of his voice.

Taste is all subjective, my friend. Yours, mine, and Simon's. Please don't preach preferences as fact.

[PhDiva]

The idols this year are all dull. I don't know if I'll last through the season. I think the show was so burned by the fact that they let Sanjaya through that they were really careful about who they admitted, but they fought the entertainment factor!!! Not enough cheese for me, and cheese is the whole purpose of the show!!!

[GeoNorth]

Gee, and I thought it was just me. Yes, this week was boring. Unbelievably boring. At this stage of the game, they have the best singers as a whole than they ever have. So why am I not better entertained?

Here's why: The producers are looking for a certain type of singer. They make records where you can hear the producer (Randy?) behind a glass saying, "Okay people. Let's get to work and make a hit." Manufactuered hits suck. Simon complains that sometimes a singer may sound like a cruise ship entertainer. THen the next night, they do an ensemble song that's right off the Princess lines. I prefer when somebody comes out, kills and pisses the judges off. Chris Daughtry did that weekly. Bo Bice did that a couple of times. David Cook does it more than not. Simon, Randy and Paula hate that stuff.

Just a thought. THere are some wonderful artists who have made it on their own who would never even make it to the final 12. How far would Lou Reed make it? How about Beth Orton? Just wondering...

[DCDan]

Interesting... I think Beth Orton would do just fine on account of the fact that she can sing.

Lou Reed on the other hand ... too bad he's regarded so highly as an "artist" in spite of his lack of singing ability. Charter member of the Academy of the Overrated.